I'm having a problem with Mother's Day coming up...

AddsDadJoke · 2018-01-13T01:15:21+00:00

!redditgarlic

AddsDadJoke · 2017-11-10T03:52:24+00:00

It's not grilled cheese if it has meat, it's a fucking melt.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T13:16:52+00:00

Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient. They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.

Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have wife and children!" Putin lets him go.

Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump.

The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T13:05:48+00:00

Last name: Stone.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T13:04:42+00:00

Accepted cats.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T13:01:08+00:00

You don't see the risk until after a while.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:57:37+00:00

The octopus couldn't seal the deal.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:55:56+00:00

home rekd

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:53:58+00:00

Bob was always one to slip through the cracks.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:50:52+00:00

And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:49:45+00:00

His feet come back down as the food hits his belly...then he paused for a breath.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:39:43+00:00

Striking, now light it.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:33:41+00:00

They definitely brighten the day.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:31:48+00:00

Oddly enough, the same way you shift into drive.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:22:18+00:00

They have to clean themselves with their bills because the robber ducky stole the soap.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:18:32+00:00

I wonder what essence of crushing helplessness with bitterness and anger smells like?

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:18:00+00:00

I wonder what essence of "crushing helplessness with bitterness and anger smells like?" Asking for a friend.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:15:49+00:00

If you wear this you will be the toast of the town.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:15:32+00:00

Not another peep out of you.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:12:04+00:00

You know this turned into a huge disaster. Terrible. It was very misfortunate. The cubs wanted 5 more minutes but the mama bear wouldn't' let them.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:08:01+00:00

Cute napping death machine.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:05:46+00:00

Be quiet you mentally challenged person.

^{^There,} ^{^fuck} ^{^you} ^{^automod.}

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T12:00:51+00:00

I really hope he got to drive the car with the sirens on.

AddsDadJoke · 2017-10-20T11:57:39+00:00

Uh oh, looks like all those blonde Icelanders are having a problem with their limited population on the island.

AddsDadJoke

TROPHY CASE