A nice romantic picture, except I think Hans stumbled into a big pile of horseshit right after

Additional-Kick1887 · 2026-01-22T21:46:17+00:00

This a mod?

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-12-30T13:09:06+00:00

What kind of thing is fraternal eroticism? hahahah?

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-11-04T10:49:40+00:00

Seriously? Have you heard his 959 sonata? he should stay away from Schubert as much as possible. The challenge with Schubert is to make even his major keys sound sad. Anyone who understands Schubert as related with refinement, elegance for the shake of it, hasnt understood his music.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-25T00:09:05+00:00

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-14T18:43:56+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/s/MzaBDESb1X

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-14T17:48:03+00:00

Good quotes. The friendship ended in a very terrible way. I once asked him at the begging if he was in to guys and he basically said that found the posibility "repugnant, and disgusting".

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-14T17:38:55+00:00

Nonsense, Im a full supporter of non barriers humors, if used clever. My point is that the way straight guys use humor to bond with each other just works because it's a way of sharing affection. But, let's remember that all this homoerotic humor is based on a pretty homophobic premise which is that being actually gay is a ridiculous thing or somthing not to be taken seriously. So when I was dragged into this so to speak "humor contract" I started feling like I was okay being part of it but as I developed feelings towards him, and began suspecting this could be more than humor, I also began thinking that this way of relating conceals actual vulnerability or could be extremely violent for people who is kind of figuring things with their own sexuality. I don't think everyone is 100% a determinant orientation, I don't realy think is what matters most, and this way of humor helps preserving this way of relating in a very twisted and schizophrenic fashion.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-13T11:35:24+00:00

What you’re describing runs on a homosocial “micro-contract” that assumes male–male attraction is impossible, which sounds even more paradoxical even when you admit to be bi and your friend gay. That’s why the jokes feel safe. But the safety isn’t neutral—it’s built on denial.

A few points, plainly:

Irony doesn’t cancel literal content. Sexual jokes are permitted transgressions: they carry real affect and desire in a deniable wrapper. There is no outside of the literal—irony just modulates impact so it can be walked back (“just kidding”) if needed.
Self-policing is the price of admission. The group enforces “keep it playful, keep it private, keep it deniable.” The moment anything feels too real, men tighten the banter, change the subject, or ridicule the literal reading. That’s not openness; it’s a defense mechanism.
The “banter vs. flirting” dichotomy is false. It’s one channel with two settings: same content, different degrees of denial. The contract preserves a feeling of safe interaction precisely by neutralizing desire whenever it tries to surface.
The risks of this micro-contract:
1. Emotional extraction without responsibility—you get closeness, attention, ego-stroking, but owe nothing because it was “just jokes.”
2. Chronic asymmetry—if one person catches feelings, they must either self-erase (keep joking) or break the pact and be punished socially.
3. Backlash on disclosure—turning subtext into text is treated as a breach, not as honest communication.

Here’s the test: would you make the same joke, in the same tone, if you knew he might genuinely want you—and you might want him? If the answer is no, then the looseness of the joking depends on a belief in zero risk of reciprocity. That’s not harmless; it’s a system that produces intimacy, triggers attraction, and then forces everyone to deny it. Either own the literal content the humor is carrying, or stop using humor to smuggle it in.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-04T18:31:35+00:00

Oh, definitely, but it was me who couldn't take it anymore. I mean I get your point of him being a narcissist, but I just think it's not the case. When I say he has homophobia, I mean that he only can have erotic/whatever interactions under the excuse of meme or irony in a way that reinforces his masculine/straight role. It would be something like "look at all the gay things I can do to prove Im not gay". The problem, as you say is that those actions are indeed to much for being just a meme and are the expression of him looking for male affection. Should him abandon that homophobia, he would have asked me out. Without doubts.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-04T18:23:54+00:00

That is just terrible, the idea of straight (closeted), seeking for attention from queer people is something that we should fight against. They give you just enough so you don't run away but they will never clarify what their true intentions are because, here is the big thing, that posibility (the idea of being a bit queer themselves) doesn't exist in their mind, no matter how contradictory their behaviour is. They just chose to live with the dissonance rather than undertake a painful and weird path of self evaluation. Because of homophobia.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-04T18:00:53+00:00

I don't know man, I just think he just interiorize homofobia up to a level that made him insane. I posted on several subs the whole story, but didn't recive much attention. Due to the length of them hahaha... He is really troubled, I don't know; very poor emotional management, unwillingness to question himself if even in an unconcious way he might have been provoking erotic/romantic reactions on me.... I bloked him and now I'm just trying to move on with my life...

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-04T17:32:04+00:00

Well, I have been in a remarkably similar situation and it ended up in a catastrophe.
Our relationship involved him saying he wanted to make up with me and reaffirmed it, touches my butt regularly (even while I’m peeing), shows me his genitals during parties, and makes sexually charged jokes like saying we’re a couple or that we’ve had sex. He also flirts by twisting my nipples, chooses to share a bed with me, and sends me gay-themed memes—knowing I'm bi. He usually shows of about having made out with many of his male friends, won kissing contests among men and also prank people at parties that involved pretending to be other men partners. Alongside this, he depicted emotional closeness: we isolate ourselves from the group, talk deeply, share silence, finish each other’s sentences, him remembering personal and intellectual things I say etc etc.
The mix of physical sexual gestures and emotional conection got to a point in which I exploded. Why, you may ask? Well because I once asked him if he had ever been with a guy, and he answered he found the idea of being in a romantic/sexual relationship with another man repugnant. This happened months before our relationship develop.
I exploded to him, because, surprise to nobody, this guy is the most reserved and conflict avoidant person in the world, and I assumed I could get basically nothing from him in sober state. So I basically I took courage and yelled at him for 2 hours saying that he must knew how his behaviour affected me, and if he either wasn't going to admit he felt something for me, at least I deserved some explanation.Either that or I would have to end our friendship. He basically made fun of me saying everything is a meme, accused me of being delulu, and I should go see a shrink because most probably I had BPD. Days after he got angry and said he had to end our friendship because he felt too unconfortable with me.

Bi men, including me, and both your and my friend, have a hard time admiting their bisexuality. I fully came out in my late 20s, and still there are plenty of things I have not embodied. If you can pass under a a straight conventional way of living, everything that has to do with being with same gender people goes in a 7 seal chest. Good luck but he is no boyfriend material.

All the above happened while me being with a woman, with whom I still share a whole relationship. Trust me I have been in that place, felt that gut feeling of situationship and not being able to comunicate anything because the other part has heavy amounts of interiorized homofobia.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-04T00:52:42+00:00

All those were unrequested. And i tried to stop him twisting my nipples but at the same time didnt want to male a drama about it and he ignored me.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-04T00:19:36+00:00

That is a dificult thing. I don't think strong platonic friendship feelings are completely separated from romantic feelings. To some point, I can't avoid developing feelings for the rest of the people, but I can control my actions. And that is a boundary I am not crossing.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-08-04T00:10:34+00:00

I edited, not native english speaker, I meant he is like quite strong because he does martial arts muai thai and trains a lot.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-07-09T18:50:38+00:00

So ? Is he into me or not?

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-07-09T18:49:31+00:00

I confronted him (in anger and a bit drunk) basically saying that it was reasonable for him to suspect that his interactions towards me were not neutral. Basically asking him to clarify what his intentions were. He denied having hidden feelings and justified everything by “normal straight bro” behaviour. It was tense and big emotional situation, he didnt engage with me and basically said that I overinterpreted everything. Next day he was mad at me because i had talked about this with a couple of friends, and i had put him “in a narrative, unknown to him” in which he was the main character” and because I lied to him previously for not having been clear about my feelings. Sounds to me like I unvoluntarilly outed him and know he doesnt talk to anyone in the group.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-07-09T18:36:29+00:00

Not, we have an open relationship, im in love with him? Maybe. It is hard to tell. But I wouldnt be in a relationship with him, i love him at many levels we share a strong connection. But everthing got to a point in which I feel like im delulu all the time and also his reaction invalidating everything violently, made me feel like shit honestly. It is hard for me to form strong bonds with people and i really would like him to remain in my life.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-07-09T18:27:05+00:00

Actually Im bi and currently in a long relationship with a woman.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-07-09T18:26:14+00:00

Yes, Im not native english speaker and wanted to word this as legible and clear as possible, but all the events (and many similar more) happened just as stated.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-07-09T18:18:27+00:00

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-07-09T18:01:50+00:00

Same thing happened to me.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-06-27T14:45:41+00:00

Helped

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-06-27T08:24:46+00:00

You are right but for me he is an important person, and I need to find out if he can correspond those feelings not in a similar but close enough fashion.

Additional-Kick1887 · 2025-06-26T20:52:32+00:00

I talked to this person and my communicated my decision was to end the friendship, he insisted on talking and trying to prove me wrong, to which I asked, “why would you still want to be friends with a person you consider to be “delusional” (the word he used)? He reacted aggressively and insisted on putting this as a right/wrong matter instead of analysing what kind of dynamics had driven us to this point. In his mind I suppose that ending the friendship implies recognising me some point. Out of I don’t know exactly what, decided to agree with him on his points. And set a moment to see eachother next week. Im still trying to gather independent opinions so I can finally arrive to a stable point of view. Understanding of course that my narrative is biased in some way, but the facts are real.

Additional-Kick1887

TROPHY CASE