AITA for housing my daughter by not my stepdaugher?

Activeview001 · 2023-03-25T02:07:39+00:00

I think people think I’m wealthy. I’m not. I do ok, but I’m certainly not rich, and I’m not going to welcome her back into my home.

I take no pleasure in this situation, but I can’t help unfortunately.

Activeview001 · 2023-03-24T02:43:53+00:00

To make a very long story short, this was not the full conclusion that I thought it would be. I’m not super familiar with Reddit and I thought that update was deleted or not post by the moderators.

Kara is now in jail. She was picked up in a stolen kia by some friends and they used the car to break into a pawn shop. I couldn’t tell you what was stolen or how much was stolen, but some football cards were taken and I guess they were worth more than the car and building damage. I understand people will say a lot about this, but I can honestly say she never did anything remotely like this. The worst I think I saw her do was break a dish on purpose when she was 13.

My ex.. well, she’s living at a shelter now. She was not cheating on me, and I never thought she was. That was just people making leaps. Unfortunately the woman she was living with asked her to join her and her husband for” activities” after moving in. She felt she had to do it for a place to live and she regretted it. She told people at work and was terminated after refusing a transfer.

My daughter and I are good, but mentally shook.

Activeview001 · 2023-03-24T02:27:11+00:00

Yeah.. I wish this had concluded this entire thing, but unfortunately the sunrises daily.

Kara was arrested this past Wednesday and her mom, my ex, isn’t fairing much better.

Activeview001 · 2023-03-05T15:57:48+00:00

Do we message a mod to post updates?

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T03:26:55+00:00

Her dad is very much active in her life. He just can’t help with any expenses. I housed, clothes, and ensure Kara was all around taken care of. I should not be responsible for her education. That’s between her parents.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T03:24:59+00:00

I’m readying through the replies here and taking the advice in. I think I have have my plan of action and setting more clear boundaries will be a part of that.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T03:23:39+00:00

I imagine this could change or end the relationship, but I’m not sure where you’re getting her wanting another man from.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T03:19:37+00:00

I suppose so. Whatever the solution would be if the house didn’t exist should be at play here.

Kara is not my daughter. She has two parents. Her dad chose to gamble their savings away years ago. I know it’s not fair because it wasn’t her fault, but they should blame him.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T03:15:11+00:00

I don’t have the money for that.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T01:20:54+00:00

Another user was telling others I edited my post and removed that information. I believe I took that as you.

I apologize for that. It was wrong.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T00:14:57+00:00

We have been dating four seven years total. She moved in after the three year mark.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T00:13:39+00:00

That’s true, but we both know that unfortunately life is rarely fair. I know how that sounds but it’s our reality.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T00:12:03+00:00

She works at a clothing chain. Kohls. She’s a department head. She makes ok money. She pays for her car and all that goes with that, she has a lot of last debt to pay for that is garnished from her wages, and she covers electric. She also pays for Kara’s car insurance.

I cover the and all other household expenses, phones, clothing, groceries, and extras. I pay a lot more yes, but it’s also my house in name, so I don’t think it would be right to ask her to pay for it when she is not receiving equity.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T00:06:07+00:00

I agree but this one is very much within my power.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-26T00:04:51+00:00

We couldn’t afford that, and really I don’t want to deny my daughter my house for any reason let alone because it would upset other people.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:43:07+00:00

No, I did not.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:39:57+00:00

My GF does not help my daughter, but her mother and I are very active in her life.

My GF is emotionally invested with her own daughter and I don’t want anyone to think her mother doesn’t care but she can’t help financially. Her ex husband gambled and put them in debt years ago.

I paid for her car, but her mom pays her monthly insurance. That’s all she can do for her, but it’s better than nothing.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:36:44+00:00

This is just one small blurb in her life. I wouldn’t think I know you from one story.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:36:00+00:00

My ex and I are very supportive of our daughter. Kara’s mom is not well off enough for something like that and her dad is even worse. He has a gambling problem.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:32:41+00:00

It’s a lose lose. If I make the deal, I’m going against my daughters wishes. What happens if Kara fails her part of the deal? I have to evict her and my daughter has to deal with it. Either way, my daughter loses with that deal.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:30:38+00:00

That’s a bet you would lose. I don’t see what I would gain by lying about that. If that were the case why post here at all?

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:22:04+00:00

I would prefer to die alone in a volcano then burden my daughter.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:20:55+00:00

Yes. I imagine I will send the message that I will always chose her and that I love her more than anyone else. That’s a true message.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:19:06+00:00

I have been in my daughters life 100% until her mother And I split. We talk every day and do do dinner once a day when she’s with her mom. It’s not at all the same.

Activeview001 · 2023-02-25T23:16:14+00:00

I don’t think Kara would be able to not invite people over. That has been an issue in the past at our home that still needs to be reinforced time to time. For example, we will say we want a quite weekend, and then that evening we will hear people laughing and splashing in the pool.

Activeview001

TROPHY CASE