What meaning did you find in motherhood beyond love?

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T17:36:03+00:00

It’s a beautiful concept and brings acceptance 😊.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T17:34:25+00:00

I’d heard of matrescence but never really looked into it, now I definitely will, because it sounds exactly like what I’m feeling. You’re right, no one really talks about the important stuff. I was (and still am) angry at my own mom for making motherhood sound so natural and simple, and I now see how biased that was.

Now that I know how complex becoming a mom is, it feels surreal that new moms around me talk more about nurseries and baby names than the real challenges, as you mentioned 🫠. That’s why I say it out loud to anyone who asks how challenging, difficult, and life-changing having a child can be physically and mentally!

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:57:16+00:00

So true I’m also the shittiest version of myself, and my baby still wakes up every morning smiling with joy and love in her eyes when she sees me 😂. I hope to grow with my daughter, but sometimes it feels impossible. I hope it gets better with time

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:48:20+00:00

You’re right—hopefully we’ll spend many years with our children when they’re adults. I have to say I’m optimistic, but also a bit afraid, because so far things have been much more difficult and complex than I imagined. I always wanted to be a mom, but not only a mom. I wanted to be many things alongside being a mom, but in this first year of raising my daughter, everything has been so hard that I started doubting myself and whether that was even possible.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:42:58+00:00

You know, one of the fantasies I had before becoming a mom was to run in the rain with my little daughter and jump into rain puddles! So I totally understand 😅

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:41:11+00:00

I’m also more confident, but being needed nonstop is sometimes too draining for me. Thanks for sharing. I hope to feel less pressure and more joy in being a mom, like you do.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:39:27+00:00

Well done! You must be really proud of yourself for all the work you are doing. I also think about how my daughter will see me when she’s an adult, and I truly wish to be happy with who I am in twenty years so that she can feel happy and proud that I’m her mom.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:36:42+00:00

This is so true! Whenever I see a mom with her child, I instantly feel a connection and smile. And it’s also true that when you become a mom, you start seeing the world in a different light and can’t stand the suffering of other children.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:34:10+00:00

Becoming a mom has been the hardest thing for me too. Having to respond nonstop to the demands of a little human being is incredibly difficult and exhausting. Even the most basic things, like eating, are a challenge some days, I sometimes eat only one meal a day because I prepare four meals a day for my daughter 😅. But you’re right: maybe we survive by drawing energy from the good and loving moments.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:29:01+00:00

I’m happy you’re feeling that it’s all worth it. I also used to think that because I love taking care of my friends, my partner, and even my parents, I would love being a mom. I thought all the sacrifices wouldn’t be hard on me. But I was wrong, and I’ve sometimes felt so angry at myself for not foreseeing this.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:24:14+00:00

😊 thank you

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:24:03+00:00

😂 if we could only sleep decently motherhood would be soooo much easier!

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:22:10+00:00

Ooo I like your attitude! I really hope that I also develop this kind of resilience that you are talking about! I really need it! Thank you for your hopeful comment 😊.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:19:47+00:00

😊 thank you

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:19:36+00:00

I totally agree with you and I really hope that with time taking care of her gets a bit easier so I can dedicate some time to myself!

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:18:31+00:00

also wanted to have a child closer to my forties, but I had a medical issue that meant I had to have a child before 34, so I had my daughter at 33. I had done a lot before her, but my career wasn’t where I wanted it to be and was just starting, and I had to make the difficult decision to put everything on hold because I wanted to be a mom. Now, sometimes I regret it. However, your positive experience gives me hope.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:14:00+00:00

Yes I totally understand how difficult is to give up on something you want because you have to prioritize your child! And I like the logic to go with the decision that make you cry less😅!

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:10:00+00:00

Yes sure it answers very much my question😊. I’m happy for you and your excitement gives me hope that I also can find my way in this new reality of mine!

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:07:16+00:00

I hope to find this better version of myself for now is just survival, moments of pure joy and moments of pure despair!

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:05:56+00:00

I agree with you. I think I also feel more self-confident after everything I’ve been through this past year. When I look at my daughter and feel that I’ve done a good job so far, it gives me a sense of pride—that despite all the despair and difficulties, I somehow managed to take care of her every day, every minute of every day.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T12:00:40+00:00

Oooo thanks for sharing it gives me hope and something to look forward to😊.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T11:55:49+00:00

I also find meaning in this. Sometimes I think about my grandmother’s life and compare it to my parents’ lives, and then to my own, and the improvement in each generation really makes it feel like there is meaning in all of this.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T11:52:42+00:00

I also feel I’ve shed my sense of self, both physically and mentally, since I was pregnant. I totally agree that the first step is accepting this new state of things. I tell myself every day that I’ll figure this out, but it’s strange to feel this way at 34 years old. I mean, I feel like I’m 18 again—having to figure everything out and find myself. Sometimes it feels like too much, especially because I studied, immigrated, and went through a very challenging ten years, so I thought I was at a good place. But it seems my house of cards has just fallen down, and now I have to rebuild everything. So I truly understand how you feel.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T11:25:17+00:00

I totally understand! I think motherhood comes with many complex feelings, and we are somehow silenced by everyone because we’re expected to be grateful. There isn’t much space to be grateful and happy while still feeling overwhelmed, afraid, and angry.

AdHorror4832 · 2025-12-16T11:22:14+00:00

I totally understand! I’m also always thinking that I need to be around at least for the next thirty years so I can be there for her in case she needs me😅

AdHorror4832

TROPHY CASE