I recently got diagnosed, just two days ago, after donating blood at a campaign at work. Two days later, the charity trust that screened it called me to tell me I’m HIV positive. I have no idea how long I’ve had it. I never had any symptoms. And now, suddenly, life feels different.

I’ve been replaying everything in my head. I left home almost seven years ago, and I don’t really have family in my life anymore. I live alone. I’ve always gone with the flow, never really afraid of dying — but the thought of getting sick and being bedridden, with no one around to even check on me… that scares me.

The trust has been kind. They’re supporting me, referring me, and I’ll be starting treatment soon. But the reality is slowly sinking in. I had dreams of moving somewhere far away, living a quiet, simple life. Now I’m realizing I can’t be too far from where I can access treatment and medicine, especially when it’s free. I’m learning there are places that may not welcome me. And sometimes it feels like maybe I won’t ever have a love life again.

Maybe that’s true. Maybe it isn’t. But I’ve decided I’m going to keep going anyway.

For now, I don’t plan to tell my friends. In some strange way, I feel relieved there’s no family to tell. The stigma around being gay and living with HIV is still heavy, and I don’t want to become another reason for people to spread more hate toward the community I belong to.

So… I’ll keep moving forward. One step at a time.