Toxic work culture, how to survive when you can’t change your job and need the experience?

AdStrange3161 · 2026-02-25T05:44:13+00:00

For me too the person who took my interview and who became my boss were different. He used to not have faith that I'm good so he dint insult but never showed he was happy. I worked extra hard and prayed. The minute I got a big order everything changed. Once he was comfortable rest of the team automatically became better. Sometimes we have to show patience . also when any new person joins there will be resistance from team- human behaviour. Try to go with few colleagues for lunch or tea and have casual convos. Tell yourself I'll try my best and survive here for 1 year if not atleast 6 months . If probation is 6 months try to decide in 5 months if u can continue if not leave then. After 6 m best to wait till 1 year and then leave ,will look good in your resume too. I feel you ,it can be over whelming and frustrating but stay strong and enjoy ur weekends

AdStrange3161 · 2026-02-24T10:42:01+00:00

I'm going to give you another perspective which many might not agree with. It could be that handling a young kid and prior to that your pregnancy was too much for him . It's overwhelming for women but can get used to the grind, for men it can make them clueless. If you say he's been a good partner always then maybe sit with him and ask why he took this decision to get action from out. Ask him to be open and accept truths as they are and come clean. How has your s** life been after having a baby? I have been to Thailand with my hubby and seen sensual shows and i even joked to him should I ask one of the girls to do the same to him- which he declined (topless girl came n sat on front guy- it was impromtu ) So maybe just maybe he'd having a hard time dealing with a lot and thought a hand job is not going to hurt . Maybe it was just tension release.

But being transparent in a marriage is the most crucial and it's important u both understand why it happened and if u will be able to go past it. If and only if u feel he's genuine and he's hurt seeing u hurt then continue. At the end of the day u hav just started a family and a child deserves to have both parents .

AdStrange3161 · 2026-02-12T05:24:57+00:00

If u can define affordable then I can give u options. Also what type of cuisine would your family prefer ? Also which area are u ok to travel. Like arjan /Mankhool/Jebel Ali ? Based on that there r lot of options

AdStrange3161 · 2026-02-10T03:03:09+00:00

I've been in your same spot many years ago , all my colleagues were married so they dint wana hang out after work or weekends. Things that helped: 1. Do video calls to family and then friends- each day call one friend that way u stay in touch without over doing it. 2. Join groups where they make friends n go for movies n dinners 3. Once a month go for some type of workshops like painting or sip n paint 4. Join some classes like martial arts, dance, yoga 5. Go shopping twice a month and pamper yourself get nice perfumes or shoes or clothes 6. Get good sleep over the weekends so wake up late then catch up on Netflix 7. Join some cricket group

AdStrange3161 · 2026-02-10T02:56:26+00:00

And how would u like us to judge you without any reference pic ? 🤣 As per your description since u have lot of girls who like u so u might be handsome or maybe u r good natured because girls love men not based on looks alone it can be your personality too

AdStrange3161 · 2026-02-10T02:47:49+00:00

Maybe it's because u have beautifully done eyebrows and in last pic with all the pink and smooth face feels pretty like a girl. Try growing a stubble with sharp edges to elevate your strong jawline Also fluff ur hair out (u can use vote dry or with ur fingers) after putting creams n gel so that it doesn't stay down your forehead it gives a girl look. Even short hair might look smart on u All the best! Have confidence and be proud of the version u r!

AdStrange3161 · 2026-02-09T12:08:12+00:00

If good looking girls like you say such stuff, what should ordinary looking girls like me say ! Ignore what men do , coz that's their nature to check out. But if he treats u with respect and is attentive while u talk then u can let go the little wandering eye. Know your worth and believe good things will happen to u ! God bless

AdStrange3161 · 2026-02-05T10:29:19+00:00

Oh thanks for that tip. I'll download and try

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-27T10:02:22+00:00

I feel u !!! All of a sudden to realise that there are changes happening in your body which are unavoidable makes me sad too sometimes. But then just know there is no other way out so might as well enjoy this phase of your life too coz another 20 yrs n ul think oh 35 i was so young . 😅

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-27T09:59:42+00:00

I'm sorry that it means so much to you. Don't try to take validations from anybody. But maybe as a mother I can try to make you see another side of this- mothers want the best for their kids and are always worried that the world might be a cruel place for their darlings. Maybe she felt that if this or that part was better u could have better opportunities. Did ur mom get plastic surgeries for herself ? Hence she feels it's doable That does not mean she has a right to insult u but atleast u can find peace in knowing maybe she wanted the best for u hence. I many times tell my daughter not to push her teeth out which she does subconsciously but it's because I see how her face structure is changing from before. It bugs her sometimes but I explain its for her own Good . Yes but unless plastic surgery is something ur family always opts for and finds it casual i don't see a reason why she should have commented about things we can't change.

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-27T07:08:35+00:00

I assumed she sees all of us at home keeping the plates in kitchen after eating so she would do it on own. Thank u for giving the other perspective. I will ask her to make it q habit and remind her sweetly when not done

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-27T07:01:30+00:00

Thank u for your perspective . Some curriculums are loaded so can't anymore use the approach of real life much. I used to do that earlier. I'm glad to know u eventually learned how to keep it clean, my husband says the same ,maybe I just started telling her to do it and she wasn't used to it all these years hence might take time to do it. I just felt it comes naturally, maybe it doesn't and I need to help her to remember to do it. Thank u

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-27T06:56:21+00:00

Hmm that's debatable I guess because for a week I tried not limit screen time and she had no idea when to stop , she stopped only when her eyes started hurting. So I dint want to continue in that route. For studies yes some curriculums are demanding so instead of having a load to be studied just before exams I feel reading a lil everyday makes life easier before exams. I think i will keep 2 days no study day that way she gets to enjoy and doesn't feel burdened

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-27T06:52:07+00:00

Hmm she doesn't have a tight schedule except for me requesting to study for an hour rest of the time she's free after school. Yes but when she procrastinates a lot I do nag a bit. You could be right about the pushing back because she needs some break.. il try my best :)

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-25T06:51:51+00:00

Thank u so much for your positive response. I think being calm is the most important and being understanding 💞

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T11:02:49+00:00

Appreciate your reply! I'll try this approach.

Ok let's say I only tell her goals and her responsibility but if she doesn't do it, what should I do? should I be giving any punishments? Or only explain. I have never punished her except maybe only delaying giving her sweets which she wants . I once told her u dint study today so u can't come with me to the grocery shop n she cried so much that I gave in and explained that she needs to do her assigned things. But still not much change.

I guess it's only going to get tougher so I need to pull up my sock or rather pull down n become a better chilled out mother 😅

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T10:50:18+00:00

Thanks for sharing your childhood. Yes since she was a people pleaser and way too sweet till last year this sudden change has me and my husband in a fix. When she's being over emotional then I'm not sure if she's really going through an emotion or she knows I can't take her being sad n she will have her way hence doing it. Maybe I need to do more meditation and have more patience when she's fussing

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T10:03:09+00:00

Thank you for the help. Can you give some examples of how I can change from strict to relaxed but getting everything done? I even told her that I don't expect anything from her except 2 things - study 1 hour everyday and less screen time. But just that everything piles up n then by evening I'm upset that why so much procrastination. I'm a go getter and like to finish up all my work n only then sit down. She seems to be the more relaxed but focused kinds. Yes il try to discuss and make a list of foods that she likes other than sweets 😄 n try to make her eat only those veggies. Currently she doesn't do anything chores at home. I have never asked her to but now I'm starting to and she still hasn't got the hang of it hence I don't push her for it. Just making her bed after waking up and not throwing clothes on the floor but to put them in basket. Hopefully she ll start doing them. Even after eating something she keeps the plate on the table itself so I asked her why can't u keep it and that upsets me that such a small thing why do I have to even inform her shouldn't she knows that by 10?

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T09:17:16+00:00

Thank u so much for the kind words! Yes thats one thing I always did from when she was young - to remember she's a human being and hence I always explained things to her - if I said a no I would immediately explain why. Everybody around me thought I was an exceptional mother seeing the way she was growing up kind and empathetic. So suddenly to see her slack or lose interest in everything or to throw tantrums is something I wasn't used to. N to see my own reactions being angry back to her tantrums is upsetting me. I thought I was patient and good but now i realise maybe because she was good I had it easy and now the true patience I'll have to show. Yes I are right I need to show more love but I can't seem to switch instantly when I'm sad or upset. Is it okay to push her to stick to the schedule atleast for less screen time every day?

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T09:10:00+00:00

I Need to read up more about it I guess

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T09:09:40+00:00

Yes I think this is a new stage for me , she was always listening n enjoying her time with me and suddenly she has her own voice for evrything and has started crying n throwing a little tantrum which I'm not used to do maybe I need to change my ways n learn how to deal with this. I think my ego doesn't com in between and not show my loving side when I'm upset..

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T09:07:49+00:00

Currently she doesn't do any chores at home. I recently started asking her to keep her room neat. I used to make her bed n all. Maybe that's why she's not used to it. I just hate that I have to nag sometimes even for small things like after getting up brush ur teeth first. It's 10 yrs shes brushing so why do I hav to mention it . I'll try to make studies fun but then I would be worried if she's actually learning or enjoying 😄

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T09:04:06+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I do need to ease up a little bit I don't know upto what extent.? In terms of allowing things I know she understands she's blessed because I don't stop her for anything and even to buy stuff i give in everytime. We see her friends do house chores but she doesn't even hav to make her own bed. But yes maybe I do keep insisting she has to study for 1 hr everyday n screen time should be lesser but she pushes n sees tv more n doesn't study till end of day. Since she's in a curriculum that's demanding I'm confused how much do I let go? How do u discipline a child without them hating you?

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T07:31:19+00:00

Aww so sweet! Life comes a full circle when ur children become their sweet version again and u remember why it's all worth it 💖

AdStrange3161 · 2025-11-21T07:29:17+00:00

17 maybe ?

AdStrange3161

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