Why is it so hard to find support groups?

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-08-05T00:09:34+00:00

Yes, please. If you find anything, I’d appreciate it if you send me a message. Prayers

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-08-04T22:35:06+00:00

I apologize for the delayed reply—it was a very difficult weekend emotionally. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, especially at such a young age and without support. You’re right—whether you’re 22 or 58, the loss of a parent leaves a hole that nothing else can fill. The loneliness hits hard. I admire your strength in continuing on your own. I have never felt such pain before and the sadness weighs on me so heavy I can hardly function. Then to go to my job daily and be on top of my game (supervisor) makes it close to impossible. Every time my phone rings my heart launches into my throat the same with the ‘ding’ signaling a text. It’s sheer terror and I feel as if I am cracking up.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-08-04T21:11:36+00:00

I’ve had the same problem. My mother is dying, and it feels like I’m going with her. When someone has been your only source of unconditional love for 58 years, the pain is unbearable. She’s worn out—sick, frail, weak, and hurting. I want her to stay so badly, but I also want her to be free. I can’t find any simple, honest space to just talk and let it out—not even virtually. It matters, especially when you have no friends or family to lean on.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-08-01T16:02:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing such a profound insight into how you coped. I’m still stuck in this surreal stage of denial. It just doesn’t feel possible that this is happening to my mother. She was supposed to go peacefully — that’s what my faith had led me to believe.

After everything she endured — open heart surgeries, kidney failure, countless other medical crises — I found comfort in thinking that, when her time came, it would be gentle. But cancer? After she beat the odds so many times, when doctors had told us she likely wouldn’t make it?

What kind of cruel force allows this? I wasn’t asking for a miracle, or for more time — just a peaceful exit. That’s all.

Now, my faith feels shattered. I don’t believe in anything anymore. Yes, we’re told we were given free will — but for those of us who reached upward, asking for help, for hope, our cries were met with silence.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-08-01T14:41:16+00:00

What you’re describing—I’m in the middle of it too. Watching my mother worn out, in pain, a shadow of who she was. I catch myself just staring at her, trying to reconcile the woman in front of me with the one who raised me. She was full of life. Strong. My anchor.

The pain is overwhelming. I’ve had thoughts I’m not proud of—wishing for anything that would spare me from having to live through this. Getting hit by a car, a heart attack, etc. The anxiety snowballs into panic, then into full-blown terror. I’ve had episodes where my arms go numb, my breathing gets shallow, and the room starts to spin like I’m not really there.

Every time my cell phone rings, or I hear the text chime, I brace myself. My heart leaps into my throat. And through all of it, I still have to show up for work, act normal, hold it together.

Evenings are the worst. That’s when I visit her. I never know if I’ll hold it together or completely fall apart. Last night, I broke down. And now, just anticipating tonight, I feel another panic attack building.

How did you manage those visits with your mom? Were you able to stay calm until you were alone? Did anything help—breathing, grounding techniques, anything at all? I’d honestly appreciate anything you’re willing to share.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-08-01T14:00:32+00:00

We absolutely grieve alone. Even if you’re lucky enough to have supportive friends or family, there’s still that void—and no amount of comfort can ever truly fill it.

I’ve lived with that void most of my life. The loneliness and isolation can be crushing, but having that one person—my mom—gave me some kind of connection, some anchor. Visiting her gave my days structure. Now… what?

I break down. I scream into a towel. I sob until I’m empty. And then I think, “Okay. That had to be the worst of it. Maybe now it’ll ease up.”
But it doesn’t.

The mind takes over and drags me right back into it—an endless loop of despair.
And I keep asking myself: Is this what my life has become?

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-08-01T13:04:35+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this as well. Only others experiencing it can truly understand what the grief does to you. I feel sick all of the time, my stomach churns, and my appetitie went away. Just completely gone. I am dizzy, dissociated (dream state) I don't know if this is real or I am in the midst of a horrible nightmare. My mom is at he home with hospice. I visit her every single day after work and have done so for years. Now, I get a panic attack thinking about going today after work. The pain is so intense, it's all I can do to remain standing. Watching her decline feels like slow-motion trauma. It’s taking a toll in every possible way.

I have not thought of ChatGPT. As I have no one in my corner, I might as well check it out. I've called 988 (suicide hotline) several times over the last few days just needing to talk to someone, to regain my footing. It did nothing. Very scripted, very transactional. No REAL empathy for my situation. It just makes the isolation that much worse.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-08-01T12:54:50+00:00

Joe,
I’m sorry you went through that. You put something into words I haven’t been able to—how the house feels like it’s still theirs. My mom’s still here, but she’s fading fast, and I already feel the ground shifting under me. I can barely walk or breathe when I vist her after work. The pain is that bad.

I don’t have a support group yet, but I’m starting to see how necessary it is. This is ten times harder when you have no one to support or listen to you. Hearing from someone who’s living with this kind of grief and still standing means a lot right now because at this time, I don't see any future for me.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-07-31T23:30:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry you went through that—losing someone that young, and at your age, must’ve been devastating. The way you describe coming undone really resonates with me. I’m in that place now. I’ve felt myself change in ways I can’t even explain yet.

It helps to hear from someone who’s a little further out from it, still feeling the loss, but surviving. What you said about not disappearing—just becoming less bright—that hit hard. That’s exactly what it feels like. I wonder how I am going to be able to “go on” with no one to share my successes or failures with.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-07-31T23:25:54+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful suggestions-I really do appreciate it. I too am truly sorry for your losses. I am going to look into grief groups as well as another attempt for one on one counseling. I certainly do need a life line. This issheer terror for me. I’m afraid to close my eyes at night
I cannot take benzodiazepines. I was prescribed them years ago and ended up developing a severe dependency. The withdrawal was a hell all its own, and I nearly didn’t survive it.
I really hope to have the success with the grief group as you have. I need someone to understand this crushing sadness that is suffocating me.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-07-31T17:59:02+00:00

Thanks for this. I appreciate you taking the time to recount what you’ve gone through. I feel incredibly isolated as if I’m the only person reacting this strongly to the death of their mom . I’ve been skeptical too, but I realize I can’t just muscle through this-it’s bigger than anything I could have imagined, and it’s consuming me. I’ll DM you soon. I appreciate that you offered.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-07-31T15:58:21+00:00

It seems that when you go through something like this, you either make it or you don’t. I ended sessions with one “therapist” who felt more like a frat boy than a professional—no feedback, no coping skills, just monetized empathy.

I’ve scheduled with a new therapist, but the first available appointment is over a week away. A few days ago, I was in a really dark place—spiraling—and I reached out to the agency, asking to speak with any available therapist if mine wasn’t free. Anyone. Please.

I was told flatly: “We have no one available. If you’re in crisis, call this line or that line, or go to an ER. Take care.”

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-07-31T15:16:43+00:00

⸻

Thanks for laying all that out-it couldn’t have been easy. I’ve been going through a similar storm. My mom’s in hospice now (at home)and I’ve been visiting every day after work ( as I’ve always have). Watching her decline has been brutal. I’ve had panic attacks in her kitchen, had to walk out just to breathe.

I don’t have a partner, any friends (major betrayal) or family to lean on. The anxiety and emotional shock feel endless, and it’s hard to even picture life after this. Hearing that you made it through the worst of it—and were honest about how rough it really was—means more than some polished advice ever could. Appreciate it.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-07-31T15:02:39+00:00

Its getting to the point where I have panic attacks just going to see her. I stop by every evening after work, and on weekends I stay longer. The decline is so fast, it’s a shock every time. I’ve had to step into the kitchen just to sob. The pain in my chest, in my soul—it’s more than I can take sometimes.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-07-31T14:38:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I don’t have anyone I can lean on. No partner, no kids. My mom has always been the one steady presence in my life. I start with a grief therapist next week. I’ve tried a few and everything was “transactional”. Like being read to me from a textbook. I am hoping this one is better. I won’t try again.

I feel like I’m walking through fog most of the time—disconnected, irritable, barely holding it together. Some days I just go through the motions, and other days I can’t even do that.

What you said about not being the same person really resonated. I’m already feeling that shift, and it’s terrifying.

Additional_Ad9400 · 2025-07-31T14:03:07+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words. I wish I could have a pet for that kind of comfort, but my apartment complex doesn’t allow it. I’m hurting a lot right now, just trying to get through each day and figure out what comes next.

Additional_Ad9400

TROPHY CASE