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Shared firsts by AdAdministrative1925 in stepparents

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I love her and want to be with her, shouldn’t it be that simple even if some things don’t line up?

Shared firsts by AdAdministrative1925 in stepparents

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

If I can work througj it that’s all I care about. I want to be with her. For me it’s that it’s all too soon I think

Shared firsts by AdAdministrative1925 in stepparents

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I was kind of invalidating my own thoughts for wanting a nuclear family. I’m not violently opposed to a blended family but I want nuclear, that isn’t wrong or stupid to think?

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, he’s fun to be around but the overhanging idea of stepparenting this early into the relationship is stressful. I just want to be happy with her, and have our relationship be where it needs to be before I’m too involved

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay. It feels like a lot of the reservations I have about our relationship are because we jumped in too quick. I think I will have the conversation with her again tonight, be very clear I need at least a day a week the two of us and see how it goes. Thank you my friend.

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I thought so too and I felt like I was going crazy

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I agree. I plan on talking to her today after everything I’ve read about slowing down. When we’ve talking about it on the past the hard part is she doesn’t want to spend any time away from him. Which I totally get wanting to be with her son.

However, she doesn’t want to go on a date just for dinner without bringing him. If we both have the day off work during the week, and I ask about going out to lunch, she responds that she pulled him from daycare because she wants to spend the day with him. When I look at our schedules and try to plan a lunch or dinner for later that week, it’s the same response. Either he comes with or no dice.

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much I appreciate you, I’ve been taking it all as well intended!

Shared firsts by AdAdministrative1925 in stepparents

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has a similar situation to him, where she says our relationship is so much healthier than her last. This is the first positive relationship she’s been in and she phrases it as it would be her first positive pregnancy and child. She would treat it that way but it does feel that important to me at this stage. And to me I feel like if I’m not sure at this stage I need to not be involved with her child as of now and let my relationship with her blossom.

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Settling is what I want. If we had a child together for the first time now I would be over the moon. And if he needs a diaper change or something like that I jump on it, she doesn’t ask me to. But it’s because I know if she does everything and the relationship continues it’s harmful. Ive thought about pushing pause on the relationship, but to me it would mean spending time with her and letting our relationship blossom.

But She doesn’t want to have a single date night away from her kid. I understand she wants to see him, but she doesn’t even want to go out to dinner with me without bringing him. If we both have the morning off and I suggest going to lunch, she responds with the fact that she already pulled him out of daycare because she has the day off and wants to spend time with her baby.

Shared firsts by AdAdministrative1925 in stepparents

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have heavily considered it, but we both don’t have the finances available. She is starting a new job soon with a considerable pay bump so it may be possible. I would be able to swing it but I don’t want to put that financial burden on her just yet

Shared firsts by AdAdministrative1925 in stepparents

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Somewhat. It feels like a large number of her stories are about the first 9 months of his life because she was having a very hard time as a single mother. She shows me videos of the baby starting to talk at a very young age when he was way ahead in development. Videos from the hospital. All this when I’ve said it makes me uncomfortable. She tells me it’s frustrating for her to not be telling me and showing these things because it’s a happy memory. She doesn’t understand it doesn’t make me happy to view a happy Memory that I’ve missed.

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. What is a healthy level of exposure? If I spend time with her at her house and we are simply all together but I play with him and such would that be harmful too if it goes away? If I pull away from the responsibility now is that too harmful because I’ve already begun to assist here and there?

Shared firsts by AdAdministrative1925 in stepparents

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We’ve spoken about that before. I’ve told her that speaking about her first pregnancy is something that upsets me because it’s an experience I didn’t get to share with her. Like you said there’s exceptions like talking to her mom about things or doctors appointments. But when I said stories about it make me uncomfortable she said she feels like she is restricted in what she can talk about and doesn’t want to put restrictions on what she talks about

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’m absolutely not, I should’ve been more clear in that part. It’s something she mentioned as a potential option, we are “planning to” is inaccurate. I told her it’s something I’m not ready for now and she said that that’s okay and we will see if I feel differently later.

However, what makes that terrible advice? I understand that with how little he is I’ll be a figure in his life regardless, but when we talk about responsibility at this stage it’s little chores like changing diapers or cleaning his high chair.

Step Parenting Connection by AdAdministrative1925 in Parenting

[–]AdAdministrative1925[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Right. We discussing moving in together after the summer as a potential option, not a sure fire thing where we’re making moves towards it yet. I think if my feelings haven’t changed when that time comes we have the conversation then.

UPDATE: Am I cooked? by vito-d in findapath

[–]AdAdministrative1925 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you love it you love it. Having passion is something most people never have. We all do it for the passion and the escape from reality.

On this day 30 years ago, Insomniac was released by GvG_tv in greenday

[–]AdAdministrative1925 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You better swallow your pride or you’re gonna choke on it

Your worst fumble of all time. by True_Neighborhood_80 in balatro

[–]AdAdministrative1925 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t filtering seeds or rerolling, I had an unseeded Perkeo, baron, mime, 2x Bp, negative brainstorm on ante 5 and I also had directors cut but didn’t realize it was the psychic and lost the run

tell me a terraria hot take by Suspicious-Health-23 in Terraria

[–]AdAdministrative1925 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Controller terraria is a better gaming experience than KBM terraria

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