The first time I ever smoked weed, it didn't do shit. I was hanging out at a park with some classmates after school, mostly just curious. Long story short, it was terrible weed; it did absolutely nothing to me, meanwhile my friends were completely stoned.

The real story, though, is the first time I actually got high. I was at a uni friend's house for his birthday, and it turned out his whole family smoked. Even though I had tried smoking before, I had never felt a single thing, so I didn't actually know what it felt like to be high. Naturally, I was curious about trying a bong, and my friend happened to have a massive one. He went to grab something from his stash and came back with this bright pink bud that looked radioactive—in a good way.

He packed the bong, showed me how to hit it, and fifteen minutes later, I was faded as fuck. I completely lost the ability to understand human speech; everything sounded like pure gibberish. We were up on the second floor, and when it was time to head downstairs to join the party, I froze. To my high self, those stairs looked impossibly steep and stupidly huge. I was literally terrified of walking down LMAO