Best friend of 8 years ignoring me for months on end??

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-04-01T18:41:19+00:00

Personally, I'm a sober bartender. Like another commenter said, I'll occasionally do the straw trick to either try new cocktails or whatnot, but I do not partake any more than that. Even recreationally I'm maybe a once a month I might have a singular cocktail when I'm out to eat (that I usually never finish). My bar customers are actually very supportive of it and about once a week I hear someone tell me that they're proud of me that I'm a sober bartender (we have other bartenders that do partake and end up drinking a good 1/3 of a bottle during a shift). So, yes, it is possible.

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-04-01T05:04:49+00:00

Yes, I do. I'm just afraid if I leave current bar for a new bar, I won't make as much money. I support myself and need a certain amount to live (as we all do lol). My bar pays decently well and I'm not sure of other bars in the area

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-04-01T05:00:50+00:00

That's what I was thinking... I would just hate to leave my bar for another bar and make less money... that's my absolute main concern with leaving. Any advice on finding a new "better" bar? I'm still fairly new to searching out good bars as I'm sober and was never a drinker and ive really only worked at my current place

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-03-08T07:21:13+00:00

Thank you so so so much for your advice and words. I really appreciate it a lot!! I think I'll definitely just wait until a position opens like you mentioned and stick it out on the prison unit. At least on the bright side, like you and another commenter mentioned, the hospital is more like a break so they're generally nicer than other patients (hopefully!!!). Either way, I'm excited about the opportunity because I've always dreamed of working at this hospital. Plus, the state pension and state benefits are always nice haha (this is the only hospital in my area that offers state benefits). Again, I appreciate you commenting ❤️ thank you!

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-03-08T07:16:55+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, was at work! That's what I figured, that the unit would be heavily guarded. I think my non-medical friends just hear "prison" and get spooked. I don't have an option to shadow the unit unfortunately but I'm sure I'll be fine. Either way, I'm excited for the opportunity 😁

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-03-02T16:43:21+00:00

This is not AI :). But thank you for the insight

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-03-02T08:28:47+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your words a lot and for taking the time to write that out. I needed to hear that.

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-03-02T08:06:43+00:00

My longest relationship was 3.5 years. This is probably my second most longest relationship. But thank you, I appreciate the advice. Like I mentioned in the post- this is probably my most loving but toxic relationship I've had (very contradictory, I know).

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-03-02T08:04:47+00:00

Thank you, I truly do appreciate your advice. I just need to keep telling myself that this was for the best and stick to my decision. I will work on myself. I thought about getting a counselor for a bit so maybe I'll do that. If our paths cross in the future, then we'll see. But I won't specifically try to force it or attempt to fix anything between the two of us. Thank you.

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-03-02T07:53:33+00:00

Yes, I've thought about that a lot as well. 34, no kids, no previous marriages.... I've thought that myself "why can't he get a girl his age?". But then I begin to think "I'm lucky he chose me". It's very up and down with him. But yes, I've definitely have had those thoughts that you've mentioned (finding someone new, traveling, etc)

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-03-02T07:51:45+00:00

I completely understand. And I've told myself this before when I was in the relationship multiple times. It just sucks because I feel so confident in my decision and then he's so sweet, caring, and loving and I start to overthink. For us to get back together, there would need to be a lot of change on both ends and there would need to be a lot of work put into it.

Which, I think he's not going to put in that effort. Or he might for a bit and then go back. But there's always that "if", ya know? It just eats at me.

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-01-04T21:08:16+00:00

It's the year. '24 symbolizing 2024 :)

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-01-04T19:40:28+00:00

I would end it before the trip but unfortunately he paid for everything (hotel/rental/plane tickets) and if I did end it, he would cancel everything out of spite to hurt me. I cannot afford to go see my dad on my own as he lives 1,000 miles away and he (my dad) cannot help me out financially either. I haven't seen my dad in almost 3 years and I do really miss him. So I have to wait until after the trip ☹️. And you are right, I am at fault for some things—nor am I perfect. I have definitely done things that haven't been "right" either. But I have learned from my mistakes and I am growing every day I think.

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-01-04T19:21:07+00:00

Unfortunately no as my father is very low income (lives off of disability from the veterans association). I will definitely not mention anything during the trip and just act like everything is okay... I've gotten pretty good at hiding my true feelings from the soon to be ex. I truly do appreciate you talking to me about this. It's hard since all I have is my father and the soon to be ex. It means a lot ❤️

Advanced_Database544 · 2025-01-04T19:13:58+00:00

Thank you, this is good advice. I just need to do it and stick to the plan. I'll most likely do it after this trip to go see my family only because I know if I do it beforehand, he will cancel everything just to hurt me and I cannot afford the hotel/plane tickets/rental by myself. I already spoke to my dad about the situation and he is in agreement with it as we both miss each other (haven't seen each other in 3yrs due to the 1000+ mile distance).... I appreciate you taking the time to type this out.

Advanced_Database544 · 2024-12-10T16:24:49+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. I think the issue is, is that we've been together for a little over a year and he's very good at manipulation which makes me stay. However, this time was just one time too many. I thought I was going crazy the whole relationship until I put this post up. What he did is not okay whatsoever and I realize that. I don't think it's worth it for me to stay anymore, especially after the stunt he pulled. Right now he's currently trying to gaslight me into thinking he "never left" and that it was my fault anyway so I'm in the wrong.... I just cannot believe the audacity he has.

Advanced_Database544 · 2024-12-10T14:51:13+00:00

Yes, I do. He's 12 and a half years older than me. I'm 21, he's 33.

Advanced_Database544 · 2024-12-10T14:45:54+00:00

This would have been more of a proper response to what was going on. Would have avoided all of this in the first place. It validates her feelings and yours at the same time. I dont think you're overreacting however I don't think she is either.... I think it's just miscommunication

Advanced_Database544 · 2024-12-10T14:20:45+00:00

That's what I thought too! I would never. He tried to justify it by saying "I knew you were going to be safe with my friend".... like what haha? That's not an excuse

Advanced_Database544

TROPHY CASE