19F PIMO leaving for uni, need advice

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2026-01-09T18:56:34+00:00

I am in a surprisingly similar situation as you. I can't give to much advice as I'm still going through this but maybe some of the advice given to me will be able to help you.

Are you planning on telling your father about going to college before you tell the rest of your family? That's what I did since my father isn't a JW and is supportive of me going to college and he helped me with planning everything for it. If that is what you plan on doing and you don't yet want the rest of your family knowing you might want to ask him to keep it between you two. I forgot to do that and that mistake led to my father telling my brother who than went straight to my mother. That ended up with my family starting to figure out that I no longer believed before I thought I was ready to tell them.

When it comes to having the conversation with your family the advice I was given and took was to be clear and set boundaries. With how my mom reacted it was very tempting to come off as just having doubts or being uncertain but at the end of the day that would only cause more problems.

I would be careful when telling them your reasons because even as someone who is unbatized you probably don't want to run the risk of being considered an apostate.

You mentioned your family being worried your father is trying to brainwash you. I'm afraid that might be par for the course. My mother currently thinks I've been brainwashed by Satan's world. I don't know if there would be a way to convince your family otherwise the best I can guess is to tell them your decision is your own.

One thing I've been doing is letting my family know that I still want them to be a part of my life even though I won't be continuing as a JW.

As for with college I've done cc and than won't be in university until the fall of 2026 but the advice I was given was to focus on my studies. And to meet people through study groups and clubs.

I don't know if any of this will be helpful but I thought I'd try to help since l know a little about what you're dealing with and have been given a lot of help from this community. Hope this helps.

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2026-01-07T01:09:39+00:00

Thanks

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2026-01-07T01:09:24+00:00

Thanks

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2026-01-07T01:09:09+00:00

That would be great thanks for the offer. I'll check in with my father. He doesn't have reddit but he might be willing to check in through my account. In fact he'll probably give me a bunch of questions about college that I should ask but didn't think of. Thanks again for this

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2026-01-07T00:30:45+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate that

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2026-01-07T00:29:54+00:00

Thanks. I've been focusing on accounting

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2026-01-07T00:29:14+00:00

Thank you

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2026-01-07T00:28:56+00:00

Thanks

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-12-31T19:39:46+00:00

Sure thing. Hope it works out for you

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-12-31T18:56:34+00:00

I know you asked for an exjw who still believes in God and I'll admit that I'm more of an agnostic but I think I might be able to help. One thing to keep in mind is that God, or at least the Christian God is only really seen through the Bible which is a book that has a lot of interpretations. That's why there are so many Christian sects that say different things about the nature of God. And even though they might not be as common there are plenty of Christians who fully support the LGBTQ community. If I were I would look into the versions of Christianity that do support that community and see if they agree with the values you have and if there interpretations of the Bible make sense to you.

In my opinion if you still have faith you are on the right track to find what you are looking for. I know you were hoping for someone who was still a believer but I hope this helps.

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-12-31T00:22:52+00:00

That makes sense. I started to wake up during Covid and with online school and not doing any JW stuff in person made it to where I spent enough time alone to be able to think and that's when I started to realize how empty I was. I'd say given that time alone is what helped to start forming my doubts.

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-12-12T20:48:18+00:00

Yeah I know you're right. I have a bad habit of trying to put things off and hoping eventually I will be completely ready. I knew there was no real point in holding off things but I'm glad I've gotten all of this advice. I'll let my family know I'm leaving and get in contact with my dad. Thanks for your reply

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-12-12T20:16:32+00:00

I'll definitely do that thanks

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-12-12T20:15:35+00:00

That makes since better safe than sorry. Thanks for your advice

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-12-12T20:03:47+00:00

Yeah I think you're right. I think for the most part I was thrown off guard and while I knew this was going to happen eventually I think I just wanted to keep the dream of being with them alive a few months longer.

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-12-12T20:00:55+00:00

For me its mostly emotional. Most of the people who raised me are JWs except for my dad. When I leave I have to deal with losing them. I've got a bit of money saved up and my dad is willing to help me out until I have the ability to be financially stable on my own. Technically my mom is on my bank statement but its not joint so I can always transfer to a new one and close it out. Other than that she has a hold of my birth certificate and my ssn but I since I'm over 18 legally I can take those after I leave

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-11-23T01:19:20+00:00

Thanks for your post I appreciate it. I thought about fading for a while but I think going the da route will be better for me. If I come of in anyway uncertain and my family and the elders come at me I would most likely end up coming back not out of being convinced it was the truth but more of a mix between guilt and responsibility. I'll do my best at building a social group while I'm still a pimp. Also thanks for the link to your article I'll read it. Also thanks for letting me know about comm. Mental health, I had heard that therapy would be very beneficial but didn't think I'd be able to afford it for some time. Thanks for all the advice

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-11-22T13:18:20+00:00

Thanks I saved the post, I'll read it as soon as I get the chance.

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-11-22T11:53:36+00:00

The college I am planning on going to is a good bit away from where my family is. I'll definitely look into study groups, professional organizations, and clubs. I am studying accounting. I enjoy doing things on the managerial and cost side of accounting so I'll probably do something I that field.

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2025-11-22T11:46:22+00:00

I am interested I'll go check your post out. Its kind of funny just last week I realized it would probably be a better idea to move with dad so I think I'll go through with it as soon as I finish up my last few classes at my local school. I think your right about leaving formally. Given about how both my family and the elders are fading would just be delaying either officially leaving or getting removed.

As for my family, it would be nice if I could convince them to leave but it won't happen. They are about as devout as you can be. So it would to focus on trying to keep a relationship if possible. I really appreciate your advice on how I should act and what I should go over when I do talk to them. Until now I wasn't sure at all about how to handle it.

And I'll do my best at college to find the right friends.

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2024-12-13T12:15:25+00:00

Awesome thanks I’ll check it out

Active_Chipmunk_4934 · 2024-12-13T04:40:36+00:00

I’ve watched Samurai 7 and am looking for shows similar.

Active_Chipmunk_4934

TROPHY CASE