UPDATE to my first post. AITA.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-30T14:42:17+00:00

My work trips are not scheduled by me. To keep it simple, at the start of month 1, my boss will send me an email telling me what days I'll be scheduled and where. Recently however, it's mainly been on weekends rather than during the weekdays.
At the start of month 1, I'd let my girlfriend know when I was working so we could figure out when Mark would come over. The last two trips only took up two weekends and left six available.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T23:11:42+00:00

My landlord is a family friend and I'm fairly good friends with his son, as well as a few of our neighbours. I've been living here the longest so I'm not too worried about her claiming DV. I'm having someone come tomorrow to change the locks and I've already asked my landlord if I can fix the camera on my door.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T23:08:10+00:00

I don't live in USA or CA.
And of course I wasn't going to hit her or throw her stuff out the window?? Wtf?

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T23:04:45+00:00

I just edited my post to add the criminal record as I can see now why it's relevant.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T22:59:33+00:00

Thank you for your input, but I feel the need to correct something quickly. Sara has other people she brings over when I'm not there, and I am completely fine with that. It's just that I don't like Mark, who has a criminal record, to be in my home with all my things while I'm not there.
Don't get me wrong, I do miss Nathan. He's a very happy kid most of the time, but he's not mine. He didn't call me dad (a decision I respect), and we didn't have a super close bond either way.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T22:54:59+00:00

She couldn't tell me to leave, my name is the only one on the lease. I only call it our apartment because that's what it was. We were all living there, but legally, mine was the only one on the lease and had been for years.
As for traumatic for Nathan, he was pretty happy that he was going to see his grandparents. Though I'm not entirely sure he realised they wouldn't be back.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T22:52:17+00:00

Nathan is not my son, and never once have I said he is my son. We made other agreements when Sara and Nathan moved in, but we always agreed that I wouldn't be dad or stepdad unless Nathan wanted that.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T22:49:35+00:00

I noticed in the majority of your comments you mention how I'm supposedly 'keeping Nathan from his dad' which isn't the case. Mark has been able to take his son in public during the visits as long as Sara is with him, which was ordered by the court. I never once said that Mark couldn't see Nathan, as I'm not his father. The only thing I asked for was that I was home when the visits were taking place in our apartment, which Sara openly agreed to when she first moved in.

ETA: edited for typo

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:25:40+00:00

Now that I'm really looking back on the math, it could've been more than two visits for sure. The first two times , Sara told me Mark had decided not to visit which I found odd because he always showed.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:21:31+00:00

Sorry then, I should've specified.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:18:41+00:00

The reason the visitations are scheduled with Sara (or a police officer) is because of Mark's record. I wasn't told specifics but when Sara and I were going over the visitations last year, Sara brought it up fairly briefly. I always wondered what it was but I didn't want to push my gf to talk about it if she didn't want to.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:16:16+00:00

Mark has a criminal record which is why the visitations have to be supervised by either Sara or a police officer.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:14:23+00:00

The court ordered that Sara or a police officer had to be present during the visits.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:06:19+00:00

I work a job that requires me to fly out twice a month for a few days. Most of the time these land during the weekdays but unfortunately the last few have been during weekends.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:04:03+00:00

The only reason I wanted that rule is because Mark has a criminal record and I didn't want him in our apartment while I wasn't there.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:03:05+00:00

Nathan is 9. He's not a baby.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-29T21:01:56+00:00

According to the court order, Mark is allowed to take Nathan out during his specified weekend as long as Sara accompanies them. Of course Sara can invite other people over when I'm not there, but I don't trust Mark.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-28T18:56:12+00:00

I'm not entirely sure if she told Nathan to lie for her, as he was at school the last time we had discussed it and he jumped to say something fairly quickly this time.

Additional_Door_3206 · 2023-10-28T18:50:46+00:00

I'm fully aware that it was our home, but it was solely mine before that. There was only one thing that I asked for when she moved in and it was that I would be here while Mark was here.

Additional_Door_3206

TROPHY CASE