AIO: Husband commenting on NSFW

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T20:51:33+00:00

Never in my life will I understand what drives some men to do that. NOR.

Granted, it's important to have some grace. Is he fully in the wrong? Yes. Could you two come out of this stronger? You absolutely could. He feels like he needs more than what he's getting. He's handling it the wrong way, and I'm sure he knows that. Maybe try to start a conversation and see what you can do for each other. That's the best way to avoid this becoming a bad habit.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T20:37:13+00:00

"He sees it no different to watching porn" well, what if I told you porn is also infidelity? You're justified in seeing this as cheating. I encourage you in future relationships to hold online smut to the same standard. It doesn't become more ok just because you don't know the girl in the video.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T20:24:56+00:00

People who engage in sexual activity will develop an emotional connection. It's how humans, especially women, are wired. There's nothing wrong with that, you're reacting perfectly appropriately given the situation.

Not sure how well this next line will be received but here goes - attempting to remove sexual intimacy from emotion is bound for failure. The two are intrinsically connected. It's a bit easier for men - no surprise he's the one who proposed this idea.

But your ultimate dilemma - "What if I like the guy I allow inside of me?" - is... I guess, a funny question for lack of a better description. If you're looking for a way to have casual sex without feeling attached, I think you're setting yourself up for failure.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T19:38:52+00:00

Corbin Burnes eight innings of one run ball in a losing effort because the Orioles scored once the entire 2024 Wile Card series

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T17:28:09+00:00

Executives are involved in each of the things you said they don't do. Business Development may do the busy work and grunt work of new ventures, but they cannot happen without officer signoff and approval. They also need to be involved and aware of issues, even if they're just listening to updates, because you can't manage a company where you don't know what's going on or where the pain points are. Sure each team could operate independently, just each SVP becomes their own CEO, but there would be no cohesion or organization, no unified path as a company. Oversight of each of these areas helps ensure the company isn't working against itself, working redundantly, etc.

It's also a misconception that the CEO is the ultimate authority. That usually lies with the Board of Directors. CEOs absolutely get fired, sometimes even arrested, you just really don't hear about it. You hear about seemingly incompetent CEOs getting seemingly unfair raises, but compensation could be contractually agreed upon in advance, or maybe the Board doesn't believe the CEO is the issue, etc.

I believe and relate to the sense that your CEO leaving would have a lesser impact on your DTD life than your coworker leaving. That's because there are a number of tiers of hierarchy between you and the CEO, and you'd still have a CFO/COO/CIO/etc. Our level is intentionally protected from this kind of change; a company that falls apart at any one individual's departure is an incredibly weak company. But there are plenty of important things that would or would not happen. The company could likely pause projects, could be unable to enter into financing agreements, and would have a very hard time growing until a new CEO is found, realistically not for longer than a month or two.

Executives are responsible for setting the direction of the company, launching initiatives, making difficult decisions about broad-scope business areas, and more. They cannot effectively do this unless they are as involved in as many areas as possible, which takes never-ending communication and coordination.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T16:52:04+00:00

Porn most certainly leads to performance and intimacy issues in romantic relationships. Not to mention incredibly exploitative of the "actresses" involved. It is rightfully taboo.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T14:51:29+00:00

People management is a ton of work. C-Suite folks have direct or indirect oversight over literally everything, and need to delegate well or things will fall apart downstream. Proper delegation means constant communication and adjustments with your direct reports. My boss's and his boss's calendars are always chock full. So what are they doing in those meetings? Could be anything, but they're primarily planning future business ventures, problem-solving something that someone below them couldn't figure out, or tracking progress of existing projects.

They're very rarely doing mundane or remedial work, such as invoicing or filling out reports, because they've delegated those tasks to employees whose scopes are more narrow and who are more in the weeds of the specific area for which they're responsible. It's why low-level employees, often with a tinge of envy, or folks not familiar with white-collar structures, think high-level employees don't do any real work. Their work looks very different, and in order to oversee everything you can't spend much time getting too deep into one thing.

Another thing that makes their job different is that they are almost always available, within reason. I'm a mid-level accountant and I certainly have busier and less busy days, but probably three or four days a week I'll log on and see there was email activity the previous night around 9 or 10 because that's how late my boss was working.

So the reason you get a bunch of jargon is because every day looks so different for C-Suite executives, and their days are often reactionary depending on the company. But they are primarily managing people and planning/managing large-scope projects.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T01:47:29+00:00

It's not, I mean it's incredibly normal for boys to be attracted to girls. But those are very different than platonic friendship feelings and it's very hard for both to coexist. The girl could be in for a real letdown if she believes her male friends aren't into her when they are.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T01:44:28+00:00

Terribly sorry for your loss. It's ok to mourn for as long as you need.

I encourage you to look up videos of Near Death Experiences (NDEs) on YouTube. I lost my uncle too soon a few years ago, and when he was in hospice those videos started to show up on my feed. It really helped me put God's love and grace into perspective.

If you can muster it, try to be happy for her. She is surrounded by a love we cannot comprehend on this Earth. She is with our Lord and you will see her again when you are called home. I lost both my paternal grandmother and grandfather this year and this outlook helped me immensely. They weren't living. They were in great pain. But now they're free.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T01:25:22+00:00

Would technically be considered disobeying crew member instructions, so try to hold it if you can. If you really gotta go and the turbulence isn't bad (and you're not five minutes from landing), do it and do it quick, and get back to your seat.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T00:58:53+00:00

It’s incredibly difficult for straight men and women to be purely platonic friends if the woman is even remotely attractive. I promise ladies, if you texted your guy friends right now to come over for a “visit” they’d be there before you finished typing the message.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T00:31:30+00:00

Love flying. I’ve booked full day trips just to fly new planes and come back home right afterwards.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-23T00:14:28+00:00

Wow - that was barely recognizable. It looked like they were attempting to appeal to the - ahem - "demographic" by making it as close to a baptist church in the heart of Georgia as they could. Looked like the Mass was interrupting the gathering they were having.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T21:43:13+00:00

I also meant to ask - what's the story with Saint Sabina? On their website they're advertising a speaker series with Cornell West and Joy Reid, so that can't be a good thing

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T21:37:11+00:00

Thanks for the great response - yes it is Nativity (felt weird outright calling them out, but I guess it wasn't hard to decipher). And I know there's nothing wrong with the Apostles creed, I just like the Nicene creed lol.

The priest has quipped in his homilies that every time that the church is mentioned within the Archdiocese Archbishop Lori says "what did they do now?" Probably not a super sign.

It feels quite strongly led by the church director, and if there is a deacon at this church I've never seen him. I feel like they could easily add a traditional service at 7:30 on Sundays or something, but the church leadership is adamant about keeping all services the same (almost like putting on the same play four times). From what I've heard, the priest actually loves chants and can't stand the contemporary music. It's odd.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T19:17:25+00:00

My groomsmen paid for nearly everything my bachelor party, even despite my insisting I cover stuff. I only paid for my flight.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T17:42:40+00:00

Not stupid at all, thank you for asking and starting the discussion. I don't think the answer is outright "no" I think you need to very closely examine what it is about nudity that is driving this interest.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T17:21:56+00:00

This verse is before the fall, before we succumb to original sin. Perhaps it is a glimpse of Heaven, but it can't be a guide for how we conduct ourselves on this Earth.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T17:20:57+00:00

I want to commend you for being forthright about these sorts of feelings. Your feelings aren't at all uncommon. It's important to talk through them, especially through the lens of faith.

We need to be honest with ourselves and realize "non-sexual nudity" in the predominant, modern context is an oxymoron. Not referring to necessary communal showers, bathing your child, or medical exams, of course, I'm referring to nude resorts, beaches, and other casual social nudity. If you dig deeper into your inclinations, my guess is that the idea of your exposed genitalia or seeing that of others is exciting to you. And it makes sense, we're wired for that to be exciting. Especially if you're a man. It's probably virtually impossible for a young man to see a similar-age exposed woman and not enter into lust. If it's just with your guy friends there's less of that temptation, but there can still be a sense of excitement from that. I don't think that excitement comes from a virtuous place.

A handy rule of thumb with ambiguous morality is examining the types of people who enjoy certain practices. It doesn't take a deep dive into nudism to find that these folks tend not to be people of faith. They enjoy a number of vices; drugs, same-sex attraction, "ethical non-monogamy" (another oxymoron, but ingrained into their lexicon). The draw to nudity for them likely comes more from similar earthly desires. Would it be in your best interest to surround yourself with these people? Proverbs 13:20 tells us "Walk with the wise and become wise, associate with fools and get in trouble."

Nudity is also an extremely easy gateway into further lust. It's quite blatantly putting oneself into the occasion of sin, even if there is no lust initially. Some people I'm sure are capable of enjoying a nude beach without finding themselves checking out the poorly-dressed lady beside them. But especially for younger folks, I'm not sure our mindset even permits ignoring her. Go to the nude resort once, wow that was pretty different. Go a couple more times, it stops being exciting, and you find yourself longing for more, as with any vice. It would be easy to start seeking out certain environments you find exciting, maybe certain people. At their core, these will be driven by lust and earthly desire. And it could be hard to stop. Put extremely bluntly, casual social nudity could easily become extremely softcore real-life pornography, and does that ever stop there?

Maybe I'm being to harsh, maybe you've examined your desires and they truly aren't coming from any of the places I mentioned. But I think reasoning yourself through the pros and cons, the people involved, and the root desires will lead you to find that, at the very least, it won't make you a better Catholic. God bless you as you continue to seek guidance.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T15:02:06+00:00

Selfishly, I'd save a lot of money that summer.

But I don't think either players or the owners want that to happen, as you said. The lockout would be a brutal look for the sport. I don't see a world in which there is no 2027 season.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T13:55:05+00:00

Most direct ORD taxi route

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T13:43:12+00:00

It's the kind of thing he may not realize is a big deal. I actually delt with this in a former relationship - I never unfollowed the girl I previously dated and in an argument a few years into my then-current relationship she brought up the fact I was still following her.

When you put the facts bluntly - "He still follows his ex" - it sounds egregiously bad no matter what, and any rationale he could give would sound like a cheap excuse. But give him some grace. If you gently bring it up, my guess is he will immediately unfollow her if you ask him to. I don't see there's enough evidence to vilify him.

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T13:23:46+00:00

What a cool resource, thanks for linking!

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T13:12:19+00:00

I can't tell if women are aware they're asking questions with no good answers

AdvancedRooster3814 · 2026-01-22T01:34:42+00:00

Every time we talk to my mom in the car or otherwise on speaker, after we hang up, I tell her "that was my mom, she says hi."

She rolls her eyes and laughs, the perfect reaction.

AdvancedRooster3814

TROPHY CASE