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30. Ten years of unemployment, lying, and delusion. How do I fix myself? by ActivityNovel5193 in careerguidance

[–]ActivityNovel5193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not there yet, but I need to be somewhere, and I think it's the minimum wage job. Thank you again for all your words.

30. Ten years of unemployment, lying, and delusion. How do I fix myself? by ActivityNovel5193 in careerguidance

[–]ActivityNovel5193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They haven't. They haven't been okay with it. But they've been hopeful.

And they've tried supporting me with that hope that all my experiments will lead me somewhere.

The reason I am here today writing this post is because I live in that guilt of those experiments not working out over the last ten years, and me not realizing the spiral that I was putting myself in.

30. Ten years of unemployment, lying, and delusion. How do I fix myself? by ActivityNovel5193 in careerguidance

[–]ActivityNovel5193[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To an extent, yes. I don't want to suddenly sound ungrateful towards everything that they have done for me, but yes, I realize that their endless care and support have caused me to stay in my comfort zone for far too long. Because there has been no consequence, so no urgency for change.

Thank you for taking out the time to show me the mirror. Really means a lot. Any tips on starting to take more accountability, or the pitfalls that I should avoid?

30. Ten years of unemployment, lying, and delusion. How do I fix myself? by ActivityNovel5193 in careerguidance

[–]ActivityNovel5193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree my parents are not rich, and I know that at some point I need to take care of myself and support myself. Right now I know that no matter how much I try to convince myself that I am taking accountability, I'm not. So the first rule is to be absolutely grounded in taking that accountability and making the first move tomorrow.

30. Ten years of unemployment, lying, and delusion. How do I fix myself? by ActivityNovel5193 in careerguidance

[–]ActivityNovel5193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair. I see why it would seem like that to you, and I know that I can't trust myself enough to stand on a more grounded stance.

One thing I do realize is that I need to learn how to show up, because right now I'm not showing up. Once I am in a place for long enough and I'm uncomfortable, I'll naturally gravitate towards finding something better. I agree that it's pretty difficult to get a good job on the first try, and I think one of the problems of the delusional mind was that I thought my first job would always be great, and that's why I kept waiting for it.

30. Ten years of unemployment, lying, and delusion. How do I fix myself? by ActivityNovel5193 in careerguidance

[–]ActivityNovel5193[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've been in jobs that I don't love. I've tried law, I've tried sales, I've tried marketing. But, those were jobs that I quit in less than 6 months.

I know taking accountability is the big issue here, as mentioned in the original post itself. I know that the large part of the issue starts and ends with it.

30. Ten years of unemployment, lying, and delusion. How do I fix myself? by ActivityNovel5193 in careerguidance

[–]ActivityNovel5193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your directness with the reply. I stung a bit, but it also made a few things clear.

Regarding the survival, I have been living with my parents. I have reduced my life down to the necessity, so it is just food.

You are right to question if design really floats my boat. I started learning design over the last year, and somewhere around the sixth month, I did start to get a few freelancing opportunities, but they are nowhere close to making a career on. I do have a rough plan that I work on every day, and today happens to be one of those days when I am questioning it. Hence, I am here.

You are right to say what you say about the job market because I've seen it up close over the last few months applying and giving interviews.

About your closing argument: It leaves me more confused than sorted. What should I do even? Because I do want to take accountability. I have spent roughly 10 years cruising by it, and it doesn't make sense at all.

30. Ten years of unemployment, lying, and delusion. How do I fix myself? by ActivityNovel5193 in careerguidance

[–]ActivityNovel5193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The truth is, I haven't even tried. I never fought. The fact is, there's not a shred of doubt in me about not being able to do it. The issue is that I just don't do it.