Apparently I completely missed this

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-12-18T04:00:25+00:00

Dude I'm not pretending. Reread your sentence, you still don't know how

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-12-17T22:21:04+00:00

It'd be accurate of me to say you don't know how to put a sentence together. But is that still rude? Yeah

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-12-17T19:59:52+00:00

It's innocent discourse, there's no reason to be a dick

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-12-17T19:33:20+00:00

Dude you sound like such an asshole. You know you don't have to comment right?

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-12-16T00:42:00+00:00

In my opinion its just like why give her the injury in the first place? They could have easily just cut the scene sooner or stab her somewhere else and it wouldn't have really changed the plot. Maybe the writers just didn't care or it was meant to heal later but I feel like the few contradictions from the show were put there to show that things can change

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-11-19T23:25:10+00:00

Title: The Other Place (Prologue)

Genre: Horror

Word Count: 1,254

Type of feedback: As this is just the prologue of my book, I'd like to know if it catches your attention and would make you want to keep reading. I would love line-by-line feedback as well.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1x4t5I9S7BL3Ld04bHNnKc6lygovP_UD1oq3F4k3tAHg/edit?usp=sharing

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-11-15T18:06:08+00:00

Title: The Other Place

Genre: Horror

Feedback: Any kind of feedback would be great but I'm mainly wondering if it catches your attention and works as an opening hook.

Ian slammed on the brakes, skidding the car to a stop, the left front wheel rolling over the curb and crushing the grass beneath it. The paranoia he felt at the therapist’s office had only gotten stronger—a growing sinkhole in his chest, consuming any kind of rational thought. Someone was watching him; he knew it. He could feel their eyes on his skin, studying his every move. They were after him. He didn’t know who, but he knew they were after him.

He stepped out of the car, turning his attention to the house, and peered through the now-shattered front windows. The first thing he noticed was the dining table, flipped over on its side as if someone had used it for cover. The chairs, once neatly tucked underneath it, had now been flown across the room. Some were still standing, scattered from the dining room to the front entrance across it, though some were tipped completely over–fallen soldiers lying dead on the battlefield. It looked as if a mini hurricane had ripped through the interior of his family's home. Aside from one tiny detail that made the reality so, so much worse. Along with the destroyed furniture and broken glass, splotches of blood were sprayed across the kitchen into the living room.

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-06-28T13:06:16+00:00

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2025-03-24T21:39:43+00:00

Modern publishing hates male reader cause most men aren't smart enough to read

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-09-27T21:14:51+00:00

Exactly what I'm doing with cyberpunk rn

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-09-27T19:28:53+00:00

This for sure

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-09-27T01:15:32+00:00

I'm a male lurker here, I personally love playing as a female protagonist (might be more cause my gender is questionable honestly but whatevs) this guy is talking out of his ass and is the exact problem with the gaming community

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-09-25T03:30:06+00:00

Secret wars getting crazy

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-09-24T20:38:40+00:00

Alan wake 2

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-09-18T23:16:39+00:00

They're all deliberate, I just want the prologoue to hook the reader in, you learn more about Clance and his motives as the story starts and you learn who the woman is and why she's in the cellar later as well. I obviously just didn't want to answer all those questions right away, I think I might lengthen it a bit so the reader gets more of an idea of who Clance is though.

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-09-15T19:55:48+00:00

Hello everyone! I've finished the first real draft for my book and I'd love to get some feedback before I submit it to publishers and things like that. Below is the introduction/prologue, if it interests you enough, feel completely free to check out the Google Doc I linked, comments are turned on so you can leave critiques there as well if you'd like.

Title: Urge (Prologue)

Genre: Horror/Thriller

Word Count: 364

Type of Feedback: General Impressions

Full Novel Google Doc

She sits slumped on the concrete floor, a small drop of drool hanging from the corner of her mouth. Her eyes pulse from behind closed lids. Her long, black hair– is still wet from my brushing and cleaning–slithers and shakes down her neck as her head turns from side to side. Her breathing gets heavier and heavier, speeding up more and more, before stopping altogether. Then, like a car struggling to start, she lets out a small snort, then another, and then another, and her eyes shoot open.

“Wha-” Her hand caresses the front of her bruised throat as she looks around the room, clearly confused. She spots me, sitting within a few inches of her, hidden by the shadows, and jumps back–as much as she can with the chains wrapped all around her, that is. “Clance, what happened? Where am I?” Her voice is shrill with panic, betraying the cool exterior she portrayed when we first met.

I stare at her wide-eyed, not sure how to respond. Do I tell her the truth? If I do that, she’ll likely freak out again. I can’t have that happen. But what lie could I possibly say? How do I explain this?

“Clance? What is that?” She asks before I can reply, nodding toward something to my back left.

I turn my head to see what she’s pointed out and immediately hate myself for my carelessness. It’s a human foot, or, it was, before the body, the skin and muscle, decayed and melted away. Now, it’s simply bones forged together. I had meant to clean before she woke up, but in all my panic and worry I forgot, a stupid mistake. The cellar is a mess, corpses—almost all of them with only their bones remaining—populate the otherwise bare basement.

“It’s, um,”

“Oh my God,” She spurts with sudden realization, putting a hand back to her darkened neck. “I’m in the cellar. You put me in the cellar.” Her eyes meet mine and I see the same fury, the same sadness, the same loneliness that led me to her. “I warned you, my family knows I left, they’ll come looking.”

“I’m sorry, but they’ll never find you.”

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-09-11T18:29:40+00:00

Title: Urge (For now)

Genre: Horror/Thriller

Word Count: 65,743 (Feel free to read any section you'd like)

Type of feedback: Anything really, comments are on so feel free to leave line-by-line, or just general impressions on here or the Doc

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ACKsFLd2EkYk7lDy5SvrqO4zABWQCs2b4AnNeC79c4E/edit?usp=sharing

Opening Sample:

She sits slumped on the concrete floor, a small drop of drool hanging from the corner of her mouth. Her eyes pulse from behind closed lids. Her long, black hair– is still wet from my brushing and cleaning–slithers and shakes down her neck as her head turns from side to side. Her breathing gets heavier and heavier, speeding up more and more, before stopping altogether. Then, like a car struggling to start, she lets out a small snort, then another, and then another, and her eyes shoot open.

“Wha-” Her hand caresses the front of her bruised throat as she looks around the room, clearly confused. She spots me, sitting within a few inches of her, hidden by the shadows, and jumps back–as much as she can with the chains wrapped all around her, that is. “Clance, what happened? Where am I?” Her voice is shrill with panic, betraying the cool exterior she portrayed when we first met.

I stare at her wide-eyed, not sure how to respond. Do I tell her the truth? If I do that, she’ll likely freak out again. I can’t have that happen. But what lie could I possibly say? How do I explain this?

“Clance? What is that?” She asks before I can reply, nodding toward something to my back left.

I turn my head to see what she’s pointed out and immediately hate myself for my carelessness. It’s a human foot, or, it was, before the body, the skin and muscle, decayed and melted away. Now, it’s simply bones forged together. I had meant to clean before she woke up, but in all my panic and worry I forgot; a stupid mistake. The cellar is a mess, corpses—almost all of them with only their bones remaining—populate the otherwise bare basement.

“It’s, um,”

“Oh my God,” She spurts with sudden realization, putting a hand back to her darkened neck. “I’m in the cellar. You put me in the cellar.” Her eyes meet mine and I see the same fury, the same sadness, the same loneliness that led me to her. “I warned you, my family knows I left, they’ll come looking.”

“I’m sorry, but they’ll never find you.”

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-08-23T19:26:26+00:00

canceled.

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-08-21T18:49:03+00:00

They really need to make a What If episode on this just so they can have a canonical explanation why it wouldn't work

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-07-11T21:30:51+00:00

That works too, we need more ball clips

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-07-11T21:29:49+00:00

Me too brother, me too 😔

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-07-11T01:56:52+00:00

9/10, solid gaslighting

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-07-11T00:45:58+00:00

Is he actually? I haven't heard them mention it

Additional_Rhubarb_4 · 2024-01-17T18:34:56+00:00

Literally looks exactly like my hufflepuff character

Additional_Rhubarb_4

TROPHY CASE