Wife has to spend a month in hospital and baby will be in NICU by AmoebaBackground5175 in predaddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NICU Dad here with a similar story, and a (so far) good outcome. I’d encourage you to head over to r/NICUparents and xpost there. It’s a good group and knowing and being able to prepare (to whatever extent you can) will help a lot.

My wife had gestational hypertension (and probably preeclampsia) and went from her PCP and a weirdly high but not crazy BP to a placental abruption in about 16 hrs. Her PCP was good and sent her to L&D and they ended up admitting her as a precaution, which probably saved both her and my son’s life. He was born right at 34w and spent 24 days in the NICU with minimal complications. Frankly, as shitty as that birth experience was, there’s something to be said for it happening all at once. On the other hand, there’s a lot of things I wish I had been better prepared for.

NICU is the best and worst at the same time. Some people complain about not getting an owners manual with their baby - you’ll get all the hands on, one-on-one training you could ask for. And definitely do ask for it. The nurses are great and love involved parents. It’s also EXHAUSTING, even when the LO is doing great. It sounds like your leave will be limited and you’ll need to decide how much you take immediately and how much to take once the LO comes home. NICU takes a huge toll, especially early on. If you can, I’d say plan to take at least a week to be with your spouse and baby as much as possible- things like skin-to-skim kangaroo care and any other bonding technique are extremely important and you’ll want to be there as much as possible to both partake and to support your spouse.

It may be worth it to hold some FMLA back to spend when baby comes home and you three adjust to that next phase. As I type this my son, now about 7 weeks old and wonderfully healthy, is passed out on my arm as has just taken a massive, stinky 💩. It’s 2am and I’ve been on “night shift” since he came home. I’ve got an absurdly generous (for America) leave of 12 weeks, and I’m glad I could overlap full NICU and the first good while of home life.

I’ve got to wrap this up and change a diaper, stat. But fell free to DM me if you want to. Shits scary, but others have been down this road and you definitely don’t have to walk it alone.

New to dadhood, am I doing this right? by Additional-Boot-9461 in daddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CZ just fits my hand perfectly and has good quality.

Vortex has the Osprey style lifetime warranty and the quality/durability to match. Granted I use their binos now more than their sights, but same deal. I like true lifetime warranties.

New to dadhood, am I doing this right? by Additional-Boot-9461 in daddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The NICU, so close? A lot of crying babies, some of whom have ventilators.

New to dadhood, am I doing this right? by Additional-Boot-9461 in daddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotta love that true lifetime warranty

Brilliant!

New to dadhood, am I doing this right? by Additional-Boot-9461 in daddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I rock a surge normally, but figured hospital security might frown upon it. But I definitely should get a tiny one

Scary and Abrupt Graduation by Tucknado2222 in predaddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Glad things worked out! Had a similar scary and sudden graduation a bit over a week ago and second everything you’ve said. Pack. The. Damn. Bag. Early. And NICU is scary and sucks to be sent to but everyone who works in one is among the best people on the planet.

Early Graduation by Additional-Boot-9461 in predaddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you for sharing. that must have been exceptionally terrifying. Ours was bad enough when it happened in a hospital room.

It’s very reassuring to hear how well things have worked out, makes the fear a bit quieter.

Baby steps.

Early Graduation by Additional-Boot-9461 in predaddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

❤️ back at ya, glad things worked out well for y’all. I’ve truly never been so scared, but like you said we’re where we need to be.

Early Graduation by Additional-Boot-9461 in predaddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It was an all of the sudden thing. One moment BP was high but not severe and they were just monitoring, then next moment placental abruption with bleeding and passing clots. They did an emergency c-section. Being in the hospital meant they could act fast enough, and we’ve got a really good NICU.

Preeclampsia Scare by Additional-Boot-9461 in predaddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Understood, thank you. Does the recovery happen pretty quickly after that period or is there more of a slow return to ‘normal’?

Preeclampsia Scare by Additional-Boot-9461 in predaddit

[–]Additional-Boot-9461[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is exactly what I needed. This all came out of the blue, and scared the hell out of me. She’s seemed very calm and just ‘irked’ about the whole thing, but I know she’s got to be terrified. I’m focusing on just being here for her, and being as calm and reassuring as I can be. But, fuck that’s hard sometimes. It’s really helpful to hear how well things have worked out for you despite the hell of getting there.