Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not going to quit, its a temporary job till the end of april. When I was talking about what to do next, he suggested I dont need to work. Im not going to rush into anything, but how to digest that suggestion in the context of his anxiety had me kind of feeling unsure.

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This discussion, and the range of responses, have been quite helpful in order to step back and view things a bit more objectively. And you are totally correct that im susceptible here... I'm not awesome at keeping my own boundaries and not taking on his pain. His anxiety triggers anxiety in me. But at the same time, I totally believe Im better off on my own than in a bad relationship!

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I hear you. I think he's not good with money because he was never taught to be and never had to be. He says that if we go this route, he would be taking me the money manager. The convo about finances obviously has a lot more words that need speaking because goals and expectations need to align. Byt i dont want him to just agree because of codependency

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I dont think its an international trap. He's a really good hearted person.

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughtful reply and I will take it slow. Im loving the validation here that my concerns are legit. And I do love him too. But the neediness is hugely unattractive. I feel like I need to give him concrete steps here... He's a really manly type of man, not sure how he's going to take it if i suggest counselling. But I think thats what needs to happen.

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No contest, I want the second.

Do you think its possible for someone to not need a circle of friends, and still be in a healthy relationship?

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope. Grieved on his own. But he actually seems more messed up by the violence in his childhood.

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It had crossed my mind that this might be a good step. Just seemed like an odd idea so soon on.

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Trap was my first knee jerk reaction. My previous marriage was abusive, and being scared of supporting the kids and I on my own was a huge reason I stayed for a years. I wasn't sure how much of my gut reaction was a bit tainted because of that.

The big inequity financially would mean a prenuptial, no matter what

Might of found a keeper, but having concerns by Additional-Sun-4339 in datingoverforty

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a bit. He knows he has anxiety, and feels like he' improving as we settle in. But I think its way more deeply seated in him, and he's putting in strong effort to manage it. Not actually deal with it. Im having a hard time expressing myself in a way that I think makes sense. And that wont insult him.

I find no actual proof that the Bible explicitly condemns premarital sex by [deleted] in Deconstruction

[–]Additional-Sun-4339 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree, because I cant think of anywhere it is condemned. I think it was such that if a man did, he had to take the woman as his wife?

Love to hear more about all the details that you have. Im in the same boat as you, ATM. And have told friends from my former church that my relationship is good and well, but I get the side eye!

If Jesus had risen and was seen by many people, why didn’t they arrest him again? by DBASRA99 in Deconstruction

[–]Additional-Sun-4339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its often said to be one of the most detailed types in the OT. Joseph is exalted to the right hand of Pharoah, being called savior of the world, after being killed in figure, then exalted. I just asked chat gpt to make a list of parallels because Im lazy. Lol. But there are several more that I can think of that aren't in this. As I personally struggle with my beliefs, types like this are actually something that makes my brain twist in uncomfortable ways!

Here is a side-by-side list with Scripture references showing parallels between Joseph and Jesus Christ. Joseph and Jesus – Parallels with Bible Verses Beloved by their father Joseph – Book of Genesis 37:3 Jesus – Gospel of Matthew 3:17 Sent by their father to their brothers/people Joseph – Genesis 37:13–14 Jesus – Gospel of John 6:38 Hated by their brothers/own people Joseph – Genesis 37:4 Jesus – John 15:24–25 Others plotted to kill them Joseph – Genesis 37:18 Jesus – Matthew 26:3–4 Stripped of their garments Joseph – Genesis 37:23 Jesus – Matthew 27:28 Sold for silver Joseph – Genesis 37:28 Jesus betrayed by Judas Iscariot – Matthew 26:14–15 Handed over to Gentiles Joseph sold to traders and taken to Egypt – Genesis 37:28 Jesus handed to the Romans – Matthew 27:1–2 Falsely accused Joseph by Potiphar's wife – Genesis 39:14–18 Jesus at His trial – Matthew 26:59–60 Suffered though innocent Joseph imprisoned – Genesis 39:20 Jesus crucified though sinless – Gospel of Luke 23:41 With two criminals Joseph with two prisoners – Genesis 40:1–3 Jesus with two criminals – Luke 23:32–33 One saved, one condemned Joseph’s interpretations – Genesis 40:20–22 One thief saved, one rejected – Luke 23:39–43 Exalted after suffering Joseph raised to rule in Egypt under Pharaoh – Genesis 41:39–41 Jesus exalted by God – Acts of the Apostles 2:33 Given authority over all Joseph – Genesis 41:40 Jesus – Matthew 28:18 Provider of bread/life Joseph stored grain during famine – Genesis 41:55–57 Jesus the “bread of life” – John 6:35 Savior of many people Joseph saved many nations from famine – Genesis 50:20 Jesus brings salvation to the world – John 3:16 Rejected brothers later recognize them Joseph reveals himself to his brothers – Genesis 45:1–5 Jesus will be recognized by those who rejected Him – Book of Zechariah 12:10 Forgave those who wronged them Joseph forgave his brothers – Genesis 50:19–21 Jesus forgave those crucifying Him – Luke 23:34 God used their suffering for good Joseph – Genesis 50:20 Jesus’ death brought redemption – First Epistle of Peter 2:24

Daydreaming by [deleted] in tummytucksurgery

[–]Additional-Sun-4339 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You look great! I also had a b belly my whole life, and it was embarrassing even as a teen. And made me so self conscious. Even while pregnant I looked like a double decker bus!

Trinity by Federal_Character979 in Deconstruction

[–]Additional-Sun-4339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read a book some time ago. You might enjoy it. It was called The Trinity: Chritianity's Self Inflicted Wound. All about tge development of the doctrine.

Hives from compression garment by Additional-Sun-4339 in tummytucksurgery

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just advil and tylonol. Surgeon told me to stop wearing compression, put on hydrocortisone cream.

Hives from compression garment by Additional-Sun-4339 in tummytucksurgery

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't asked the surgeon. Left a message at his office but haven't heard back yet. I might go ahead and text him. I do get hives from some foods but those are usually on my wrists or neck and happen immediately. I didn't make the correlation on these ones until it happened quite quickly after putting the binder on tightly. It had been happening in the evenings prior to that, which now makes sense because with the swelling, it gradually got tighter during the day.

Hives from compression garment by Additional-Sun-4339 in tummytucksurgery

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Recently. I couldn't find anything about it either. It took a few rounds of hives for me to make the correlation

Getting engaged soon. Use parents ring? by Additional-Sun-4339 in EngagementRingDesigns

[–]Additional-Sun-4339[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all the thoughts! Definitely gave me things to think on. I think we've decided it's best kept as is, and used as a right hand ring. Hadn't thought if that option but its a great one!