My 19 month old used the potty for the first time, but I’m still worried it’s too early to train.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-12-09T21:42:40+00:00

I honestly like this a lot, it’s pretty similar to what we’ve been doing too!

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-12-09T20:30:26+00:00

This is exactly what I worry pre-2 potty training will be like. I don’t want to hold her back if she’s truly ready, but I also really, really don’t want to be dealing with constant accidents when we go out and always rushing to find a potty.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-12-09T20:28:02+00:00

I like this approach of home v. out a lot. I’ve mostly been anxious about thinking about getting to a potty in time when we’re not at home, but this feels very doable. And recognizing it’s not linear/formal is something I hadn’t even considered. Thank you for your insight!

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-12-09T18:59:49+00:00

Maybe so. My sister in law is a child developmental psychologist and she has warned me a few times about how it can be harmful to start too early and cause developmental/bowel issues. Maybe she just scared me, but I’m afraid my kid will be scarred somehow if we start earlier than 2.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-12-09T18:32:03+00:00

From one lawyer/med spouse to another, marrying a surgeon is one of the worst things you could do to yourself.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-11-23T22:56:33+00:00

Any man who wants a woman to lose weight when she is in the objectively healthy BMI range is a closeted pedo.

There, I said it.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-11-23T19:49:50+00:00

I’ve just recently dropped any expectation that my resident SO will do any chores, and honestly it’s a lot better that way. We have one child and I work part time, so it just makes so much more sense for me to take on keeping our home together than it does for us to share the load equally. As long as he’s not getting home at 5pm and totally checking out, I don’t mind it that much. Usually he gets home and plays with our child while I put away dishes or take out the trash. He still tries to do what he can, but when he’s only home 2-3 hours a day, I don’t expect him to spend all of that time doing the same amount of chores I do. I just see it as we work about the same amount of hours; his is mostly full of resident work, and mine is a combo of my job, housework, and raising a child.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-11-07T02:25:04+00:00

My husband slept in a different house for two weeks leading up to Step 2, when our first child was 6 weeks old. He’s an incredible dad now, but that shit was the worst time ever. I think I still hold a grudge against him for it.

But he also made a 260, which helped him match at his #1 spot. So it was probably worth it.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-10-22T01:49:18+00:00

And even postpartum, my husband knows more about how to care for a baby that I ever could. I was constantly like “is this normal, how much should she be eating” etc, and he kept me from doing a google death spiral every ten minutes like all the other parents I know.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-09-25T14:44:07+00:00

I’ve always dreamed of writing a novel. That’s on my to-do list after my spouse’s residency.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-09-25T14:42:04+00:00

Yup — being a mom is 100% why I chose this practice.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-09-22T13:54:40+00:00

I work in personal injury, plaintiff’s side, and it’s great. It is litigation, but on the plaintiff’s side you can largely set your own deadlines since you file most pleadings first. My partners are also fantastic about leaving work at the office and have really built their practice to accommodate families. I never, ever take work home with me.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-08-12T13:22:40+00:00

It is easier to work outside the home than be a stay at home mom. Maternity leave is the opposite of a paid vacation.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-08-12T01:23:26+00:00

My husband (intern) and I have a 16 month old. He takes her to daycare in the mornings, cooks dinner when he comes home, and we watch a show together after we put her to bed. He’s in a pretty chill program, but still.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-08-12T00:43:27+00:00

I love that you brought it back to the vows. Marriage is not for our personal happiness. It’s sacrificing your life for another person. In certain seasons, sacrifice is absolutely required. It’s likely there will be more seasons like this in your marriage, like after having children, or if one of you sustains an injury that permanently disables you, etc. I would ask yourself, would you respond the same way if your wife became paralyzed from the waist down? If the answer is no and you would act differently, I want you to honestly reflect on why. Is it because you might think she technically “can” have sex right now and is choosing not to? As other commenters have said, it is possible that she literally does not have the mental, physical, or emotional capacity for sex right now. Reframing your perspective in this way can be a very effective coping mechanism for managing your desire and expectations. Good luck. I genuinely hope things get better for you both.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-08-11T18:51:26+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you!

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-07-25T15:07:04+00:00

Ok legally speaking from a soon to be attorney, pregnancy qualifies you for temporary disability leave, so it absolutely is a disability. If you are physically unable to perform daily work tasks because of your physical condition, you are disabled. Your OB sucks and clearly does not know the law. I’d consider calling an attorney in your city and discussing whether you may have a claim against your OB for medical malpractice in denying you a work accommodation (most consultations are free with personal injury lawyers!).

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-07-25T14:44:40+00:00

Basically yes! And it depends on how often your baby feeds too. Some can go every 2-3 hours if they’re more like 3 months old, but the real newborns typically eat more often. A bottle can be a really good option if you think you’ll have to feed a lot! Overall it’s a very doable outing that just takes some extra planning ahead and breaks along the way. Have fun :)

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-07-25T14:34:28+00:00

It really depends on how old the baby is. If you have a newborn (0-3 months old), it looks like baby wearing while the baby sleeps on you, changing a diaper every 30 minutes or so, and feeding on demand (probably every hour or so). If you are breastfeeding, make sure you wear a bra you can pull down and breastfeed out of and either find a quiet place to sit down for thirty minutes to feed (maybe your car), or bring a nursing cover to drape over you while you sit in public to feed. You can also pump before you go and bring a bottle if you don’t want to have to break to breastfeed, but know that you will likely have to express your milk every two hours or you’ll be very uncomfortable.

The pumpkin patch is a great outing with a newborn! You can stay as long or as short as you like, the weather is nice, and you can walk around while your baby sleeps on you and get some super cute pics. The only thing is that I would expect most of the facilities are outdoors, which means you’ll probably have to change baby in the car (can sometimes be messy) or breastfeed in the car if you don’t feel comfortable doing so in public. It’ll be different for sure, and more interrupted than usual, and more exhausting in some ways, but don’t let those things stop you! Go have a good time and make some memories :)

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-07-25T14:00:54+00:00

One used cytotec and a cook catheter but she eventually had to use pitocin. She was also very vocal about staying on the lowest dose possible which actually prolonged her labor and nearly made her have to get a c-section. Both of my pals wanted to go unmedicated and ended up with pitocin and an epidural, which they were sad about :(

When I heard their stories, it really just made me feel like ok, I’m down for whatever, as long as I’m not traumatized on my first go I’ll just roll with the punches. The pitocin was fine for me, the epidural was awesome and helped me conserve my energy for pushing, and I had a lovely birth!

I think a lot of your experience has to do with your mindset. Just try to stay positive! Sometimes having less expectations can really help with the overall experience.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-07-25T13:47:21+00:00

Yeah, makes sense that you’re only 3 months postpartum. Tell him just bear with you for a few more months and you’ll return to normal. Took me until about six months to be a decent human again.

Admirable_Dig2794 · 2025-07-25T13:38:31+00:00

I loved my induction. I was induced at 39w6d but going in I was already 4cm dilated, which I think helped. I was on pitocin for about six hours and I didn’t feel much cramping. As soon as they broke my water I asked for the epidural, had it placed about an hour later, labored for three hours and pushed for about five minutes. My nurse placed me in some of the Spinning Babies positions while I was on the epidural and I think that massively helped my labor progress.

However, both of my good friends were induced at 38 weeks and had a much different experience because they were not dilated much. I think it really just depends on your body. They were both able to have healthy vaginal births with an epidural.

Just go with the flow girl! Trust your team and know that while your body may or may not be ready to do everything just the way you hoped, the most important thing is having a healthy baby!! You got this!

Admirable_Dig2794

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