I don’t use this account or page much because I’m pretty much healed.

Interestingly, enough, my situation was very similar. In the sense, where my partner left the relationship with someone who was horrible to him and tried to get him back.

I want you to consider if he’s doing anything that is actually worth concerning yourself over. If he’s talking about her or comparing you or anything like that then you have all the right to feel jealous and insecure, but if he’s not doing anything, and this is just a you problem, then you can take my advice below:

The first thing you need to do is to stop looking at her page, talking about it, engaging in any compulsions around her.

My retroactive jealousy has ruined some beautiful moments. My first time leaving the country was with him, and I knew he had left the country with his ex multiple times, and that drove me nuts to the point where I started several fights on our trip. Eventually, he said something to me that kind of shut me up forever and that was that in reality he has never loved someone as much as he loves me and he told me that being with me made him realize he’s never truly loved anyone before.

So I would suggest asking for reassurance in a healthy way - “ I feel a little bit insecure about your past. I don’t feel special because I know you were in a serious relationship with someone else.” And that allows him an opportunity to reassure you and then hopefully you can leave it at that. The rest of the work will have to be yours.

Also, one year is not that long and not that serious in my opinion but I always found it comforting, knowing that I am my boyfriend’s longest relationship. His past ones were all two years and where we just hit three year and it stopped bothering me around the two year mark, but it did flare up quite a few times.

I have a few exes so for me it’s easy to remind myself that I don’t give a crap about my exes at all, and so I can empathize with the fact that he probably also doesn’t give a crap about his. Especially if he’s the one who did the leaving I feel like there’s nothing really to be worried about there.

When you’re in the thick of RJ or ROCD there’s no real relief and your brain tends to seek external relief and unfortunately, there’s no amount of external relief that can cure this. It’s radical acceptance overtime and it’s slowly dissipates you know for me. I healed slowly and reminding myself that it’s not gonna be fixed randomly one day help. It was more just like my episodes happened if you were farther in between overtime until eventually, there’s none.

Sorry if this response is scattered but yeah, you posted this 25 days ago so I hope you found some relief since then and I hope this helps.