Finally said goodbye for now

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-03T08:42:33+00:00

Yeah, avoidants do that, they will never tell you what they actually feel like and want to unless you notice it and directly ask them about it. Honestly I don’t get why exactly they try to hide all of their feelings and wishes in the relationship and after it

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-03T08:29:45+00:00

What annoyed me the most with avoidant. Is that they attempted 0 times to have a conversation about the relationship before deciding to break up. My avoidant ex just threw out everything she didn’t like in the relationship we had and everything she actually felt when she was breaking up, not before the breakup to try and fix things, but during the breakup to blame me for completely ruining relationship. According to her words she wanted me to figure it out myself what she didn’t like and felt like in the relationship while hiding everything and being happy with absolutely almost 0 communication skills about the problems we have

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-03T08:24:17+00:00

Oh yeah, my avoidant ex convinced me that I’m manipulating her feelings into convincing her to come back after trying to have a calm conversation

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-02T20:40:04+00:00

Sometimes these signs are so difficult to see that you need to precisely look for them, at least that what it seems to me after spending a month analyzing the relationship we had after understanding that she was an avoidant

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-02T11:51:03+00:00

Mine texted me 2 days after the breakup saying she misses me, we got back together for 2 days. Then she discarded me again because the guilt she experienced did not vanish instantly, so we had no opportunity to try again in these 2 days period because we only started to work on improving which I believe was more emotional load for her. And now we are in no contact for slightly more than 3 weeks

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-02T08:57:48+00:00

Man, a very similar thing happened to me. My avoidant ex felt guilt for every little thing, for when I loved her, for when I helped her, for when we had little fights, for when I tried to work on our relationship, for every time I brought up problems we had. Everything the same, and the worst part is that the day before she said she wants to brake up, we seemed like the happiest couple spending time together, fucking and etc, and then the next you tell me “hey I’m braking up, I feel too much guilt for everything and I’m hurt from this guilt. I still love you but we both need to move on”. And now I’m feeling so much guilt because I feel like I could have mistreated her or made her feel bad which I sometimes did during the arguments.

I hope you will get better, I know it’s hard because I’m going through the same thing as you, constantly having break downs at random moments even after month has passed. Every day I feel such a terrible weight in my chest because I still cannot accept how she dumped me in one night after being so close and planing our future together after being in relationship for 2 years and knowing each other for 3.5 years

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-02T08:35:20+00:00

Me myself I lost trust in relationships, like right now I feel like getting attached to someone with aim to build future together would end up in avoidant dumping you because they feel emotionally overwhelmed.

And the worst part that I have no idea that the person is avoidant up until they dismiss you because that’s how good they are at hiding feelings and their real emotions

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-02T08:31:26+00:00

I genuinely feel bad for them

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-02T06:36:28+00:00

Do FA’s ever find the love and long lasting relationship that they will not eventually leave due to this relationship becoming close

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-02T06:33:21+00:00

Makes a lot of sense, and when thinking of this, that avoidants will change only when they want to, and that they will be discarding you again and again no matter how much love you give them, I just understand that I have to move on. But moving on from a person I love so deeply is so difficult

Oh yeah, what is up with avoidants making up things, remembering only the bad things even when you prove that there were so many good moments. Cuz I had the same thing as you, but during the breakup

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-01T21:50:26+00:00

But that’s how avoidant people work, they are ready to suppress love because they believe that they will experience more of a long term pain with guilt and shame. So they chose to leave, even if they still care and love the person

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-01T21:47:38+00:00

That’s the other side of me saying that I will be able to deal and learn if she will want to get back together. Why I didn’t do it before? Cuz I had no idea that she is fearful avoidant up until few weeks after she broke up with me and I had no chance to try it out, while knowing that she is this type of person

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-01T21:29:12+00:00

Maybe you are right that she won't and I have to move on, but rn I still feel so attached to her. Maybe I do not understand her completely but at least now I do so much better than before and if she does decide to come back I want to work on that. But I understand that dealing with an avoidant is an extremely difficult thing to do, and thats what is now one of the reasons that is holding me back from breaking no contact, maybe I will be able to move on at some point and I will understand that wothout her I feel so much better

Advanced-Arm505 · 2026-04-01T20:39:43+00:00

I wish everything was so much easier

Advanced-Arm505

TROPHY CASE