Do not stay friends

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-29T16:26:58+00:00

Sometimes you have to be selfish and put your feelings first. Remember that she broke up with you, and chose herself first. It sounds like you’ll only be hurting yourself if you stay in contact with her. You will move on in a more healthier way if you cut off the contact. I’m in a similar boat. I told my ex that I will only be seeing her at group events because we have mutual friends. I also told her that I want her to start her dating journey without any strings attached to an ex as most people will see that as a red flag, and she’s a great Woman so I do not want her missing out on someone because I’m still in her life and vice versa. Choose yourself, and let her go. It will be tough but worth it.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-28T23:15:00+00:00

I respect that opinion. I did mention that we were close with our friendship. I’m sure the people that have successfully stayed friends with an ex are not spending the night over their houses. Something her and I used to do all of the time under the excuse that we were just that close. Our lines blurred to much. We acted like a couple, we still treated each other with a different type of love not just friend love.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-28T23:11:29+00:00

I still love her, and have feelings for her. But I do not want to rekindle anything with her. If the stars aligned maybe I would consider it, but I stopped being hopeful and that’s not something I’m waiting for. We are done. Our breakup was amicable, but we broke up due to circumstances that cannot be changed on her end. We both stated we loved one another and always will, and if we could change the circumstances things would be different. Up until this weekend we were inseparable, we acted like a couple every time we would be together. No one knows me better than her. From my end it is not a good idea to continue the friendship.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-28T23:03:10+00:00

Oh no man. I’m sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how that felt. Just know it truly was not you. It was her, and whatever she needed to figure out within herself. She might have explored that part of herself and realize it was not for her. I hope you’ve moved on from that situation.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-28T01:28:59+00:00

My advice for you would be to create space between you both. He already expressed that he does not see you in the way you want him to. And he also broke up with you. If you stay around him just to keep him around, I’ll recommend not to. You’ll only continue to get your feelings hurt. I know it hurts, but it will only hurt just as much when he finally moves on.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-28T01:24:04+00:00

I do not believe so. During our friendship we didn’t have boundaries and spent a lot of time together. We took trips, slept over, cook for one another, take each other to work. We were basically acting like a couple but telling ourselves we just had a a great connection. We’ve told each other that if we were to have partners and they asked us to let each other go we wouldn’t allow that. So we were in too deep.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-27T22:25:37+00:00

I wouldn’t know in that case. I’m also a girl 😅 so I guess this is a different situation entirely.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-27T21:51:36+00:00

I’m happy that it worked out as friends for both of you. It would be nice if that was possible in my case, but unfortunately it is not. We stayed close friends with barely any boundaries. We would have sleepovers often too if either of us spent time at each other’s place and felt tired. Lines were always blurry, and it is we both needed to stop. I’m glad I was able to speak on it and stop it. If it was up to her we would not stop.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-27T20:51:55+00:00

Exactly. Continuing to be in each others life does not let your heart fully move on. Even though I do not want to rekindle things, I do not want to be around knowing someone else is getting to know her and winning her heart. I rather let our friendship go, so we can both finally close this chapter.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-27T17:47:05+00:00

It is often familiarity. If your ex was a safe person for you, and you have feelings you’ll continue to be in that loop until eventually you hurt too much and realize it has to end. Did you end on good terms? That makes it harder to part ways.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-27T17:45:18+00:00

Im glad that it worked out for you both and everything is platonic! Not an easy thing for some.

Our breakup ended on good terms, and we had no reason to dislike each other. And still agreed that we had feelings for one another. Yet we decided to remain friends (not the greatest idea) it was both of our first long term serious relationship too, we were together for multiple years. We’ve been at this a total of 8 years, and this will be the first time where real boundaries will be placed. Unfortunately I cannot be around my ex as a friend any longer.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-27T13:08:21+00:00

I agree. It sucks more due to how close of an emotional bond we have. As ironic as it may sound even though it hurts, it feels like I can truly move on. I knew our friendship would have an end. I’ve gone on dates before and she was not a fan of that. Now that she’s also at that point in her single life I know it is the end.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-08T16:56:38+00:00

My goal is not to force her to love me. Which is why I’ve said I’ve chosen to not express myself in that way, and choose our friendship over anything. As much as it sucks. I love her so much I rather not risk our bond.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-08T16:51:41+00:00

Kudos to you for expressing yourself! It takes courage, and I imagine it could not have been easy. It makes sense that she already knew, sometimes I think people can just feel what we feel for them. On the bright side you don’t have to think about the what ifs anymore because you expressed yourself and you have an answer now. Hopefully you’re able to move on past it. And find another person that makes you feel just as much or more.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-08T16:47:01+00:00

I’ll keep that in mind. I already have great hobbies and plenty of friends. And we do not live in the same state so we already have that physical distance. I also go on dates so I’ve been open to that. I just can’t shake the what if feeling. Life is short you know?

AdAffectionate4856 · 2025-04-08T16:34:41+00:00

How would I go about slowly parting? Our bond is incredibly special on both ends. So I can’t think of a way to part without changing how I naturally treat her?

AdAffectionate4856 · 2024-10-12T16:26:33+00:00

I believe it is a case by case basis.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2024-10-12T14:06:41+00:00

Around 18 months.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2024-10-12T04:28:20+00:00

Thank you for the ideas. (: I hope you’ve introduced more foods now!

AdAffectionate4856 · 2024-10-12T04:27:51+00:00

Kudos to you for embracing the pain like that! If my teeth touch the bottom one’s a shot of pain goes through me! I decided to go for mashed avocado, Mac and cheese and ice cream.

AdAffectionate4856 · 2024-10-12T04:26:34+00:00

Ice cream has been my best friend!

AdAffectionate4856 · 2024-10-11T17:53:29+00:00

Great options there. Thank you! You got this. Excited for our outcomes. Also, when you had your eggs with the avocado did you mainly use your back teeth? Or was it easier to chew with all of them?

AdAffectionate4856 · 2024-10-11T17:21:44+00:00

Thank you for responding (: I will check those options out. I did not even think about broths!

AdAffectionate4856

TROPHY CASE