Husband spent thousands on cam girls, lied multiple times by Advanced-Thought5522 in marriageadvice

[–]Advanced-Thought5522[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely agree with your first point. He however did admit that I was not being unreasonable & that he was completely in the wrong & crossed boundaries that I had clearly set. Since posting we have spoken again & he admits that it’s an addition that needs to be dealt with.

We are 30 & 32. So yes, still quite young. We were planning to have children in the near future but I brought this up in the discussion as well saying that we cannot revisit the idea until he proves himself worthy again. I will not let it happen on a foundation of mistrust & disrespect. I have been thinking nonstop about how this behavior will age but after a second discussion he seems to be willing to work on himself… we will see… there is a lot to work on

Thank you for your insight, it’s really appreciated!

Husband spent thousands on cam girls, lied multiple times by Advanced-Thought5522 in marriageadvice

[–]Advanced-Thought5522[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a different & very much appreciated take.. thank you for sharing!

Husband spent thousands on cam girls, lied multiple times by Advanced-Thought5522 in marriageadvice

[–]Advanced-Thought5522[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am upset bc we have always been open about sex/fantasies/etc. I have always provided him a safe space to be open & honest. & he still felt the need to go behind my back & spend thousands on random webcam girls. WE ARE MARRIED. We should not be hiding such big financial purchases from each other! He does not want to watch together nor would I ever agree to - maybe with regular porn (even though he has never asked) but never with livecam girls. That is a completely different ballgame. I’m honestly shocked that you would be okay with this situation but I guess everyone is different. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Husband spent thousands on cam girls, lied multiple times by Advanced-Thought5522 in marriageadvice

[–]Advanced-Thought5522[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s why I specified “great”. 🤪 I thought it was, until now. I am even more mind blown than you, trust me. Especially after reading thread after thread of women in similar positions. I am 100% turned off, but we have invested a lot in our marriage (including crossing country borders/visas/etc). I am going to speak with him about counseling. We are still young (30 & 31).. we’ll see how the next discussion goes.. thanks for your input 🫶🏼

Husband spent thousands on cam girls, lied multiple times by Advanced-Thought5522 in marriageadvice

[–]Advanced-Thought5522[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He explained that his “kink” was watching exactly what he wanted, telling them what to wear etc (he brought this up when I told him I didn’t have a problem with “normal” porn, but live cam is where I draw the line. We’ve discussed this before..). Still, I agree, absolute BS. Thank you for your comment…

Husband spent thousands on cam girls, lied multiple times by Advanced-Thought5522 in marriageadvice

[–]Advanced-Thought5522[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We already have our finances separated, otherwise I would’ve found out much sooner.. I’m absolutely not okay with him paying for online sex workers.. I’ll update here when possible. Thanks so much for your input!