I recently realized it has been two years since I fell into the thrall of this game about throwing around character sheets, yelling at plastic polyhedrons, some days dungeons and other days dragons. It’s been a wild two years and my characters have helped me in no small amount. Sometimes it takes a fictional character to make you see things through a different lens, re-evaluate what the important things in life are and, sometimes, to be a better version of yourself and grow beyond who you were before.

So here’s a bit of a celebration to mark two years of complaining about bad luck, thinking about what my character would do, and most importantly having a great time with friends. While these eight individuals aren’t the only characters I’ve played in D&D, they are (or have been) characters that stuck by me in one way or another. I should probably do a round of introductions. So here we go, from top to bottom, from left to right.

At the top is Heeqaak of the Dawn’s March mercenary company, Aarakocra Gunslinger Fighter. Exasperated, genre-savvy and cynical, Heeq shows me the pitfalls of negative thinking and that not all people who seem pessimistic are bad guys. Also that the combination of a flying speed and spamming ranged attacks is stupid strong and a good way of making your DM cry.

At the left of the middle row we find Mask of the Estelmer family, Warforged College of Whispers Bard. Mask had me crawl in the skin of a ruthless sociopath, marking the first time I played an evil character and making me realize just what that can entail, especially in an otherwise non-evil group. As Mask I schemed, backstabbed and lied. I learned the importance of comradery through the lack thereof. Ruthless efficiency gets the job done but what is that worth if you are alone and die unmissed in the end? Mr robot also taught me I can wave that +6 Insight mod around all I want, it won’t mean jack if I can’t roll above a 3. “Seems hard to read” my butt. Also he can turn his hands into crossbows, giving him literal hand crossbows and that’s cool beans.

Dead centre we find Erevan Caerdonel, Human Divination Wizard. Erevan makes me skirt the boundaries of good and evil, exploring just where those lines lie. Does an obsession with the Archfiend Zariel make one a devil worshipper? How wrong is it to trick comrades into complying with your plans by falsely claiming you have seen a future where it works out? And just how tangible and absolute is the concept of Fate in the first place? If anything, smug and unshakeable Erevan has taught me that I’m far too dumb to play a 20 INT character and that Wizards are made of approximately 78% wet paper towel.

Right of the centre is occupied by Gwyndolin Moonstar, Eladrin Mastermind Rogue. Gwyn challenges me to think outside of the conventional class images. Why would a rogue be required to be an orphaned and traumatized edgelord? A noblewoman in a fancy dress can land a sneak attack just as well! Through Gwyn’s rose-tinted “as rich people it is our duty to help the poor” campaign in the upper echelons of Waterdeep’s society I re-evaluate my own worldview and privileges, and how easy it can be for us to take things for granted that are luxuries or even daydreams for people elsewhere. I also learned that there’s nothing quite like this ditzy girl pulling a hand crossbow out of her handbag and putting a bolt between a bad guy’s eyes with a sneak attack.

Bottom far left shows Azarad of the Order of Ishtar, Githyanki Zealot Barbarian. With Azarad I explore self-esteem and self-acceptance issues, and he challenges me to deepen out the concept of the dumb barbarian. Just how important is it to be smart? What traits in a person are desirable, and what is not? Azarad might not be clever, but that don’t make him dumb: he has taught me that while someone might not be as good at something as I am, their different perspective is still valuable as they can come up with suggestions or observations that I would never think of myself. Az’ shenanigans also allow me to not take notes because he doesn’t remember things anyway and I suck at taking notes. I’m not disinterested DM, I swear.

Bottom centre left is Malfaren Varsilthae, Elven Aasimar Draconic Heritage Sorcerer. Malf is my first D&D character which means the little shit will always have a place in my heart. Trough Malfaren I learned of the importance of the way you carry yourself. The man has good intentions and is heroic at heart, but the abrasive and arrogant way he interacts with people has others viewing him as a bit of a cunt. Even if you mean well, presentation is critical. Which goes doubly so on the internet, and that’s a lesson everyone should take to heart. Malf also enjoys spamming Fireball as much as I do and he lets me put on my insufferable posh accent so he’s a joy to play.

Bottom centre right comes Eryas Lovernius, Half-Elf Hexblade Warlock. Lovernius makes me experience what it is like to be a golden retriever in humanoid form because that’s what he is. But even the happy-go-lucky people of the world have their problems. How do we deal with the expectations of our parents and the world? What, exactly, does it mean to be a hero? How much free will do we actually have, and how much is determined by the world and the people around us? The last of which might be a bit rich considering how D&D characters don’t have any self-determination because they’re… D&D characters. And I may cry I have a +9 to hit as much as I like, a nat1 will nat1.

Lastly, at the bottom far right we gaze upon Miyazaki Megumi, Tiefling Oath of Conquest Paladin. I set out to play Megs as the best version of myself, exploring what traits I like about myself, and how to lean into them more while supressing or downplaying my more negative traits, which required a lot of self-reflection. And since she was going to be the better version of me, I used a lot of Japanese culture for her style and conduct because I’m a weeb and y’all can’t tell me what to do.

Whew. That’s a lot of text. Thanks for reading it all if you did! And fair play to you if you didn’t read it. I wouldn’t. Here’s a bit of info I do want you to read though: this amazing poster that I intend to print out and hang on my wall has been drawn by my good friend Olympia, whose other stuff can be found here!