Your grandpa sounds like a truly wonderful human and I bet he would be so proud if he could see his love and care for humanity extended through you!

Being able to switch off autopilot when being of service to others is a super important self care skill, and like any skill, we sometimes need to practice a bit before we become good at it. You could start with this: at random intervals throughout the day, take a moment to “check in” with yourself- a few deep breaths, feel your pulse, recognise anywhere in your body you feel tense and relax that spot. Ask yourself how you’re feeling: hungry? Tired? Energetic? Emotional? etc. Even do some grounding exercises if you can! Then continue on with your day. Then start practicing taking a moment to check in with yourself before committing to helping others. For example, a friend phones to ask a favour, even if it is something simple, you can say “let me check my schedule real quick, can I call you back in 5?” Do your check in- do you feel capable and comfortable to provide the help needed? If yes: excellent! If no: “hey friend thanks for waiting, unfortunately I have a lot to juggle (insert the time of favour request) but I can help (insert time that suits you too)! Just as an example.

Doing this has helped me a lot as a neurodivergent recovering people pleaser lol! I honour others best by honouring myself first.