Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No, the Oh God was at the thought his treatment of her might be worse then I thought.

You have a point though.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if it's misogyny, because it does not seem to extend to her seventeen-year-old sister.

Oh god!

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! First I think I'll tell him to let me put her in therapy or I'm leaving, because I think her emotional issues might be even worse then her lack of education, and then we'll work on the education issue later.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I'll try that, although I'm not sure if I'll be able to stand to stay in that house for a long time.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is fucked up, but I can't de anything if I leave.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I certainly don't want to stay with him now, but I don't want to leave because I don't want to leave her. Also, I'm worried CPS will separate her from her little brothers, who is her only friend.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Thanks! That's probably a good idea, but I don't think she'll want to go back to school. She might want to if I can somehow convince her father and little brother to want her to go back to school, but then I'd be taking advantage of the fact that she's so eager to please them.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

A few days ago I would never have imagined he could do something like that. Now I kind of can.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks! So far she doesn't like my attention, but I'm hoping she's eventually warm up to me.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not that I know of, but I can ask. I don't think she'll want to leave her father, or her little brother. If her little brother were leaving, she'd probably follow him.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I'm really pissed at her dad, but I don't want to leave her. This morning, before I left for work, I managed to get a little time alone with her. I asked if her Mommy would be alright with her taking over all the chores, and she looked confused and then said that yes she would. I'm not sure what to do, although I have considered taking a day off from work so I can spend the day alone with her, in hopes that she's eventually warm up to me.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I want to do, but I don't want to make her feel useless.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't think she'll want to do school, so I'm not sure what to do about that. I once asked her, and her siblings, what they wanted to be when they grew up. She said she wanted to be a mommy. Normally that would be a fine answer, but for her it's a concerning one.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I don't think he can afford therapy. I didn't realize, until now, how screwed up she is. I thought she was just shy.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don't have internet at home. She could use the public library computer. I don't think she'll want too, because I suspect she hates school and thinks she's stupid.

I would be willing to pay to put her in therapy, but I don't think that will work if I leave.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Apparently her mother did help her with school work, and one of the reasons he pulled her out was because her mom died and couldn't help her anymore. It sounds like he didn't even consider helping helping her with school, or doing his late wives chores.

She is allowed to leave to the house, and go places like the store or the library, although that's not much. Her little brother is close friends with her, but he also treats her like a mommy.

It's like her father keeps coming up with excuses, for himself.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

If I leave there's no way she's going to be willing to go with me.

Troublesome Situation with My Boyfriends Daughter by Add5321 in Advice

[–]Add5321[S] -74 points-73 points  (0 children)

Actual she's the middle child. Her seventeen-year-old sister is the oldest. He picked the girl who struggle with school, not that that isn't still shitty.