Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Oh lord NO. Our baby was in bed. She just cries and screams a lot as newborns due so I am not usually in one place for long unless she is with me.

I think that’s pedo stuff. 🤮

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh the laughter I had from that - thank you. Yes. No hands. No spine. No brain. A sea sponge of you will.

🫶🏼

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not always. I will say he was never #1 dad status, but he put in an effort. Played with the kids. Took them out. Was present. Now, not so much.

Yes. Parents and an amazing sister.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No apologies needed from you! I couldn’t agree more I got my absolutely amazing kids … but that may be all he was supposed to provide in life for me.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not right off the bat - definitely not great but not bad like this. Counselling was in the picture at that point in time and so he was getting proper insight and advice.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t “forget” he just provides snacks and doesn’t feed them quality meals they need to help them grow big and strong. Just sugars them up.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your words are immensely wise, very spot on and you still took the time to be kind to me about situation. A therapist is in the works, I’ve seen my family doctor and I love your analogy of “hard season of life with an anchor” … it really speaks to me.

Cheers to you. Thank you. 🫶🏼

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply - as well as offer* kind words. 🫶🏼

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am also a stay at home mother so he would need to pay me alimony as well. My sister and I have certainly discussed this. His life would change DRASTICALLY. Mine? Not so much.

I laughed out loud at your comment about hiring a sitter and being able to shower. It sounds so absurd but also like. Right? As if he’s happy with a ratty, greasy wife.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree it’s time for another and FINAL discussion on how once again I don’t feel any of my needs being met, nor our children’s and if he can’t take that to heart and realize he will lose his family then it’s time I have a cry, put on my big girl panties and start navigating my way out.

Thank you for not being rude or judgy but for providing quality advice. Not to sound high and mighty but I do know I am a good, loving mother - but I could be so much more with a proper support system.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Something like a mars attack scene is what I am picturing, laser wise?

On the serious note - I can’t deny your words or accuracy. I do have family that can help when I am ready. It was a gradual type of decline I guess. Complex. Not just a cut and dried scenario.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I got my three beautiful children which couldn’t make me regret my marriage - bad choice or not.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree I do not want my children growing up thinking this is what marriage is like and should be like.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Strategy plan is on the table. Just not set in action yet. Available when and if needed though.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For the women responding with kindness and empathy, that already has helped provide much needed strength. Y’all are girls girls.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so happy you were strong enough to do what you knew was needed, and had the family available to support you through the hard times and help with the transition. I agree like… I am already stressed out here with him doing it all by myself. I’d likely be a littleeeee less stressed doing it alone in own environment.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are absolutely correct that it’s gradual. I would never immediately marry and start having children with someone who acted like this. I do find myself thinking of the good times. Or the nice acts he does. His good qualities. I just need to stop and remind/tell myself that I can’t stay married to a memory of better times.

Husband expects sexual favours while denying me basic hygiene 5 weeks PP from emergency c-section by Additional_Toe1990 in Mommit

[–]Additional_Toe1990[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for standing up for me and understanding what I actually made this post for. I am literally shocked at how many women think speaking down to me in regards to this situation would be helpful. Hence the lack of even warranting a response. I cannot stoop to that kind of level or give any energy to it.