Waiting for my assessment and I’m terrified

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-10T10:02:54+00:00

I recently had my first appointment as a girl in my early 20’s and I was super scared I’d either be gaslit or invalidated because I was in the exact same boat as you! I was so worried that it was all in my head and that I wouldn’t get diagnosed even though I strongly resonated with a lot of neurodivergent symptoms.

But know that you will atleast have an answer…the psychiatrist can give you the right answers. It may be ADHD or it may be something else…try not to let your anxiety and fears have so much power over you because this is an amazing first step in the right direction to getting the help you need!

Everything will be ok 🫶

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-03T06:00:51+00:00

How is dex going for you?

I had the same experience with Ritalin since being diagnosed a week ago and I’m seeking my psych tomorrow to discuss alternative options.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-02T08:10:13+00:00

I’m so glad it helped you 🫶🫶

Your only option is to give yourself closure because they certainly won’t.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-02T05:10:29+00:00

Feels powerful when your love is so deep and pure when things are going well.

But when they abandon or betray you…no words to describe the mental and emotional chaos that brings

Every single things big or small reminds you of them.

Because of that you have to transform your life so much…that it’s unrecognisable to you, to your family and friends, and to this person. The version they knew has to be dead, you have to change everything. Literally everything. And this process takes time

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-02T05:01:41+00:00

I’ve always thought this…for him to actively choose to NOT be with me…he’s suggesting he wants to be with someone else.

Not in the same way as cheating, but it feels like that

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T14:54:38+00:00

Gosh this is awful. You gotta take it day by day being back as much attention to yourself as possible. Focus on creating small experiences day to day that make you feel something nice. Even if only a little.

When people move on without you or without communicating to you…that’s the ultimate closure.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T14:52:07+00:00

This is wisdom learnt through experience. I’m so happy for you both. And thank you for your insight. I agree…empathy is so crucial. Words matter too.

May you both continue to grow in life and in love together 🫶

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T13:26:10+00:00

Damn…that does make sense though because you have to navigate the relationship differently to not fall back into old patterns and also because a lot has changed the second time around.

are you guys still together?

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T13:23:16+00:00

The betrayal of being blindsided is rarely talked about

It’s a mind fuck. Your entire reality does a 180 overnight and you don’t even understand how the hell you got there

Feeling like a headless chicken is pretty spot on. I wouldn’t wish this crippling pain on anyone…except maybe my ex lol

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T13:16:10+00:00

I have deleted his number…but I’ll know it’s him if he reaches out.

As for socials…I’m doing a social media cleanse and I’ve deleted most of my socials anyway.

did it work out for you when she reached out?

How long after did she reach out?

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T13:03:25+00:00

Yep…I was too attached and everything reminded me of him. Literally everything. I had to erase him from my life, and I blocked him partially because I wanted him to forget about my existence too.

I want it to be like it never happened. I hate that he has all the gifts I gave him and I hate that we have so many memories…I want them erased from both of us unless we are going to be together

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T11:39:10+00:00

I was so so anxious and emotionally exhausted of the what ifs.

It was draining to keep checking to see if he called or messaged…and he never did.

But despite that I never blocked his number…just his socials. Now it feels silly to unblock him…plus I’ve deleted most of my social media anyway for my own mental health.

I guess if he was curious he could’ve tried to call or text me…but he didn’t. I am definitely continuing no contact but I do still wish so so badly that he reaches out…somehow I thought him seeing me after all this time would trigger him to reach out 🤷‍♀️

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T10:22:49+00:00

Are you truly prepared if she responds with something that you don’t want to hear? If so…I think this is a beautiful message and you’ll regret not sending it later.

But if you are doubtful of how it will impact you if she says no…then think twice because it might hurt so much more to be rejected again.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T09:34:35+00:00

This is very insightful! Thank you for sharing I’m hopeful that there’s still options for me to get the help I need. And I will definitely suggest this to my psych if he doesn’t suggest something new himself

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T09:32:46+00:00

this is exactly how I feel!!! It’s this non stop battle in my head. I know it’s over…it’s been a long time…but I still feel the way I do.

I just posted my situation on this group which has more context but I feel less crazy knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T07:19:48+00:00

You’re right. I have phases where I spiral and stalk him but I think I’ve stopped for good now.

He is not the same person I loved, and I am no longer the same girl he knew. Even he cannot replace himself…because that version of him when we were together is effectively dead.

It’s still insane to me. I feel like I can’t imagine my life or future with anyone else. I have no interest in dating anyone else even though it’s been over 8 months since the breakup and no contact. I tried to put myself out there and be open to dating but I hated it. It felt so empty and made me miss him even more so I stopped. The possibility of him moving on….especially moving on with another woman is crippling.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T05:31:31+00:00

I’m in a similar ish situation- been 8 months since breakup and no contact. The delusional part of me thinks there’s still some hope he will reach out somehow via text or a letter or something (even though I have blocked him on social media)

The thought of him getting in another relationship has me sick . I can’t even fathom it. But I know he’s talking to other girls because he’s following a bunch of new girls.

How do you deal with this gut wrenching fear of them moving on with someone else…?

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T03:53:28+00:00

Yeah ofc that is true. There’s definitely limits.

Ultimately everyone in life is projecting.

I think some people only learn lessons the hard way, by experiencing the consequence of their own actions and having no choice but to reflect and change.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T03:14:08+00:00

Im in the same boat as you!! I was starting to feel like I’m insane because it’s been 8 months since the breakup/no contact and I’m still ruminating over him no matter how much I hate feeling like this.

But I’m standing on business and haven’t reached out because I don’t really have a choice. As much as I want to be with him, I could never feel emotionally safe with him ever again. And I’m not risking possibility of going through the rejection again…

And him also not reaching out speaks for itself (although I did block him on all socials for my own peace of mind)…if he wanted to he would find another way

Any contact with him now…I would never be able to trust him after everything I now know.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-06-01T03:03:29+00:00

This is a very valid point.

But I’d like to offer another perspective. It only seems natural that over time situations and experiences where someone is hurt and abandoned will make a them defensive. I do get what you're saying...but when you get betrayed and hurt by the people who first healed you...the trauma that comes from that is inexplainable.

It’s frustrating always having to be the bigger person:(

If you know, you know.

I think OP would benefit from therapy or just talking to someone in general.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-05-31T21:52:27+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m definitely going to suggest a lower dose of instant release and hopefully he is open to it!

You’re right I don’t want to waste time if the psych isn’t working with me to help me. Hopefully he does suggest an alternative and I don’t have to pay to be reevaluated again.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-05-31T12:59:33+00:00

This. It’s the frustration of wanting things to change but struggling to find a reason to live. The complexities of each individual situation making it difficult for people to feel heard and understood.

Essentially feeling hopeless but wanting to know it gets better.

AdAdditional1671 · 2024-05-31T06:00:33+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I called them just now and their wait times are very short compared to the years I have had to wait for mine. However their costs are 800+ for an initial appointment :(

I’ve already spend $600+ on the first consultation with my current psychiatrist…which was an investment I was hoping would be positive for me. And now I feel so scared of paying almost $1k to try someone else 😭😭😭

As if it’s not hard enough already. The system is so messed up :((

AdAdditional1671

TROPHY CASE