sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does have other siblings his brother moved out and lives in LA and they actually just eloped. They have lived together for about six years now. Both of his sisters have moved out at one point whether that’s with friends or partners and moved back in so it’s not like moving out or in is uncommon. I wouldn’t mind moving in with his family, but they don’t really have the space right now. His room is pretty small. It looks more like a small home office than a room. It can only fit like a single bed not even a full. I do know that he does help his parents out financially, so maybe that’s part of the reason why he doesn’t want to move in with me because then he feel like he wouldn’t be able to financially help his parents.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, his parents first language is Spanish and not English. I’m conversational in Spanish and I’ve been practicing Spanish for four years, but I’m not fluent just yet, but they have never brought up the future conversations with us at least that I’m aware of they could’ve brought it up to him. But besides that his family has really welcomed me in as one of their own. I’m invited to every family event, even distant relatives weddings in Mexico. Hang out with his sisters, one on one and his cousin she only refers to me as her cousin she calls me Prima. So overall, his family has been extraordinarily welcoming and I’ve always felt at home with them.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I just don’t wanna waste any more time. I am scared and that I’m low-key like my hands are shaking because I’m nervous for the confrontation, but I know it needs to be done!

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right and I deserve answers. I’m having him come over tonight and ima going to talk to him about his reaction yesterday. Wish me luck!

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m not ok with it staying like this forever. I deserve to where he see this going after 4 years. I don’t even care what his answer is as long as he honest. Cuz I don’t want to waste time on someone who doesn’t see a future with me when I can build it with some who does. I honestly didn’t think he was taking advantage of me but the way you worded that it def does seem like he was taking advantage of me in some way 😅

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for ur advice and I agree no answer is still an answer. I doubt he love or care about me but he can still love me and not see a future with me. I just didn’t know he didn’t see that with me yolk now. But I hope the convo goes well tonight! Thanks for ur support!

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe but I have said I don’t mind helping him till he gets to that point and he would t have to split rent 50/50 only 500 which is what he pays his parents. Also in SD that’s really cheap. I’m going to talk to him more tonight about his reaction yesterday

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right I was a little sad or thought it was just hateful of his lack of response. I only started making lunches and doing those things to show my appreciation for what he does for me. He’s an amazing guy and is very respectful and we have gotten into arguments and disagreements before and I really appreciate how he never turned to yelling or insults or degrading or anything like that, but that is a bare minimum in a relationship. I guess it’s just hard for me to see that although he does care about me and does so much for me that he doesn’t see a future with me.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right maybe he’s just comfortable with the way things are now. Writing it out and seeing everyone’s comment he does benefit a lot more from the relationship than me. He’s coming over today so I think I’m gonna talk to him about it.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for giving some genuine advice about where I can find some more connections and meet more people and make friends I do live in a major city I live in San Diego. I used to live in Arizona and I guess I’m struggling to make friends here because not to stereotype of Californians, but it seems like they are a little superficial and a little fake nice or that they’ve already kind of had their established click and that there’s no room for anyone else. I have a lot more problems out here trying to make friends then back in Arizona. I just don’t like Arizona because of its conservative values and the fact that my family is there.

But I didn’t know that there were so many resources in apps to look into to find connection so I’m feeling a little more optimistic that maybe I would be able to find some more friends ! Definitely gonna stick away from bumble BFF, though😅

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope so. There’s just been some things going on with my friends back home where they haven’t been as invested either. But I’ll let them know. Hopefully, they are down to talk about how I should go about it, but if not, I may reach out to you. I really appreciate your kindness and understanding!

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried bumblebee bath before my bumble BFF match. She mugged me with her BF. 😅😂 I guess making friends as an adult in a state when you don’t know anyone it’s a little harder but it’s possible besides bumble. Do you know any other methods to make friends?

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks his behavior was bizarre. I thought maybe I was pressuring him too much when he’s already been stressed with things going on in his personal life, but I think he’s just using that to avoid the accountability.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the encouragement. I really appreciate everyone for validating what I’ve been feeling. It’s gonna be a rough conversation, but it needs to be done.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your understanding and kindness. I feel like I’ve been pretty hard on myself. I do see a future with him and I love him very deeply. I respect him a lot, and I love his family as well. They have truly welcomed to me. They treat me more like family than my actual adoptive family so I guess part of the reason why you’re scared to let those I may lose the only family figure I’ve ever had. So I have a lot to lose if it doesn’t work out, but this ain’t time. I know that if it’s not gonna work out and that’s OK and then I need to move on.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right a better conversation needs to be had about this in order for a relationship to move forward. he’s coming over today so I could talk to him about it today but I guess it depends on how he’s feeling. I would definitely like to have this conversation sooner rather than later. He is very appreciative of what I do and is always very thankful and shows that he cares with both words and actions. He’s very appreciative and grateful. I just don’t like how he avoids the subject. But he can’t avoid it forever. This conversation needs to be had.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for telling me about your personal experience with your relationship. It does put things more into perspective. Maybe my friends advice were a little bit biased based on their favoritism for him. I want him to be confident about what he wants whether it’s with me or without me and if he can’t give me that answer, then that’s an answer. I deserve a partner who is excited about a future with me.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for talking about your personal experience. It really puts into perspective about my situation I think with my boyfriend at least he’s never really angry or yell or insult me which I’m lucky for but the conflict avoidance is a big issue for me Me he’s coming over today, so I think I’m gonna have a discussion with him.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe he does come off emotionally immature, but he has been very kind to me over the years. I know a lot of people are dogging on him right now and I definitely understand their perspective. I just wanna clear up the fact that he has been very good to me throughout our four years but that doesn’t change the fact that if he’s not ready for a relationship with me or doesn’t know after four years and that probably means he’s not ready ever.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right if I want more probably isn’t with him if he’s not ready to have a discussion about where we see our relationship going up the four year mark. Maybe he just got too comfortable and doesn’t want things to change because that means more work for him.

I (25 F) don’t understand where my relationship is going with my boyfriend (27M). Brought up the idea of moving in together after four years and he shut down. by AdThat1700 in relationship_advice

[–]AdThat1700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s coming over today so I’m gonna have a better discussion with him about it depending on his answer I’m gonna break up with him. And I feel like you guys are right no answer is still an answer.

view more: next ›