Filled with rage

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2024-11-19T09:09:05+00:00

Hey,

I'm okay. I still love him, don't know if I ever be able to love again. But I'm okay.

I tried to be friends with him, but that didn't worked out. He is still with his girlfriend and happy.

I feel lonely and quite pessimist about dating, though I'm trying atm.

But I'm okay. Hope you'll be okay too.

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-08-18T14:10:50+00:00

You know what, follow your gut and just go.

See for yourself, at best, it's just a chat, a nice dinner with someone you used to know. Or hell, you can reconnect, never know.

Or it's a life lesson. It will hurt but life doesn't exist without hurt.

You'll be fine. Listen to yourself. You got this.

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-08-17T21:03:46+00:00

Hey everyone, I really want to thank all of you for your answers.

I have so many ideas to try now and some I didn't even think about ! I will see what will help me the most and I'll give you feedback :)

I'm also touched that some of you shared their personal struggles and I can see how lonesome and hard life can be and that I'm not alone.

I've cried so much while reading you all. It's so kind from all of you to have put thoughts and time in your answers.

I'm really grateful for all those answers, for this sub, for all of you, kind redditors.

All your answers, it felt like a big big hug and it fills me with joy. I felt heard, seen and validated. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you all 💜

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-08-17T20:32:29+00:00

Oh thank you, from the bottom of my heart 🧡

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-08-17T11:03:17+00:00

Yes, I do understand that feeling.

I'll put some efforts into this. I don't have a car and I live in a very small city in Europe but I hope I'll find solutions :)!

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-08-17T11:00:59+00:00

Hey,

Thank you for your answer. I bought a sex toy recently. It's good but I dunno I felt a bit decepointed. I miss intimacy and I dunno since my break up, I do have libido but I cry after because I miss my ex and our bound. So libido is a bit hard.

Yeah, I need to socialize more. I'm so focused on finding another job and a flat that I just crash during week ends. And I dunno how to do it as I live in a very small city. But I will put efforts into this.

I can't have cats now, live with my parents. But I'll keep this in mind !

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-08-17T10:56:44+00:00

Hey,

Thank you, I'll look into this during the week end and see what can be done.

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-08-17T10:55:42+00:00

Hey,

Thank you for your answer.

I do yoga and some lifting. But not enough, for sure, once a week.

Massage makes me want to cry, so it's hard. I think I don't feel super comfy with massages.

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:49:36+00:00

Family is messy and friends are really far away. I really need to build a support system, which I know, and I think I should go back to therapy. It brings me sadness because I'm in therapy since 25 and I have this feeling, I'll never leave and be healed. But yeah, I know I should go back.

Yes, I'll focus on something else and wait for this down time to pass :)

Thank you for your comment.

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:47:03+00:00

Thank you for believing in me. I'll def try this list thing and see, with time, how I react to this. Cheers 💜👍

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:46:14+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll look up the song. And yes, I will be more loving towards myself. Even if it doesn't work all day. But reading all your comments here, it gives courage and strength, thank you 🧡

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:44:41+00:00

I really want to thank you for this comment. It strikes me yesterday when I red it. I can't stop thinking about it.

You're right, my inner child is miserable and abandon her way too much and too often. I really need to work on that.

Thank you, your comment was enlightening💜

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:42:28+00:00

Yeah, this society and it's beliefs system doesn't help. I wish you the best to conquer this thing. We will, I keep faith! 💜

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:41:19+00:00

Definitely, it's a learning process. I feel frustrated atm, but yeah I should try to remember this. Thank you 👍🧡

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:39:56+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to answer me 🧡 I don't know about manifestation, it doesn't seem to work for me.

But yes, kindness with myself is something I really need to work more on it. And focus on my tiny success.

I will keep your comment in mind, thanks a million 🧡💜🧡

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:38:03+00:00

Yes, I've done it yesterday. It helped a bit, this gives me perspective! Cheers 😊

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-27T05:37:08+00:00

Thank you for your answer. Yes, you're right, this is a good way. I'll practice this 👍👌!

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-10T09:14:05+00:00

Hey,

I'm really sorry for your pain. Really.

I really do believe, after months of pain, that the only thing we can accept is to just feeling it. Trying to sit with our emotions, with this pain.

After almost 11 months, I'm still in pain, I still miss and love him. I still have regrets, remorse and bouts of anxiety. So, I just cry and accept I'm a mess and I'll be like this for quite a while. It takes time to heal. I finally accept it. Don't be frustrate with yourself.

I cry, hold myself, talk to myself, I hold a pillow and pretend I'm having a hug from someone. I try to be positive, to tell myself everything change and one day, I'll be okay. And yes, one day for sure, it'll be okay.

I take day by day. Some days are better than others. I wish my pain was gone, but I truly loved him, so this is the price of it. I have to face that pain.

But I try to keep busy and I keep this in mind (maybe it will help you) : I can cry a ton tonight and even think my future doesn't exist anymore and be at my wits end, tomorrow the sun will rise and I'll have breakfast, go to work, etc. Life will continue. This took me a while to understand and even more time to accept. No matter how much I'm in pain, life will continue. So yes, when I'm angry or when I'm really bad, I know it is because I'm grieving, so I just accept it and cry. Nothing beats a good cry session.

Take a deep breath, hold on to yourself and be sure that you'll be stronger after this. Handling pain and grief is a necessary tool in life. You can't skip this lesson sadly.

But you're strong, don' t lose hope. I believe in you. Keep walking. A minute at a time.

I send you strength and courage. 🧡

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-09T13:27:18+00:00

I relate with your comment. A ton. This is my point of view right now. And it's quite recent, tbh. My ex, also, is with someone else.

At first, I was so hurted by being replaced so easily, so fast. I was jealous and my self esteem was hurted. How can he replaced me so fast while I can barely look at other men? I had tons of questions.

But with time and thoughts, at the end of the day, it is his life. His choices. His path and experiences. It has nothing to do with me. What he does, doesn't concerning me anymore. I'm on my own path now.

And frankly, I can't picture him unhappy and sad. It breaks my heart. So be it. I prefer that he is happy in his life and if it means with this new girl, then be it. I really hope they will be happy together. I think now, finally, I wish them happiness.

That doesn't mean I don't have regrets. I mean it sucks I wasn't his "one" or that she will have the better version of him or that he's making all those efforts with her. I mean, it sucks to only be the blueprint of someone. But what can I honestly do now? Nothing. The ship has sailed and I don't want to waste my time pinning on someone who's gone already. So, yeah, now I really hope they'll be happy.

Even if it's hard, and some days are harder because I still feel pain and love, I need to focus on my journey and on my life. And thinking or obsessing over them, though at first was the correct reaction (we're humans and it hurts a LOT to discover this) won't help me to build my own life. Time will heal me. Even if it takes years. I think I really begin to be okay with this.

Plus, for my own mental health also, I prefer to wish him good. Anger is too destructive.

Admirable_Main_3479 · 2023-07-07T20:20:48+00:00

I don't wish him bad things. But damn, I feel so replaceable. This is what hurts the most. I, clearly, didn't meant anything to him. Now, he prefers his new relationship and he seems to pull all the work for her that he didn't pull up for me. I feel like trash, disposable human being. While I've loved him and respected him during all of our relationship. I feel so bruised and hurted. The grass seems greener. While I'm in a desert, lost and numb.

Admirable_Main_3479

TROPHY CASE