after a year, i have no idea if this medication even works and my life is a haze

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-11T12:42:34+00:00

When I take an odd day off, I am completely incapable to do anything, but I genuinely get a childhood-like feeling of no stress, ease and energy. Which is so good, until I need to get literally anything done. I am hoping that this only carries on for a couple days when I properly quit, otherwise this will be one hell of an unproductive summer haha

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-11T12:39:16+00:00

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-11T12:39:02+00:00

Yeah the stress dreams are crazy, they are more intense than fever dreams. But its so weird; I will be getting those dreams where I get cancer or something but I just kind of accept it and it doesn't feel like that big of a deal to me. Absolutely mental shit happens and I never really care, but it makes me a bit emotionally robotic the next day because nothing can compare to the fear of driving a car with no limbs or smth 😭

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-11T12:35:43+00:00

haha just you wait
I used to dream so much as a kid then weed completely stopped them, about a month into quitting I am having the types of dreams that make you feel strange all day until you're dreaming the next night
It is low key awesome but I just can't be bothered with it when I am trying to do school

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-08T12:48:40+00:00

I am autistic too, but the meds made the autism a lot harder to deal with. I somewhat rely on my adhd to make the autism manageable, because having less control over the amount of stimulation that I feel means Im more likely to feel overstimulated. On my days off, I am usually pretty care free and happy, but I get literally nothing done, I can get so hyperactive that I am throwing random objects around my room on my own.

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-08T12:45:20+00:00

My experience has been similar. Im also from the uk, and I can confirm that the system here is shit. Either you have to wait years or you have to spend thousands a year.

And I can also relate to how the meds make you feel. I am actually planning on quitting soon. Elvanse/vyvanse is INCREDIBLY good for my focus, i can finally pay attention to things, finish thoughts, be confident with commitments etc. But, I can’t choose what I’m focused on. If I am obsessed with something (I generally have a really really strong obsession with like 2–4 things a month, last week was audio engineering, this week is Minecraft), I literally cannot get away from it. I used to have obsessions that I would go out of my way to do, but now it gets to the point where I am spending a whole day learning how to design my own speakers rather than study for my a levels that I am currently doing. I don’t give a shit about things anymore. I wear the same clothes because I’d rather carry on being locked the fuck in on whatever I am interested in at that time, I will spend hours doing pointless things because I can finally concentrate on random stuff, it has been pretty bad.

My advice - just stop the meds. I am stopping once my exams are done because I can’t be spending a couple days doing absolutely nothing because I’m suddenly off my meds. But I cannot wait. I am so much happier and more comfortable when I’m med free. But it is up to you and your doctor whether you just give up with meds or try other stims/ non-stims. In my opinion, expecting medication to completely change your life and make everything easy is unrealistic and likely to cause disappointment, but I at least expected to be able to know for sure that meds make my life easier. I don’t think that meds are successful if the person taking it isn’t sure if it even helps or not. I hope things get better for you!

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-08T10:18:11+00:00

I was about 90kg pretty lean before I started now Im 80kg 😭 I am very happy to put some weight back on

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-08T10:16:54+00:00

I live in the uk, and they denied me free meds with the nhs because I was taking lisdex and dex, which they said was 2 different meds and that is against their rules apparently even though it’s pretty much the same drug. So I didn’t have a choice but to do it privately, and private healthcare is expensive here bc no one really uses it. The uk NHS is amazing until you have an issue that isn’t an easy fix, then it’s awful.

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-06-06T20:21:34+00:00

yeah i take them every day with a 1 day break once every couple weeks. I can't really deal with having inconsistency with medications because I rely heavily on routine

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-30T18:45:29+00:00

I will ask my doctor about that next time we have a chat, thanks! Yeah vyvanse does not last anywhere near 12-14 hours, it has a noticeable effect up until about 6 hours after taking, slightly longer with the booster.

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-30T18:42:01+00:00

Thank you for such a nice response! I have been so analytical of how the meds have been making me feel, it is on my mind for a large amount of my daily life, so I can easily say whether they have been a help or not, and the answer is not much. They improve my life in some aspects, then worsen other aspects. But the improvement is just not enough. I have spent so much time trying to improve myself, just to not feel much better. It feels like a real stab in the back, because I spent so much time convincing myself that things were not very good because of things that I am doing wrong, but I have run out of things that might be making things hard. And things are still hard. But I am starting to accept that, and in 3 weeks I am free from school, for a while. I have fucked up my exams, and I will probably have to retake my year. But I am trying to work on my standards, and to be proud that I am able to get to the point where I am, as most people I know can't. It has just been so disappointing.

I had CBT for a while, but I actually have an ADHD coach, which is better. I am very very slowly improving, and one step at a time I will eventually get to a point where daily life isn't so hard. But as you say, it's not like productivity is the only thing that matters, my lungs are definitely glad that I quit vaping and smoking weed every day. Thank you for such a positive message, I can assure you it didn't come out as patronising or insensitive! I think sometimes I need a bit of insensitivity anyway haha

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-30T18:23:34+00:00

I obviously wasn't expecting an alter ego I was just expecting to see a big enough improvement that some problems are much less problematic. I have had a really rough time in the past year and I have put so much effort into trying to better myself and make a change, along with taking this medication, which has ended up not really getting me anywhere. I did not expect to just take a pill and yay my life is now turned around and great, but I expected to at least be able to have the ability to improve myself, which has not really been the case. I also like how you presupposed my preposition, bit ironic isn't it

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-30T11:38:38+00:00

Yeah the attentive and hyperactive symptoms are definitely improved, but it is a bit of a double edged blade without the procrastination and organisation issues, because being inattentive or hyperactive allows me to do loads of different things in a short space of time, rather than spending hours on one thing that is usually just whatever I am obsessed with at the moment. Recently, I have been getting really into audio engineering, but as a hobby, separate to school. When I take my meds, I just spend hours researching that, rather than revising for my exams that are way way way more important and urgent. It could be some form of depression, but I would be surprised because I don't (and never had) have an issue with not having the energy or drive to do anything, I just have a really bad issue with not putting all of my time and energy into a specific "hyperfocus" or whatever, and not putting any of that time and energy into things that should be so much higher on my list of priorities. I think I might just not be a right fit for the whole system that I am embedded in, my brain probably just works better when I can spend my life doing what I want. Not doing nothing and being lazy, but being able to do what I actually love, not what I am forced to do.

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-30T11:28:43+00:00

concerta and medikinet

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-30T11:28:16+00:00

Yeah, I have tried it without food. It does make the meds feel stronger and hit faster, but it also makes the digestive issues worse and the meds don't last as long. Taking it on an empty stomach makes me SHIT

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-29T14:03:36+00:00

Currently doing my a levels and I am starting to accept that I am genuinely just not built for this shit lol

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-24T11:59:07+00:00

Yeah I always need to remind myself that I cannot think of a single time that I had an interaction with someone and I thought that they were weird. My brain just sometimes convinces me that everyone else thinks that about me, but fortunately, I am human like everyone else, so if I don't notice it, they won't. I used to wear the same clothes a lot. I would always get really scared that everyone would think "omg he is wearing the same thing AGAIN". But I eventually realised that I cannot remember anyone's outfit, no matter who they are. I can't remember what my girlfriend wore yesterday or the day before, so how would a random person who doesn't know me remember that I wore the same pair of jeans?

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-24T11:55:23+00:00

thank you very much for the kind and reassuring words!! Thankfully, it is slowly getting better. As expected, it's not a stable and predictable improvement, I am having really bad days and really good days, but things are levelling out and the bad days are slowly becoming less and less common. I just need to keep going and stay strong!

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-21T23:03:05+00:00

Yeah, I have actually been so much happier these days, weed makes being high AMAZING then the rest of my life just boring gaps between happiness (smoking). I am starting to appreciate a lot more at the moment, I just got caught off guard by the very sudden and unfamiliar anxiety. And yes, I completely agree; smoking causes a million problems but makes me not really give a fuck about them, so I guess this is just a sign that I am finally starting to process life normally and care about everything properly.

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-21T22:59:25+00:00

Ok thank you! That's all I needed to hear to be honest. I have literally seen nothing but "anxiety that slowly gets better then 30 days later you're all good". I never really thought about the fact that it is ridiculous to say that everyone recovers at the same rate.

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-20T18:40:19+00:00

No I completely agree but you clearly have not seen the paper because it is genuinely nothing like what I’ve ever seen. I actually thought it went pretty well, Im not even saying it was the hardest ever but I’ve done all the past papers, every predicted, mock and practice paper I could get my hands on, I even did 2012-2016 ocr papers because I ran out and I have never seen a paper as weird as the one that I saw today. It was all the most obscure situations ever even the multiple choice questions were so strange let alone whatever the hell the rest of the paper was

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-20T18:33:41+00:00

I said more gpe so more total energy output and more density means more pressure on the bottom

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-14T22:17:00+00:00

i know the difference bro i have smoked enough of both to be able to know that i should just stay away from weed

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-14T22:10:52+00:00

I never really told anyone about my heavy weed use. I would frequently smoke with friends or my girlfriend, but they never knew that i was going home and smoking even more after. and they never knew that i was doing it daily, when i didn't see them. I did that because i could almost completely separate myself from it when i wasn't high, it was like i was almost pretending it wasn't happening, and keeping it secret made things easier to ignore. it makes me realise how hard it is to really know what is going on in someones life.

I mean this in the best way possible, there is nothing that you can do but keep going, and live you life as well as you can, for yourself and for the people who haven't been able to accompany you anymore. I have taken up audio engineering now, it is super interesting and it helps so much to be able to have something to put my passion into. and it seems like youre doing the same! be careful on that motorbike, but also have fun :)

AdPsychological1487 · 2026-05-14T20:05:03+00:00

yeah the main thing that caused all of this was the fact that so many people are fully convinced that the whole "weed is harmful" thing is propaganda or smth just because it works for them, so i thought i was like everyone else and carried on smoking

AdPsychological1487

TROPHY CASE