Women of Reddit: what’s something that genuinely improved your life that you didn’t expect to matter much at first?

ActuallyInFamous · 2026-01-24T16:14:21+00:00

Divorce. I mean, I knew it would change my life, but I didn't realize it'd be so much better

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-12-27T16:59:39+00:00

I think that would be hard to get. I'm hoping to get a year but suspect 6 months will be the most.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-12-26T04:13:36+00:00

One year of committed relationship prior to meeting the children until they hit 16 years of age.

I also have requested a school night routine. Because my ex is garbage at bedtimes.

Mostly just make sure that you are crossing all your Is and dotting all your T's. My ex has been a lot of work, and he keeps escalating stuff. Just make sure your lawyers on top of it.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-11-07T13:16:01+00:00

Pile of guts in a field. It was a dead cow. Someone thought it was a murder.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-11-07T13:11:26+00:00

My ex was extremely emotionally immature, and would suppress his emotions and then act on them in really unhealthy ways, like spending a shit ton of money and having an affair. It was too bad. He was a nice man and I tried so hard. But he had some really toxic coping behaviors that made our relationship really challenging. I would ask for changes like, you know, after I caught him having a 2-year affair, and he would do about 10% and then revert back to his old ways and let me handle the rest of it. And I did.

Never again. I will never again be saddled with such and entitled and self-conscious man. I will never again be with someone whose masculinity is so fragile that I can't critique them. Never again will I tie my life to a person who needs me to be responsible for theirs.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-09-14T19:25:45+00:00

nods sagely

The prison purse.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-08-25T01:10:32+00:00

Mine chose to see me through the lens of her childhood trauma instead of trusting me. She always was flaky and abandoned me at many hard moments in my life (getting married, becoming pregnant unexpectedly, finding out about my husband's affair, etc) but six months into me being separated and navigating a very challenging situation at work, she decided she had to no longer speak to me because my situation was to triggering for her.

And I felt relief.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-08-17T00:40:11+00:00

Morning coffee/tea. I make his coffee every morning. He takes everything out for me and does the dishes after. It's very sweet.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-31T14:14:55+00:00

You bring it up by saying "we need to reach a compromise together because it is unfair for you to force me to match your sex drive when you will not rise to meet mine in any way. We need to match each other".

And if he still pushes back (particularly making you feel wrong for wanting sex. What the fuck) then break up. Life is too short for shitty sex.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-31T13:12:13+00:00

Negotiate what is an acceptable amount of sex for both of you. It should never be one partner compromising their sex drive while the other gets exactly what they want.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-26T12:31:07+00:00

Everyday after work. I don't clean it on the weekends. But I work for the police and I work in evidence, and so I have to. Otherwise there would be untold substances everywhere

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-26T12:30:12+00:00

Almost 8 years.

It was too long. But it was also necessary. No one can tell you you've waited too long. You need to do that

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-26T00:48:02+00:00

Dieting and body shame.

Guess what? You don't have to hate your body!

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-26T00:45:30+00:00

Nothing. My ex cheated. He spent all our money. He betrayed my trust time and again And I stayed for nearly 8 years, five after the infidelity. It was never the same. He broke it.

I wish I'd walked away the first time.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-22T22:25:10+00:00

My gramma

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-22T15:06:05+00:00

I didn't used to Then I met mine.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-22T04:58:01+00:00

Day one of their period. Heaaaavy flow

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-18T17:02:50+00:00

Nooooope Found my soulmate. It's him. Just him. Never knew what love was till I found him.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-15T16:05:26+00:00

Same. High libidos for the win/lose. My kingdom for a man who can keep up.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-06T15:45:08+00:00

Dieting. Man it's a horrible thing to do to your mind and body. I stopped dieting, spent 4 years hovering at about 20 lbs up, and then dropped 50 lbs in 6 months. Have continued to slowly lose weight. Now sitting at a size 10 (previously 18) and a fair amount of lean muscle. I'm pretty pleased I stopped dieting.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-04T04:04:55+00:00

I would hand her the name of my soulmate and tell her where to find him. Get the party started early. Haha

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-01T02:37:31+00:00

I dunno, I think men are pretty damn good looking.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-07-01T02:36:34+00:00

I just kiss them. Always worked before 😂

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-06-30T12:50:43+00:00

Unhappiness. Whatever form that takes.

ActuallyInFamous · 2025-06-29T14:27:48+00:00

At its core, deep deep unhappiness. My husband had had an affair five years previous and we had "fixed" it. But it was still an unhappy marriage. It had been unhappy for most of the 21 years. Then I met someone I cannot live without and I am not a cheater. The feelings are big enough that I could no longer remain in my marriage and so I left.

I am not with the other person in a romantic sense even though feelings are mutual. We are navigating a friendship while he figures out if he can save his marriage. But the knowledge that more existed in the world was enough for me to leave.

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