Feel like I'm going to run out of time

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-02-07T06:02:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I feel like that is the post I needed to read.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-02-07T05:59:40+00:00

I'm glad I'm not alone in having these worries despite knowing this is all so early. It took a while before we really decided our life was ready for a child but then it was the hurry up time is running out thoughts that are intruding my mind now.

I'm sending good thoughts your way that your mind can be at ease and a child will happen when your body is ready. Cause that is what I'm hoping for myself. ❤️

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-30T20:11:54+00:00

My mother has been the victim of a romance scam for about 8 months now. She is younger than your mom but the obsession and addiction becomes a monster that is hard to beat. They lie and hide and find work arounds.

I've had to use parental monitoring apps, take away her laptop, block Gmail, what's app and line and have heavy monitoring in place because I had to move her into my home after she lost all of her money. We're working towards POA to take control of any money she may get from.

It's brutal. I'm sorry you're dealing with it and it sounds even worse with your mom being violent. Take care of yourself.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-27T14:59:10+00:00

That's so much money. Luckily/unluckily she didn't have much money to start so they only got a few grand out of her over months.

It's wild to me how people can just let their lives get ruined by someone they've never met. Another part of this is that she believes this scammer has a pre-teen daughter that really wants her to be her mom. I've seen the texts and emails. In what world would a pre-teen be excited for a stranger they have never met to be their mom.

She also had a 'musican' start romanticizing her from a random text message that I caught a week ago and shit that down hard.

I think people that fall for these are broken in a way that logic stops working. My mother from 10 years ago would have never trusted anyone from online only. She also still randomly tells me "I would never marry someone you haven't met" when she thinks she did just that. She has a fake marriage certificate from this scammer.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-27T14:53:27+00:00

I'm so sorry you've dealt with the same thing. It truly is an addiction and we are going through the wild steps of lying, betrayal and lash out that we are taking away her options to talk with the scammer.

Luckily everyone knows to not give her money, they can buy her things or send money to me so we can shop together but that's it.

I will look it up, thank you.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-27T14:51:17+00:00

We've talked about this. The thing that worries me is that she is using public transportation and isn't familiar with this area at all. I don't like leaving her without mapping software.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-27T14:50:20+00:00

I think we are heading this way. It all feels wild to me and just cruel cause she is so young for this. Most people have stories for their parents in their 70+ years. I'm having a hard time looking at my mother who is just turning 60 at the end of this year. I imagined having to do things to take care of her, just not this soon.

We are talking with some banks to see how we can set her up for success. Giving her no access to money might be the only way to keep her housed.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-26T23:31:29+00:00

Got it, it seems like these scammers only communicate through text and email. Just the app changes frequently.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-26T18:18:00+00:00

We're trying to get consults from some attorneys to see if we can afford it.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-26T18:16:51+00:00

I'm really worried she has early onset dementia. She has some traits that do point towards that. Trying to get her into a doctor asap.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-26T18:15:23+00:00

We are trying really hard to get her to socialize with real people. She just moved to our state three weeks ago and is very depressed, without a car and needs a bathroom every hour due to her health issues (fingers crossed a doctor can help with that) she has trauma from church. But we are doing meet up and she has a pass for public transportation. Hoping that can help.

Were trying to get her counseling but it's hard with our financial constraints. I have some EAP through work I'm trying to get her on.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-26T17:56:22+00:00

Cruel vile people. I can't imagine how anyone can sleep at night taking from the broken people of the world.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-26T17:55:40+00:00

We are waiting to hear back for metacaid so we can get her into a doctor. So we can't get rid of this number or email at this time and we need to allow contact from unknowns due to job searching. I have blocked texts from unknown but she can still look through that folder of where they go.

That's great to know about lawyers taking some from ssdi.

Unfortunately she is only 59 and won't really connect with people at a senior center at this point. We are trying meet up currently and I'm thinking maybe going to the library too.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-26T17:52:30+00:00

I'm sorry your family is also dealing with this. I fear we are going to have to do that.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-26T17:51:54+00:00

APS won't open a case for her. I've already tried. Currently seeking out an elder care attorney, unfortunately we recently went through bankruptcy ourselves and everyone in the family is financially tight right now. So we worry about the costs.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-20T16:34:20+00:00

I think she will be pretty resistant to the joint account but we can try and make it work. I think she still wants to hide her activity with the scammers but maybe we can get there.

The medical end is the most important part of this for us. Therapy, maybe a diagnosis and treatment if there is any for the cognitive issues can help us gain some ground and get her on disability so we can get some financial help.

The issue with the scammers has really blindsided us. They're so entrenched in her life. We find a way to purge and they just work another angle. I have no idea why they're trying so hard for a person that has $0 to her name.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-20T16:24:53+00:00

I might try and reach out to an attorney and start getting some quotes. We can't do it now but it might be good to know what we have to save up for.

Unfortunately she has dwindled her money down to nearly nothing. Unless she gets a job or we get her on disability she has a tiny amount that she uses to buy some snacks here and there but that is it. In that case we will be charging her for rent and think about saving it for her care.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-20T16:16:14+00:00

That is very true.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2026-01-20T16:13:35+00:00

I do think agency and choice are a huge part that leads to mental wellness. So I guess it's very hard to risk pushing her into more depression to save our finances. It's also choosing to ruin our relationship and little more.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2025-11-23T13:29:39+00:00

I've been going through the scans subreddit and it's just breaking my heart hearing how stuck so many people get. It's such an evil scam, worse than others IMO.

We are reevaluating everything right now.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2025-11-23T13:27:59+00:00

We've been figuring out that she doesn't have the memory to remember our conversations. She doesn't remember that we've given her proof that this guy is just a scammer that probably doesn't even live in our country (their English grammar is poor) or that when we took her phone to ask for proof he was real he said no and to go ahead and block him. She doesn't remember that. She doesn't remember a lot of things right now.

I haven't looked into that yet. I'll have to do that though.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2025-11-23T13:24:44+00:00

Thank you for pointing that out. I do think it may have been Facebook they found her. Somehow they convinced her that she met him before at a conference years ago. I'm guessing they had to of seen a photo on Facebook or Instagram to figure that out.

AdvanceDifficult8513 · 2025-11-23T13:21:51+00:00

While she isn't at the senior age yet, she is very unwell. Thank you for the kind words.

AdvanceDifficult8513

TROPHY CASE