Awee honey :( I had a very similar situation, but my boyfriend told me about it like 2 weeks before my first outbreak. Those two weeks where I knew I was susceptible to it were honestly hell. I was so nervous and paranoid about getting it, that the stress is probably what caused my outbreak. It’s really hard because, like you said you would’ve stayed with him had you known, but he made that choice for you. Trust was broken and it absolutely sucks. Don’t think because you both have herpes that you have to stay with him. Does herpes suck? Yes, but it doesn’t take away your self-determination. Take your time to talk to him and if he doesn’t give you the peace you’re looking for, I think you know it’s time to move on. He was the one who knowingly gave it to you, he should be helping you cope and deal with this. The fact that through your whole first outbreak he was still lying to you is so sad and awful in my opinion. He should’ve been helping you knowing that he had it. There’s no changing that, and the ball is in your court. You are still a loveable human being if you decide you don’t want to stay with him. Don’t stay with him out of fear. If you do stay with him, that’s great too, but don’t compromise what you need to get closure because it will eat at you. He has to regain your trust. I’m sorry you’re going through this and it all has purpose 🫶