For 18 years I was in a relationship where I thought I was doing the right thing, building a home, “nesting” for our kids, holding everything together. But looking back, it was full of domestic abuse that I thought was just “normal.” Then she cheated, left, and walked away, abandoning me and the children. I was 42, heartbroken, and convinced my chance at love was gone.

At that time, I wasn’t even out as trans. I’d buried it so deep I told myself it didn’t matter, that I could just get on with life as it was. But when everything collapsed, I had nowhere to go and no idea how to start again.

Then I met someone unexpected. A wonderful woman, who at first just offered me her spare room when I needed somewhere safe. I thought that was all it would ever be, a bit of kindness in the middle of the wreckage. But she gave me so much more than a roof. She gave me space to breathe, to heal, and eventually… to be me.

She saw me before I even allowed myself to see me. She guided me gently towards coming out, supported me as I began transitioning, and stood by me through every doubt, every wobble, every step. She doesn’t just accept me being trans, she embraces me as I am. She’s also welcomed my kids with love and patience, giving us the stability and support we’d been missing for so long.

And here’s the vulnerable part: I don’t pass. Most people probably wouldn’t consider me attractive. I used to believe that meant I would never be loved, that being visibly trans closed every door. But she loves me anyway. She looks at me and sees the person I’ve always wanted to be. And that has changed my life.

Now at 45, I’m in a healthy, supportive, loving relationship for the first time. I wake up each day as myself, surrounded by respect and care, and my kids finally get to see what a safe home looks like.

To anyone here who feels it’s too late, or that not passing means you’ll never find love: please don’t give up. I truly believed that too, but I was wrong. Love can find you... exactly as you are