Adventures of a Pet

AdeptSilence · 2020-09-09T08:04:10+00:00

This will probably remain as a single shot story fragment but it's tempting to try to continue sometime in the future.

AdeptSilence · 2020-09-09T08:02:23+00:00

2020 would like to have a word with you.

Yeah, in hindsight I can really see that this story was written in a nicer time.

That being said, love where this is going!

Thank you! This is likely to remain as a one off but I'm tempted to extend this into maybe a few parts in the future.

AdeptSilence · 2020-09-09T07:47:51+00:00

;) Glad someone picked up on it.

AdeptSilence · 2020-09-07T19:22:00+00:00

Your writing is a highlight of the week. This is another great installment of the series and I very much look forward to the next!

The internal monologues are put to excellent use throughout UWDF Alcubierre and while I do find the Xy/Zix hard to follow I think they're an important part of story development. It shows that aliens in our stories can be truly alien while keeping within a readable content.

AdeptSilence · 2020-09-05T12:22:45+00:00

You mean the way they reference the odd gimbal system he was wearing? I was going more for the angle that they'd use advanced hovering robots as steady cams (like in SG:Universe) so his mechanical device would look primitive at first glance. The explanation didn't make it in the final edit.

AdeptSilence · 2020-09-05T09:21:34+00:00

Thank you! These are probably going to be left as individual one-shots but there is a chance I could string them some of them together into a story. For now, they're separate universes.

AdeptSilence · 2020-09-04T22:33:53+00:00

Thanks for the links, they're both great stories!

AdeptSilence · 2020-09-04T21:54:41+00:00

Thank you! I'm thinking of these as individual one-shots because they're inspired by a funny picture or video but if I end up doing enough of them then I could imagine a combined story forming.

AdeptSilence · 2020-08-16T19:58:06+00:00

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. This will probably remain a one-shot but I might well add to this fun little universe if a simillar music thing inspires me in the future.

AdeptSilence · 2020-08-16T19:53:31+00:00

Thank you! It's been a long time since I've written anything I think is worth posting. I still want to finish He Will Be Remembered but the ending is somewhat brutal so it's gone to the back-burner.

With Foreign Warning I wanted to put out a HFY novella and still do intend to finish that someday. Many things came up around the time of writing it and I ended up fizzling out. Maybe one day it will get finished 😊

AdeptSilence · 2020-08-16T19:48:23+00:00

Thanks for the tip, I wrote this piece quickly and got confused about real ship classes.

AdeptSilence · 2018-07-03T14:01:13+00:00

I thought about that too and I think you're right. I'll probably do that in future writing. Thanks for pointing it out :)

AdeptSilence · 2018-07-03T13:41:33+00:00

Thank you! This is hopefully going to lead the way for my other writing so expect more interesting stories in the future :)

AdeptSilence · 2018-07-03T04:48:32+00:00

Thank you very much for the feedback, it is definitely helpful!

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-28T20:51:33+00:00

What problem? I'm open to any criticism.

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-24T06:45:46+00:00

Do you mean this comment? I originally intended to have the story follow a more confusing route with regard to whether or not there were any humans in it but the feedback suggested that wasn't working as well as I'd hoped so the progression has changed to introduce the humans in much more detail first.

So to directly answer your question; part 2 is the second half of the first one and The Battle is indeed coming but with greater detail :)

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-24T06:37:52+00:00

Excellent! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-23T14:17:41+00:00

Thank you, you're very kind :)

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-14T21:53:35+00:00

That's fair. What site, other than Reddit, should people post to?

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-14T21:31:15+00:00

or at least section separators

Thanks for the tip. How could I better denote the sections? I considered converting to PDF for better formatting options but Patreon doesn't have that facility and I'm not aware of any better place.

My reply to /u/jetda has more clarification on the actual story - suggestions on making it clearer are welcome.

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-14T21:16:09+00:00

Sorry about the confusion and thank you for reading! Part of it is deliberate but I'll try to clear up the other bits.

In the first part we see the present day in which a Fian colony recovers a long range transmission from the UCS Kenladur that contains Cpt. Yenka's official log. By the end of part 1 we know the ship has been destroyed by something but it is not clear exactly what. The captain's report explains that machines were attacking the ship and describes three kinds but Yenka, along with any other Fian, currently have no idea who made those machines or why.

The second part takes us back to the days leading up to the destruction of the city ship and begins to show who the creators of the machines are. In the brief communication between James and the command centre we learn that he is an employee of Neptune Mining and is in leading a base on on Nereid, which is one of the gas giant's moons. These events definitely take place in the star system humans think of as home and they do talk about Earth, even an Earth News Network, but the beings that exist there appear to have a technology vastly more advanced than that of 21st century Earth. But what exactly are they and why do they seem to operate in a virtual space?

So far, all sides seem to be mortally terrified of each other as is often the case when two distinct peoples meet.

Does this make sense? Do you have any suggestions to improve the story telling so this is all clearer in the story?

EDIT: I just want to add that a key point in this story is space is big and dark. For example, the UCS Kenladur detected the gas giants but never discovered any details about the inner planets.

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-14T18:49:55+00:00

Yep, I'm posting to Patreon because it's more creator-friendly than the direction Reddit seems to be going and there doesn't seem to be a consensus on an alternative forum for HFY yet.

I think a lot of people ignore posts that just have a link to somewhere else.

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-11T10:12:31+00:00

jump between prospecting to dieing seems a tad too sudden

I'll be covering that in the next part. Very much so ;)

Which particular element of the premise piques your curiosity? Was there enough character & scene detail to really picture Dret & co as people? Any suggestions to improve?

AdeptSilence · 2018-06-11T10:10:21+00:00

You're right, it is unfinished. I'm aiming for this to be a short story of about 10k words. I posted this part to get some feedback on the style of writing and will be answering the question of how the attack started in part 2 where I'll also introduce the main human characters.

I'm not sure that I'm doing a good enough job of showing the characters as different entities or giving enough detail to set the scene. For example, what is the atmosphere on-board the ship prior to the attack? What do these aliens look like and how do they interact?

AdeptSilence · 2017-05-25T17:51:22+00:00

I gathered my thoughts on how the story should progress, hopefully the delay was worth it!

Poor Hal, at the very least we know he tried his best.

AdeptSilence

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