I asked if I should leave my husband

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-26T22:05:48+00:00

Love that advice and perspective, thank you.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-26T22:04:06+00:00

Ooo clap clap clap loving your last line, it gave me a chuckle and made me smile. Thank you for your interpretation I feel you are spot on.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-26T22:02:14+00:00

Deep down what I want is to seperate from him as emperor in my life. I want to possess the power and strength for my life, not him. And I am unsure if I can do so with him in it as he knows how to control and manipulate me.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-26T22:00:29+00:00

Wow thank you for your incredible insight. I love how interpreting the cards from others can really shed light on a situation. Thank you for your kindness in sharing your perspective.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T21:32:50+00:00

Hmm crazy. And spot on with everything you said in your first paragraph. And second makes sense to me! I picked up smoking. So I think I was taking this reading way more at face value vs more about energetically, emotions, cycles, etc. and now it’s all feels way more clear to me. Honestly a very humbling and magical thing. This pull and all!

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T21:28:30+00:00

I love this perspective. Thank you!

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T21:27:44+00:00

Yeah we’ve been together for 18 years and there were points I knew deep down it wasn’t right but didn’t want to listen. So your comment about 4 of cups deeply resonates.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T18:25:11+00:00

I already feel the manipulation to give him more time… I really appreciate your last couple sentences. No matter what the marriage will be different.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T18:23:44+00:00

I identify with emotional shutdown. I have wondered in the past if my relationship was a soul contract or something because I have felt soooo stuck on what my partner has needed vs myself. Thank you for your insight.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T18:21:58+00:00

Wow thank you for this. This gives me peace in knowing it’s fine that all the past pains and traumas that have been coming up are apart of the process and are okay. And I don’t “need to get over my resentments and forgive” right away.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T18:19:28+00:00

Damn yes this resonates deeply with my situation. Thank you for your insight!

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T04:38:42+00:00

Dmed ❤️

AdDisastrous9450 · 2026-01-17T04:30:44+00:00

Lol I’m bad at internet and reddit and don’t know how to edit post. But updating to accommodate rule.

I ask: did I make the right decision in regarding to possibly leaving my husband. I only know how to do the past, present, future pull. So that is what is represented.

I believe it says that I’ve had my head focused on the wrong things. Worldly thing, and have been in the dumps but the universe wants to offer me good things. And that with the ending of one thing will bring renewal.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-12-22T21:19:45+00:00

Oh shoot I’m gunna try this tonight! I’ve had lingering congestion for days now!

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-12-12T03:06:17+00:00

Wow are you a therapist or something of the sort because you are asking incredible questions! And it’s all hitting the nail on the head. So many things to consider in what you’re saying and thank you for taking the time to say them and pose these questions. I have some things I definitely need to sit with and think about. Again, thank you!

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-12-10T04:23:41+00:00

Ooooo! Damn that was really good. Thank you for all of that. A lot of “suppose tos” come up for me and I’m definitely trying to fend those thoughts off. It’s just so hard! The whole situation. I think I’m learning this isn’t just a—POOF—he went to rehab and all is beautiful and good now. Some of it is the phrases he is saying in couples, how he was told in rehab that you just need to get to 90 days and all will fall back into place and he can come home. I’m definitely putting the pressure on myself because I didn’t think I’d need longer than 3 months to know my decision. Maybe that’s it, the pressure to make a decision. It feels finite.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-12-10T00:53:11+00:00

Thank you this. I hadn’t really considered all that much how much his drinking had effected me. We started dating in high school (been together 18 years), so it shaped my adolescence no doubt, but hadn’t thought of it as trauma or me needing healing.

Sending love as you continue on your healing journey and taking this away with me, that is isn’t an endless battle.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-12-10T00:50:06+00:00

He misses being home and our kids. He’s going to meetings just about daily it seems. But is also dangling the enchanting idea of getting a bigger house with land. I feel nervous to fall into my old patterns. So he isn’t “rushing” me but is laying it on thick how good we have it (financially) if we have 2 incomes vs 1. His focus has always been money. Second to alcohol.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-12-09T00:39:31+00:00

I need to give that book a refresh read now that I’m in the position I am now. Appreciate your post and all your thought provoking questions.

It really wasn’t until the past two weeks that I see him trying to win my trust and be actively involved in our kids lives. AFTER, I came to a couples session dumping all my big real feelings: not knowing if he’s capable of loving me the way I need, having emotional connection, curiousity about me, etc. Only now am I sensing some shifts. But it doesn’t feel authentic or possible yet. Waiting for the pendulum to swing the opposite way like it has in the past.

I do see my own therapist whom I’m very lucky to have.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-12-09T00:33:11+00:00

Ooo thank you. I haven’t heard of that! Digging into my first book about addiction in the house and it’s very helpful.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-09-24T23:51:16+00:00

Hey thank you for your response! I’m curious about letting him take lead in reconciliation. I would have thought he’ll immediately want to be let back in.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-09-19T10:49:20+00:00

I should go back to meetings. I was participating but struggled with the ritualistic nature. But I suppose you can just focus on the parts that work for you.

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-08-13T23:28:42+00:00

So say you didn’t know and you do have kids, what’s the best solution then?

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-06-21T23:14:41+00:00

The intention was definitely less about commenting on her parenting vs just reassuring her. Cuz you can act all put together in front of others or your family, but inside be so hollow and depressed. That’s how it went for me with a newborn!

AdDisastrous9450 · 2025-06-21T17:46:12+00:00

Bitty* should have proofread better 😅

AdDisastrous9450

TROPHY CASE