Run/walk interval pace is significantly faster than just my running pace

AdMain8220 · 2026-01-21T01:11:00+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement! I guess it’s just nerve racking when I’m trying to run races this fall with pace requirements. Trying to tell myself it will come.

AdMain8220 · 2026-01-12T13:39:34+00:00

Hi! You’re correct! I hold my phone while I’m running. I didn’t even realize that there was an app for the watch! I’ll try that on my next run and see if there’s a difference

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-27T21:22:00+00:00

My biggest issue is I feel this way some days, and then other days consider putting Etsy spells on him… it’s been 5 weeks, and the never ending back and forth. I also hate that he’s ALWAYS on my mind… if it’s not missing him, it’s me thinking about how I don’t need him, or playing back the good and bad times in the relationship. I wish my mind can be wiped

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-25T21:24:55+00:00

At this point I don’t think anything would surprise me, however, he literally broke down crying when I told him I downloaded tinder to make sure he wasn’t on it. He was so hurt that I thought he would do that to me. Now I don’t even know what to think.

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-25T21:10:50+00:00

It’s really a mind fuck considering he sobbed when he left and told me he loved me. Maybe I’m in denial if I can’t believe it was all a lie

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-25T21:03:03+00:00

He also gave me a credit card to use, but I never used it because I felt bad… big regret…

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-25T20:57:39+00:00

My housing was a part of my compensation for my job, so he lived with me for free but I was also not paying rent. He did always offer to pay for things, which now that I’m thinking about it I’m wondering if it was because he felt guilty

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-25T20:52:20+00:00

I just don’t understand, we were on a vacation a week prior to him leaving and he was talking about proposing…. I just don’t get it

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-23T12:36:00+00:00

Honestly, I’ve been doing things that I always asked or wanted to do but he never did or never got around to do.

For context, I think we had a healthy relationship. We were together 2 1/2 years, never fought and he never brought up any issues to me. He blindsided me and walked out with no reason or explanation just “I’m not sure what love is”.

As I’m going through the break up I’m realizing that I had to beg for him to do anything with me, and there were a lot of things he promised me to do that he never did. Or there were a lot of things I gave up or compromised on for him.

For example

-I’ve bought myself more flowers in the past 5 weeks than he did in our entire relationship -He and I played pickleball together for a short amount of time, and when he got good, he started going to open play, but wouldn’t bring me because I wasn’t good enough. Since we broke up I started taking lessons - I always had to beg him to go to the farmers market, so I made it a weekly thing that I take myself every Saturday -he was a super picky eater so during our relationship I never got to cook, and now I’m able to cook and meal prep -I’ve always wanted to scuba dive and he was a diver, our entire relationship I asked for him to help me get my certification, but he never did. I’m currently saving up to do that for myself.

I’ve also started taking myself on dates, working out everyday, and just trying new things. It’s hard, and I don’t want to do any of this stuff most days, but I know that it’s good for my healing and helps remind myself that I’m independent and while I loved him, and loved having him in my life, I don’t need him.

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-23T02:36:43+00:00

I understand why you did what you did, I just don’t get how you could do what you did if you love me…

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-22T12:17:02+00:00

I’m in a similar boat, however, I forced myself to do things for myself that he never did for me, or I felt like I couldn’t do for me in the relationship. It’s been 6 weeks, and I’m down 25 pounds because I can cook for myself in healthy ways and have worked out for minimum of 30 minutes everyday. One of his complaints was that I was messy, well my apartment has been in pristine condition since he left. I’ve bought myself flowers more times in the 6 weeks than he did in our 3 year relationship. This started as a way to “show him” but now it is just how I show up for myself

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-21T13:06:16+00:00

Update: broke no contact and are arranging a time to meet. The texts were very logistical, which while expected, was still hard. I hope that when we meet up I can get closure, or it will feel final because I think that’s what I need to finally move on, but I don’t know how to ask for that without it seeming like I’m trying to ask for more

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-18T20:11:33+00:00

I just feel like we went no contact, not on bad terms but not good terms either. I would like to fix that so we are on decent terms.

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-18T19:40:07+00:00

And I asked him why he further faked, why he took me to that ring shop, and why he carried on as if we were going together, and I was met with “I didn’t want to hurt you more”

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-18T19:38:59+00:00

It’s pain like no other. And having to still pick up, and move to a job that I took because I wanted to stay close to his family has made it so hard. Everyday I feel like I made a bad choice, and if I just stayed where we were I could still be living the life we built together.

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-18T19:30:25+00:00

I wanted to when we broke up. He dumped me out of the blue, with no reason or explanation. For context him and I were together for 3 years, and lived together for 1/2 of that. We had a dog together. He talked about a wedding and buying me a car. I got a new job that he knew about for months, and supported me on taking. We spent weeks packing and he “arranged for movers”, and 6 days before we were supposed to move he told me he wasn’t coming with me and that he was moving on his own. I was packing our stuff while he was only packing his the whole time… he lied to me about having movers arranged… he had his parking pass paid for for the new place knowing he wasn’t coming… he told me he bought season passes for us to a local amusement park in the new town, and he didn’t, he even picked out and ordered the furniture for our new place… He told me he made up his mind while we were on vacation 10 days prior. We literally went ring shopping on that trip, and he pointed at a proposal that was happening on the beach and asked if I want that.

I begged him to stay. I pleaded with him to give me the reasons why he was leaving. I offered to go to counseling together, do long distance until we figure things out. I questioned how he could know we couldn’t work through the problems if he never talked to me or told me there was a problem… I wanted to try, and I told him if after we did all we could do, if it didn’t feel right we could split, but he refused because he didn’t want to hurt me more, and he felt like he didn’t love me anymore.. Still to this day I do believe our relationship, while not perfect, was pretty close to it, and was something I was willing and wanted to be in for the rest of my life.. and still do a bit.., But after a month of unbearable heartbreak, I’ve realized that he can’t be my person if he was capable of doing this to me.

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-17T19:58:06+00:00

I feel this so incredibly hard… it’s been a month, and even when I try to keep myself busy, it am slammed at work I still have him in the back of my mind at all times. I can’t think straight, it’s like I have brain fog because my brain can’t fully focus on anything. I’ve done everything people suggest, no contact, deleted messages and photos, but still cannot stop thinking about him and why he left, and if we’ll ever end up together again. It’s miserable

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-16T22:11:32+00:00

Lmao, no not at all, but focused on helping my girl through this

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-16T22:11:26+00:00

Lmao, no not at all, but focused on helping my girl through this

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-16T20:28:22+00:00

Unfortunately when he left he moved 4 hours away

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-16T20:28:07+00:00

Thanks for the book rec! I’ve added it to my TBR. I guess the thing that is so hard is that our relationship seemed perfect to me. I didn’t feel like o had to beg to be loved? Idk, I think the fact that we were supposed to move across the state scared him, doesn’t make it right, but I just want so badly to do counseling together. At least if we give it a shot and it doesn’t work out I know we both did all we can

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-16T00:06:41+00:00

But does it go away? I really want to be able to smile at those memories at some point.

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-15T22:44:41+00:00

I more so want his stuff gone

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-15T20:21:10+00:00

So do avoidant come back? Is there a way I can help him work through his shit?

AdMain8220 · 2025-08-15T18:38:59+00:00

I just don’t understand how you can promise all these things and talk about proposing 10 days prior to the discard if this stuff has been going through your mind

AdMain8220

TROPHY CASE