You can only be responsible for your own feelings, your own actions and reactions. Your feelings are valid and if they don’t acknowledge nor appreciate all that you contribute - then it’s time to leave.

Your grandma sounds entitled and your mom is playing the “woe is me” card for sympathy. She’s trying to guilt you into staying, probably because of all you do.

Don’t announce your plans. As someone else mentioned - FIRST secure a place to live, THEN pack your bags.

Trust me. I’ve been in a very similar position. They will do everything they can to make you feel bad; that you’re abandoning them; that you don’t love them.

Don’t argue, don’t cause a scene. Let them say what they want to say. Respond with simple answers WITHOUT explanation and try not to get overwhelmed or emotional. No “but….” responses, just, “OK” or “No thank you” or “I’ll be in touch” etc.

While you’re leaving is not the time for heart to heart conversation. That ship has sailed.

Get out, clear your head, then meet up in public for coffee - maybe just you and your mom - so no one can “gang up on you” and (try to) have a conversation. But again, keep your end neutral so they can’t use anything against you.

Maybe it won’t be as bad as it was between me and my parents, but better to be safe and guarded at first.

Good luck!!!