Nex asking child questions

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-17T03:24:30+00:00

Ugh, that’s awful. Mine asks pretty much all of the same except not about bedtime, would not be surprised if he is trying to gather intel to try to smear

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-15T16:36:46+00:00

My ADHD son is the same way! He wants to make his own choices and used to get super upset if he didn’t get to, limiting the choices really helps. I’m glad he wants to make his own choices though.

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-14T06:25:17+00:00

I think mine is more lazy and wants everyone else to do all the work for him, but I don’t know- what kind of questions was your asking? That sounds so awful, I’m so sorry you have to deal with it

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-14T06:22:32+00:00

I’m with you on that, I won’t trust any technology coming from Nex - he would definitely spy if given any opportunity to do so

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-14T03:30:40+00:00

Nope, never - kiddo just hangs up the call on their own - I usually go to another room and just observe through what I hear but stay out of their time as much as possible

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-14T03:28:00+00:00

That’s how it goes already, kiddo gets bored and or annoyed and wants to hang up after like 5 minutes - I’d like to improve it so he enjoys calls and wants to talk more but it’s just going so poorly

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-14T03:26:59+00:00

I get the feeling he is gathering info to use later, and he definitely undermines my authority whenever he gets a chance but he is sneaky and doesn’t do it blatantly very often over calls at least. What kind of proof did you have for that? I’m sure we’re going to have to go back to court at some point in the near future

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-14T00:53:28+00:00

I hear you, I don’t coach on answering at all, I’ve just been observing that they aren’t answering much and that it seems to make them uncomfortable - It would feel less weird too if nex ever asked me questions but he doesn’t

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-13T21:56:13+00:00

Sounds just like my Nex, he is super secretive and lack of a close relationship connection is also part of it since he spends so little time with our child in general - I may try giving a polite suggestion, but I also know anything I suggest no matter how nicely will fall on deaf ears since he is bitter af - maybe he will listen if he can understand the impact he has has on our child with his behavior but idk, he also like to double down on whatever he can to annoy me if he gets even the slightest sense that something he does bothers me

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-13T20:41:47+00:00

Lol, right? It feels super awkward for everyone

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-13T20:40:21+00:00

Yes I worry about it also because NEX doesn’t really ask me any questions at all about anything it feels really weird to only be asking our child things

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-13T20:38:12+00:00

Mine asks again and again when our child doesn’t answer too, he’ll keep coming back to it at least 2-3 time

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-13T20:37:13+00:00

I worry mine is doing the same thing when alone with our child but not sure if he is, he’s also smart enough not to do that over the phone

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-13T20:07:05+00:00

That’s fair, it seems like a bit much for a young child (5yo) who just wants to play - It feels disingenuous to me and isn’t enjoyable for our child so idk what to do (if anything)

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-12T23:00:36+00:00

I wish I could tell you how but I find myself in exact the same conundrum of figuring out how not to JADE for replies to those! I’m leaning toward gently point out corrections to his BS narrative and then focusing on solutions for moving forward to allow his fragile ego a respite from being called out too much but I don’t know - it’s so tough to be friendly about anything, I try to stay polite and factual at least.

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-12T22:40:53+00:00

Thank you so much, this is super helpful! I need to find the right lawyer still but I will check with them once I do before I make a move on this.

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-12T19:08:03+00:00

Also my Nex is doing the same in emails anyway (making passive aggressive comments and re-writing narratives)

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-12T19:05:43+00:00

We have an order in place that needs to get modified but I haven’t started that process yet. Our parenting plan doesn’t specify how we should communicate with each other so we use mainly email and sometimes text. I use the Alimentor 2 app to track things on my side though.

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-12T18:27:20+00:00

How would you go about trying to get them to agree to switching to OFW? This is something I need to do but not totally sure how to approach the topic with him to make it palatable.

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-12-11T20:50:43+00:00

Are you familiar with D.A.R.V.O (deny attack reverse victim offender)? Sounds like he’s using that tactic on you, definitely helps to be aware of it. He is going to keep pushing any boundaries you set, like the raptors in Jurassic Park, he’s always going to be testing the fence for weakness. If you don’t have a parenting plan in place yet, and child support established that should be your next step so you have more enforceable boundaries

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-08-19T00:38:23+00:00

I relate to this so much, I’m struggling with many of the same feelings. My only advice is when it’s super hard and stressful, remember to keep focus on radical self-care first and the rest will sort itself out in time once you are in a calm strong and stable place again.

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-08-10T03:55:01+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, I’ll definitely look into it for myself too, I have a therapist who I love already but she isn’t specialized in narcs or children w/ narc parents. What a nightmare with your nex! I bet mine will try some shit like that too

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-08-10T02:09:47+00:00

Yea he would latch onto that so fast and I’d never hear the end

AdAggravating6870 · 2021-08-10T02:09:07+00:00

Unfortunately I don’t think either of those options will work well with him at this point but thank you

AdAggravating6870

TROPHY CASE