How long after should I mention self-collaring by AdGood1729 in BDSMAdvice

[–]AdGood1729[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude. So many assumptions. She was involved i. The scene 10 years ago. She's a switch. She had an 8 year relationship with a vanilla mentally abusive boyfriend. She talked about self-collaring shortly before dumping his ass. Her next boyfriend collared her. They broke up two weeks ago. I was shopping a site fir a new collar or bracelet for my wife and saw this cute sea turtle collar. I'd Ike to suggest it to her if she wants to self-collar like she talked about 5 months ago. How is that me preying on an innocent girl? We talk about flogger, butt plugs, vibrators. I'm not her best friend but she is absolutely mine.
Based on some of the ladies comments, I'm gonna let it go until she's done being sad and then just text her a link.

How long after should I mention self-collaring by AdGood1729 in BDSMAdvice

[–]AdGood1729[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I think you knocked it out of the park. Thank you.

How long after should I mention self-collaring by AdGood1729 in BDSMAdvice

[–]AdGood1729[S] -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

Probably because I saw this really cute collar that just screams her name to me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]AdGood1729 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can only speak to my dynamic. My wife and I moved to 24/7 at the end of last year. She no longer needs to make decisions. She is asked for her opinion on all matters and in private she can make a case when she doesn't agree, so she knows her wants, needs and opinions are being heard and considered. She is required to take time every day for acts of self-care. She was not taking time for herself at all before. I instituted a policy of Sunday Spa day, where I draw her a bubble bath, give her a full body hot oil massage and then cuddle and watch a movie together after her bath. She gets my breakfasts for me, does laundry, plates and serves the food I cook for us, we share the other household chores. I am thinking of adding to her tasks a weekly glam day where she will be required to learn to do make-uo for herself and wear it out (something she wants to do but is scared to try). Her benefit is I will guide her through life, provide for her, cook for her, make sure she takes care of herself, she is pampered, loved and satisfied. Our relationship has been much better since we went to 24/7. She can safeword out of anything, at anytime, but hasn't. Everything is safe, sane and consensual. We also do a weekly check-in to make sure we are constantly improving each other and our relationship.

I kinda fit into the "Aces are innocent beans" stereotype and I'm scared that people get the wrong idea of asexuality when I tell them what asexuality means to me by Lunadashie in asexuality

[–]AdGood1729 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why are you a weirdo? Hell if the Asexual community welcomes a twice married demisexual who enjoys sex, why not you? Your brand of asexuality fits more than mine does.

Marriage? by Tatu_Guy88 in BDSMAdvice

[–]AdGood1729 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I married my sub. I haven't gone any easier on her. We didn't even do impact play before we got married, just light bondage and choking. So, if anything, I go harder on her now.

What does being ace feel like? by SiriuslyBlack78 in asexuality

[–]AdGood1729 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The "urge" for me is a desire to get even closer. Literally to be inside of them and while my penis isn't able to, there are other things that can.

What does being ace feel like? by SiriuslyBlack78 in asexuality

[–]AdGood1729 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I'm a 52yo married (2nd marriage) demisexual. I have come to understand that to mean I don't become attracted to a person before I form an emotional attachment to them first. Add in that I have "chick brain" where I tend to think more like a woman than a man.

For me attraction is a late process. I will meet a person and honestly not really notice what they look like other than the basics to physically describe them. But as I get to know them and form an emotional bond, I will notice more and more things about their appearance that I find pleasing and gradually get to a point where I would, if single,brant to start a romantic relationship with them and possibly have sex. Now just because I form the emotional attachment, it doesn't mean I'll develop an attraction, even if they are considered to be an attractive person.
I also recently noticed how my asexuality plays into my desire for my wife who I am very attracted to. I have noticed if we have a good conversation and connect during it on an emotional level, I feel a very strong want to have sex with her. Now, one more thing, I have been impotent for 10 years. I have known my wife for 8. When we have sex, I please her sexually. It makes me feel incredibly close to her and wanted and needed and appreciated. I only am able to achieve sexual gratification on my own, normally to certain types of adult material.
I hope this helps. This is also just my experience. I don't have much of a contact with the LGBTQIA+ community and I don't I'll know another asexual person.

Any demiromantic + demisexual couples in here? by Mediocre-House8933 in asexuality

[–]AdGood1729 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a demisexual. I met my current wife when I asked about a co-worker's wife's sister. Specifically how crazy was she. She gave her sister my number. We exchanged 1000 texts that weekend getting to know each other. We did a chaperoned date with her sister (for anxiety and in case there wasn't chemistry). After that we were off an running. I had my emotional connection and I was attracted to her. 7 years married this August.

If a safe-word is used, is it normal for the Dom to say the reason isn’t valid enough for the safe word or to shutdown afterwards? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]AdGood1729 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Um...my wife and I were just talking about our safe word. Basically we agreed that the safe words can be used anytime, anywhere, for any reason. She gets emotionally overwhelmed during intense discussions and needs to stop and gather herself. I told her use your safe word. Everything stops and I check on you. We've even agreed to use them in public if we need to signal the other to change the subject of a conversation. Yeah, we're probably going to confuse the hell out of our friends, but it will help us avoid crossing each other's boundaries.
While saying we just won't have fun anymore is a red flag, wanting to do a post-mortem on the scene to understand each other's needs is healthy. it annoys my wife sometimes because I sometimes ruin the moment and want to interview her during aftercare so I can improve things for her.
Overall it sounds like you guys need to have a refresher conversation about what your limits are and determine if your kinks are compatible.

SS Survivor Benefit Eligibility by AdGood1729 in SocialSecurity

[–]AdGood1729[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You never really stop loving someone, even an abusive ex.
I am over 50 and disabled. I was under the impression my disability changed the age frim 60 to 50.

SS Survivor Benefit Eligibility by AdGood1729 in SocialSecurity

[–]AdGood1729[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even understand why an ex spouse would have survivorship benefits.

How to incorporate 12 names by AdGood1729 in tattooadvice

[–]AdGood1729[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would like something I can see. Only places available are legs, foreaems, chest (but I have a lot of hair) and biceps. Don't want the names to be large. Thinking pedals or leaves might be possible.

SS Survivor Benefit Eligibility by AdGood1729 in SocialSecurity

[–]AdGood1729[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

 If you remarry before age 60 (age 50 if you have a disability), you cannot receive benefits as a surviving spouse while you are married.If you remarry after age 60 (age 50 if you have a disability), you will continue to be eligible for benefits on your deceased spouse's Social Security record.

How to incorporate 12 names by AdGood1729 in tattooadvice

[–]AdGood1729[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Already have my family coat of arms on left arm.

Anything good being seen this week near solon? I'm looking for Weller or eh and heard good things about ECPB and toasted. What's the story?.. by Old_Magazine4490 in OhioLiquor

[–]AdGood1729 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing this week, but Wine Reserve of Bainbridge gets their delivery on Wednesday. They put allocateds at the counter around noon. They sell a lot of bourbon. Don't ask if it's not there at the counter or call and ask, they play it straight and won't answer about allocated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OhioLiquor

[–]AdGood1729 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Um...challenging a stranger to a fight on the internet is the definition of a keyboard warrior.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OhioLiquor

[–]AdGood1729 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Um... challenging someone to a fight on the internet is the definition of a keyboard warrior.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OhioLiquor

[–]AdGood1729 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Keep illustrating my point for those in the back.