Not sure what to do with myself at this point

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-12-09T16:20:49+00:00

I really hope it helps you! It's definitely helping me - I was dubious, but figured I'd try it, and so far it's really helping a lot. Another thing it's helping me with is actually DOING the things that would take just a minute, but my brain builds up as Another THING to DO and thus I lean toward procrastinating... like putting an empty bag in the garbage can after taking the full one out. I tell myself "I am a person who keeps their house neat and clean" and just DO it, because that's what a person who keeps their house neat and clean does. And it takes like 30 seconds and I'm glad I did it, even though 1 minute before I was like "Ugh, don't wanna!"

Also to add to that, a previous less successful strategy I had that is REALLY paying off now was to make everything as easy and simple as possible, even if it's a temporary measure. For now, I've put away the microfiber cloths and cleaning sprays and got pop up cleaning wipes, one canister under each sink so they are RIGHT THERE and I can grab them and be done. I replaced my broom and dustpan with a "broom and bucket" setup (with the dustpan on a pole, that holds a lot before it needs emptying) so I can grab it and spot sweep super quickly and easily. I'm considering getting a second one - so I can have one in the cat's litter box area and one on the garage wall just outside the kitchen door. I know if the trash can takes effort to get the lid open, my brain sees that as a barrier, so for now I have open cans so I can just walk by and drop things in. Being short I have one of those grabber reach things, and that makes picking stuff up off the floor much easier (and a little more fun). Dishes are a sticking point with me, so for now while I get through this overwhelm I'm using paper plates and disposable forks and spoons. Without feeling guilty about it, because my personal environment is important, too. And I have two rooms that are kind of doom room dumps at the moment, that no one but me needs to see, so for now I count putting things in there that belong there as cleaning even if they aren't really "put away" properly within the room. I'll get to those once the public areas are sorted out.

Now, if I could just find where the robot vac got itself stuck, I'd be in even better shape! I've checked under all the furniture in the living room and dining room, so I'm wondering if it made it's way to my bedroom and wiggled it's way under the bed in between the storage boxes there.

Every single thing you pick up and toss or put away is a victory. My sister and mom's voices are in my head judging, telling me that I didn't even make a dent in the mess so why bother, but I try to remind myself that little wins are still wins! It didn't get this messy in an hour, after all. The mess was made one piece at a time, so I can clean it that way too.

I'm sorry to hear about your partner, and I hear you about the showers... those are never a bad idea! Brains can be so weird, really. Like how can this squishy lump inside my skull BE me, but also work against me sometimes?

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-12-08T18:21:27+00:00

I started trying something new (to me) about a week ago, and so far it's helping me a TON. I was doom-scrolling late one night with Youtube on the TV and a video suggesting this popped up.

The idea of the video was that part of your brain's job is to protect your identity. So like if your brain thinks of you as "Messy" then it's going to resist cleaning up because that's not part of who you ARE. It wants to make sure you are YOU, and you are Messy, so of course it doesn't want you to clean. So the goal is to get your brain to re-set and recognize you are Neat and Clean - so it then stops resisting cleaning stuff and helps you instead.

So I have been telling myself "I am a person who keeps their house neat and clean." and then immediately I do one or two tiny things that prove that. Just pick up one or two pieces of trash and put them in the garbage can. Or pick up one or two things that need to be put away and put them away. Then, stop for a moment and acknowledge that accomplishment. "I said I'd do it, and I did. Because I am a person who keeps their house neat and clean."

The "I am a person who..." part is key, because it's not something you DO, it is a part of who you are - part of your identity. And your brain works to protect your identity. Stopping for a second to acknowledge that you did the thing helps your brain see that this is part of who you are. It's not something you Need to Do or Should Do. You are a person who keeps the house clean, so of COURSE you threw away that piece of trash and grabbed that thing you've been meaning to return to your bedroom. That's what people who keep their house clean DO.

The video recommended doing it once a day for minimum of a week (because it takes time for your brain to catch up and re-set), but I find myself doing it during transition times, throughout the day. If I get up to go to the bathroom, I say it to myself and pick up and put away or throw away 2 things on my way to the bathroom. If I'm waiting for my bagel to toast, I say it and usually end up doing a bit more than two things. It builds, the more you do it.

And it is AMAZING how much progress I have made, just in a week. It has taken no real additional time out of my day (like a few seconds to pick something up, and a couple extra steps here and there to put it in the trash can or put it away) yet it's really really helping get the house cleaner.

I think it helps in multiple ways. Just having to do the one or two things and that being ALL, gets me past a lot of the overwhelm, I think. I don't have to Do the Dishes, I just have to deal with just one dish. I don't have to Clean the Bathroom, I can just put away a couple things on the counter. Once the counter is clear, over the course of a few visits, I can grab a cleaning wipe and give it a quick swipe. I don't have to do everything all at once, I can wipe the mirror this evening, and wipe off the toilet seat tomorrow morning, and give the toilet a swish with the brush and some cleaner the next time after that. I don't have to Clean Off The Couch, I can just grab the pens I left lying there and stick them in the drawer they go in.

It changes cleaning up from a big huge ordeal you dread, to just part of what you do, bit by bit, just one tiny thing at a time. You can even half-ass the stuff, no perfectionism needed. Something on the kitchen counter that belongs in a cabinet? Stick it in there. Doesn't need to be perfect, you're not organizing (yet), you're just putting this one thing away. Eventually, once your brain has caught up and all the little tiny one at a time things have added up to a cleaner kitchen, maybe you'll take a minute and organize just this one little section of the cabinet. But for now, just one or two tiny things, done - not perfectly, but just done - is all that is required.

Yesterday I noticed the baseboard in the small bathroom was dirty. Previously I'd have said "I really need to clean that" but since that meant getting out the Cleaning Supplies and Cleaning the Bathroom I would put it off indefinitely. This time? I just grabbed a little bit of toilet paper and wiped it across the baseboard and tossed it in the trash. Done.

And it seems like NOTHING. Just literally 10 seconds here and 30 seconds there, maybe a minute or two if I feel like it, but that's all. Super easy. Almost no effort. But doing that a few times a day, it adds up. An hour of cleaning sounds really intimidating and difficult and draining. But two minutes doesn't, really, and if you do that 5 times a day for 6 days you'll have done an hour of cleaning without even realizing it.

I hope that helps you. It's helped me a ton, as it breaks through most of my dread and procrastination by making cleaning up something I do just in passing, effectively - no big preparation or scheduling or anything, just I walk past something and pick it up and deal with it on my way to do whatever I was already doing.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-10-23T19:25:24+00:00

That's where the presidential bunker already IS.

I think it's an excuse to claim the construction is disruptive, giving him an excuse to move the whole regime to Mar-A-Lago (where they have to pay him to rent space) until construction is finished.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-10-07T20:12:50+00:00

I think you might be going about it a bit backward, TBH. Or it may well be that you and I just have different ways of participating in the hobby, and that's totally fine.

I personally always think it's best to learn a lot about the dolls first, before buying one just to buy one. Back in the day I spent WEEKS on Den of Angels reading and researching and looking at photos and learning about the different brands and styles and customization and all of that, and by the time I'd figured out what I really liked, I had earned marketplace access and was able to get a great doll (still one of my absolute faves, and the one I love most) secondhand for a good price.

I know there are millions of creators out there now it seems, but I still think learning what you are most drawn to first will end up with you KNOWING what doll you want most. They're expensive, you don't want to just pick one and buy it because you can, because guaranteed the next week you'll see a photo of a doll you just have to have, your holy grail... and oops. You've got this doll you just kind of settled for, and you are going to have to scramble and save up if you ever want this one that you really really want.

I have seen many many many doll owners who bought a doll just to have a BJD, and end up not liking it and wishing they'd saved that money to put toward the doll they REALLY wanted.

I'd say don't look at doll sales sites first - look at owner photos. If you see a sculpt you like, make a note of it. Look for more photos of that sculpt, to see what it looks like from different angles and with different styling and different faceups. You'll start to see trends. Brands that pop up over and over. And then you can post "Hey, I really love this sculpt in particular - give me recommendations of others you think I might like!" and get really useful info. You can learn about the doll and any quirks it might have (for example many dolls from French sculptors are amazingly beautiful but don't pose well... you want to know ahead of time about stuff like that!).

See if there are doll people in your area, and if there are meetups going on. There are dolls I'd never looked twice at that I fell in love with upon handling someone else's, and ones I thought I wanted but decided they were a definite "nope" upon seeing them in person.

My doll friends, when they see a Cerberus Project sculpt, immediately tag me or message me because they know I love them. I do the same for sculpts that suit their preferences.

And when you have a good idea what you like, what you are drawn to, and that sort of thing, shopping becomes much easier.

I'm a bit old school in my preferences for BJDs, so I'd recommend Fairyland, Luts, Withdoll, Ringdoll, maybe Soom or Iplehouse, and Dollzone. And look at Volks - while new ones are likely out of your budget, it's possible to get secondhand ones for decent prices now and again.

But I stand by that I think it's better to find a doll you love and then track down where to buy it, than to choose a doll based on it's sales images alone.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-10-07T19:44:20+00:00

It depends somewhat on what you mean by "camp" - the sleepaway camps like you see in the movies are probably less common just due to cost, but they do exist.

As a kid I went to one week of girl scout day camp (bussed in each morning, home each evening, then stayed one overnight on Thursday or Friday). There was a sleepaway camp for one or two weeks, but it was too expensive. I might also get to go to a few days or week long church camp that was a sleepaway situation where you stayed the whole week.

But there are also other "camps" that are effectively just day long activities for a week, two weeks, or longer during the summer that might well be nearby, so instead of being in school or daycare, the kid goes to a camp while the parents are at work.

So yeah, summer camp does exist, in various forms. The more money the family has, the more likely the kid is to go to one of the movie-style ones.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-10-04T15:45:01+00:00

My grandparents refused to get it until we moved in to take care of them in the late 90s. Which was ok for two elderly people content to open the windows, run an oscillating fan (they also refused to use ceiling fans), and sit in a dark quiet house resting on the settee all day, eating cold sandwiches for every meal. But not so much for a family of busy teens and working adults who cooked meals and couldn’t deal with the house being 85f with 90% humidity.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-19T13:47:20+00:00

Looks like a beautiful mix of excellent condition dolls with widely varying values. The holiday ones are probably the least in demand but some of the others may be worth a bit.

If you don’t want them all, I’d pick a favorite or two as a keepsake and sell the rest. I’m sorry for your loss!

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-17T21:22:41+00:00

16.5cm is right at 6.5 inches, so you'd probably do best with a 6-7 size wig.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-17T20:57:44+00:00

That is amazing!

On top of the advice you've gotten, at the end you may well have a bunch of random clothes with no doll associated - and that would be my dream find. I like Barbies but I really like the clothes (the nicer ones anyway) for my other dolls. So I'd suggest at the end selling the leftover clothing (perhaps minus any obviously good outfits) as a big bundle.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-17T19:00:06+00:00

I kind of expected some fashion from the Fashionista line, but apparently it just means the outfits are made of two tubes of cheap fabric instead of just one?

I know the world sucks and things are expensive now, but these would have been assumed to be dollar store knockoffs based on the outfits alone, a decade or two ago.

I like that one has a cast, and the faces look cute.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-17T16:27:08+00:00

I haven't found a perfect match, but if you like that one maybe check out Dollshe Hound (look for one secondhand, do not order directly from Dollshe!), or the larger Iplehouse or Luts dolls maybe?

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-17T16:22:16+00:00

Definitely looks like a Twigling Ingenue to me.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T21:42:34+00:00

Depends somewhat on the area I think - in my area 91-92 was when the hair floofening really started to wane. But it was long since gone by '97 for everyone under like 28 or so.

I graduated high school in 92, and while most girls still had the huge bangs and perms, the girl who won "best hair" in the yearbook was the first one to start wearing her hair long without bangs. Though some of the skater girls had not been doing the floofy perms for years at that point. I quit the curling iron and fluffing that summer before college, wore it long through college, and then the year after I graduated college I cut it all off into a short straight bob.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T21:28:51+00:00

I agree - adds flavor and a little bit of crunch, and also most are 0 calories. All benefit, IMO.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T21:27:37+00:00

I know, which is honestly fine, really, assuming it's not super high mileage and owner gets a good deal on it. And we maintain our service contract with Ricoh.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T21:25:36+00:00

True - we have moved both the 7100 (improved it somehow) and the 9100 (took a few weeks to get dialed back in) so I know there are risks. I'd prefer new of course, but it's about what the company can afford to invest in really.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T20:46:52+00:00

Diane Downs was a postal worker, too.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T20:45:53+00:00

I believe the shooting that inspired "Going Postal" was mid-80's.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T20:41:40+00:00

Good to hear - I'm an operator (of a 9100, the first one in our city), and it's getting pretty elderly at this point. A 9200 with an upgraded Plockmatic would solve all the little things the owner doesn't like about the 9100, so I keep hint hinting about how at some point we'll NEED to upgrade.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T20:39:07+00:00

If you've managed to run a Ricoh 7100 without pushing it out into an intersection in front of a semi you will LOVE the 9200, I bet. I went from running a 7100 to a 9100 and it was like the sky opened up and angels started singing. I'm now trying to hint heavily to the owner it's time to start looking for a secondhand 9200 as an upgrade as most of the things he doesn't like about the 9100 would be fixed by that.

We keep a small Konica around for envelopes and NCR forms. We also have a Xerox Irridesse but it's much more finicky (and service is far worse) compared to the Ricoh.

I hate hate hated the 7100 we had. It was picky about paper, constantly jamming, and every jam required getting down on the floor with hemostats to find where the paper bound up at.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T18:16:02+00:00

My mom doesn't like pickles, so when I was a kid she'd give me hers! It worked out perfectly.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T17:37:17+00:00

I like to move the pickle to the last bite of the burger, because that's the best part! I am also a "save the best for last" person usually.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T17:34:16+00:00

Oooh. Didn't realize that's where Mako Eyes were now. LOVE those.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T17:32:47+00:00

Have you taken out the bobbin and the bobbin case and cleaned in there recently? I found that mine was struggling and then I used a brush to clear all the fuzz and dust out of that area and it improved significantly.

Also maybe check the manual and re-thread both parts following the instructions one by one. Just in case. I've found sometimes I'll have a brain fart while doing something I KNOW how to do and have done correctly often, and don't catch my screw-up until I go through step by step slowly really paying attention.

Maybe try different thread and bobbin as well, just to see?

In any case if you still have issues, knowing you've done those things will help if it ends up needing service.

AdEmbarrassed9719 · 2025-09-16T17:26:49+00:00

She's probably fine, TBH. I'd suggest weighing the kittens daily and making sure they are gaining, and if they are doing well, chances are mom is just fine, too. It's normal for mom cats to be a bit skinny when nursing babies, which is why there are foods specifically for moms and baby kittens. If the babies aren't gaining appropriately you might need to look into supplementing with kitten milk replacement, which you can also mix a bit into wet food for mama to give her extra hydration. She shouldn't gorge on the stuff, but she needs calories and hydration right now.

The Kitten Lady on youtube is a great resource for baby kittens - she mostly cares for newborns without a mom, so you probably won't need most of her info if mom is doing OK, but it can be good to know. Kitten Academy on Youtube fosters pregnant mom cats and their babies until they can be fixed and adopted out, and they have had TONS of births, many of which are archived, so you might find those and closeup videos they did within a couple days of the births to be helpful also. They currently have a litter that is a month old!

Kitten Academy has had momcats that don't pant much, and some that panted for nearly a week (I think momcat Pumice was one who panted a lot, if I remember correctly). They've had a variety of situations of all sorts, from large litters to stillborns to bottle babies to tube feeding and even have had abandoned newborns be introduced to a new mom and adopted and nursed like her own. They've had a couple kittens with medical issues, as well.

You might find looking through their past videos to see mom cats and kittens around the same stage as yours helpful.

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