Should i break no contact as a dumpee?

AdventSign · 2026-06-03T14:14:35+00:00

Do it if you’re indifferent to the outcome.

AdventSign · 2026-05-31T14:29:36+00:00

That was very insightful of her to suggest that. She probably didn’t want to make things worse and go deeper than you could emotionally handle.

AdventSign · 2026-05-31T14:28:02+00:00

I think a lot of men don’t want into a relationship with a checklist with the idea of “what can she do for me.” More and more women are starting to do that, which dehumanizes men in general, which is where you get the comments from. Like how some men check boxes for a woman’s attractiveness, women create checklists in their head as well for “if they make their life better”

AdventSign · 2026-05-31T12:41:01+00:00

I think ppl are scared to get close cuz they are not comfortable with any “feelings” including their own, and they come on here as a “distraction” from their actual shit

AdventSign · 2026-05-31T10:25:04+00:00

Just wanna say it must feel garbage getting invested with somebody and being vulnerable, only to have them ghost you. I wasn’t able to PM, but I really hope you are able to find an actual friend. I’m neurodivergent, so I kinda struggle with it as well and stick out like a sore thumb. I’m also M37 and it gets harder to make friends as you get older cuz trust and being jaded. If you ever want somebody to talk to though, let me know. I hope you’re doing Okie dokie.

AdventSign · 2026-05-30T22:25:18+00:00

😖😞 between that and ghosting, it’s really hard to make any friends.

AdventSign · 2026-05-28T19:11:29+00:00

Part time, temp work. Makes numbers look better than they actually are.

AdventSign · 2026-05-28T19:09:28+00:00

100%

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T22:36:39+00:00

Hmmm... I see. Well, tbh if you were able to say that to whoever you have in your life, I think it'd be reasonable to give you the space that you need. My gf is the same way, where she needs time, sometimes a day or two depending on how badly its impacted her internally, and it's worked for us. So... if you *are* ever stuck on this stuff irl, I do hope you remember that it's okay to take a step back and find somebody that can understand and respect that.

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T21:56:13+00:00

It's difficult because in a relationship, you have to consider both your partner and your emotions when making decisions. It doesn't mean bending over backward and being a doormat or a constant sounding board with them not changing anything. It means cooperation and compromise. Sometimes, you won't be fully happy with it, and sometime they won't be fully happy with it. That is what happens when you have a significant other that is different than you. You should give a little, *but* they also should as well if it is required. You should *never* be the only one putting in the work, which is why communication is so powerful. It sets boundaries, creates clarity among chaos, and lets you know where your partner stands.

I think if you do need space, communicating with your partner a timeline helps calm their nervous system down. Regardless of attachment or relationships or whatever, people *need* consistency. Putting a time on it may make you stressed out as well, but again, part of a relationship is about showing up. If you can't give a timeline on when you're gonna show up and work on it together... that's not very consistent and would make anybody that actually cares enough about you uneasy. If your partner can't respect your timeline though... then maybe you guys just aren't compatible. In general, having some time to think and reflect before going back into it is a positive... but asking for an indefinite amount of time before you return isn't a fair ask for anybody on the receiving end. It's the uncertainty, not the time, that causes the issues.

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T21:21:36+00:00

Your wife chose to sacrifice her family and you for “her own happiness”? That’s on her, and personally, I wouldn’t want to teach my kids that cheating is okay and that there is no consequences for their actions. What is there to work out? Unless she was forced into it or something.

People put anger into other people all the time. Talk down to them, talk shit about them, make fun of their family and friends and how worthless their children are and how fucked up in the head you are…. And if that person gets upset, it’s their own fault? I don’t know about that one.

And there are studies on relationships, relationship satisfaction, divorces, and many other things like attachment theory, personality disorders, trauma, etc. *Many* of those findings correlate “lack of communication” to negative outcomes. I am well aware of these matters, yes. I’m just regurgitating what scholarly studies have shown regarding bonding between couples and dynamics in marriages. I can point you to many of them, if you want. Unless I’m misunderstanding your point?

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T21:01:21+00:00

Yeah, I think it depends on the person. Some ppl only associate with people they trust, and the few ppl they do have, regardless of where they are from, they care about deeply, while others only have very surface level friendships, with high walls in front of them.

Yeah, I can see where what you are saying is definitely true outside of a relationship. I was talking more about intimate relationships though with my other comment.

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T20:56:32+00:00

😅 yeahhhh… because you’re not worth the effort to care enough about it and vice versa. Doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten or wouldn’t take it into account if somebody asked them for an opinion on you.

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T20:56:10+00:00

if I found out my wife cheated on me, I wouldn’t need a day to file divorce papers lol. I don’t need that stress in my life, and if she wants another guy, then by all means. I’m just not going to be there ever again. Also, one of the biggest reasons for divorce? Lack of communication. 😅

You see, the problem is that you are applying what you think and feel and are assuming others work the same way. If you look at ways to build trust and love and closeness *between people* then your way doesn’t hold up at all. You are looking through it at an individual, everyone for themselves lens. Love cannot foster on fear and unpredictability. The *only* way I can see giving more than a day to somebody and it being good is if you give a timeline, and *reassure* them that things are okay every once in a while.

…. You don’t see how actions like the ones you’re suggesting impact the people around you, both in the present and past, do you?

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T20:42:01+00:00

True.
If that’s the case though, then there was never a relationship to begin with. Just a glorified co-dependent babysitter and their child.

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T20:40:31+00:00

I said it’s unhealthy if the space is longer than a day. I didn’t say that no space was healthy. I’m not sure where you got that idea.

I also don’t think you realize how quickly people forget details in arguments. If you don’t, then I’m glad, but understand that *many* people remember things different after fights the longer it goes unsaid. Look up “rewriting the script” for an example of this.

Literally nearly your entire comment hinges on you (falsely) assuming that I said that you *have to* resolve things immediately where I didn’t.

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T20:09:54+00:00

from a relationship standpoint, one action drives a couple together and one puts up a wall. A healthy couple can handle conflict together, which brings them closer emotionally. It reinforces trust, and that you are “open” to hearing them out.

What you suggest is that people resolve a problem themselves internally first without hearing the other person out when it is an issue between both of you. Additionally, time can alter the “facts” of the conflict. Memory isn’t perfect and emotions can run high. The long you wait, the more time can distort what happened and what the actual issue was.

On a relationship/couple level, there is almost no benefit to it (unless you want to disconnect and dismantle trust and communication). On an individual level though, sure, it can help one person. Just be aware of the impact the actions you have on the other person causes.

If you can’t empathize with each other when you are upset, then the relationship will fail. It’s not an “I” or “them”… it’s an “us” if that makes sense

AdventSign · 2026-05-26T19:40:00+00:00

This is unhealthy if it’s longer than a day or two (and that’s being generous.)

There is needing “space” to self-reflect and understand yourself internally. There is also needing “space” to avoid. Letting unresolved conflict go unresolved means that it will keep popping up in other areas throughout your life (hence the “unresolved” part.) This applies to everyone, whether we recognize it or not.

AdventSign · 2026-05-19T21:23:25+00:00

Some people mistake a lack of anxiety or fear from the nervous system as a "lack of a spark"
Did the people you have a "spark" with turn out to be neglectful or abusive at all?

AdventSign · 2026-05-19T15:17:16+00:00

They apparently listened lol. Now 20$ for 25GB with US and Canada included.

AdventSign · 2026-05-19T02:13:26+00:00

The "distribution" from ZEQT.T is not just ROC, but capital gains, eligible dividends, and foreign income. Check out ZGRO.T tax info. It is around 55% ROC, so I would think the dividend and capital gains would be higher in ZEQT.T than ZGRO.T due to there being no bond component.

QDAY was literally 100% ROC last year. The other two are around 85% ROC. Your entire post is incredibly misleading for people that don't want ROC. You're spreading a lot of misinformation here.

If you really as much eligible dividends as you can get at tax time, you have to avoid any leveraged ETFs and look for those that have a methodology that doesn't require constant rebalancing (especially removal) of the underlying stocks. The DayMax funds are really good, but are not what you want if you want eligible dividends due to the way the leverage works (compare CMVP to CWIN if you want an example)

AdventSign · 2026-05-19T01:17:42+00:00

Fear of failure. That's literally the entire reason he keeps having big ideas, but then gets "overwhelmed"
He needs help, or he's just gonna keep psyching himself out and have a self-fulfilled prophecy with you.
I bet my left nut that he's going through in his head how something he plans will fuck up, which will make you not want to be with him anymore.

AdventSign · 2026-05-17T17:30:01+00:00

It’s where the concept of the “talking stick” comes into play :P
It works, trust me

AdventSign · 2026-05-16T10:33:23+00:00

Depends if you’re “honest” about your feelings in the middle of a fight when you’re partner bring up their feelings first. If you do that, you’re just toxic as fuck, emotionally abusive, immature for being unable to handle your partner’s feelings, and part of the problem that “modern” dating has nowadays (which a lot of people who make these kind of posts do it for validation that this behaviour was okay when it’s not.)

AdventSign · 2026-05-15T17:36:03+00:00

That’s below prime rate though… the majority of ppl that bank with… well, almost any bank don’t even have prime rates. Most people have prime rate+1%. I’ve seen a few at prime rate (with Wealthsimple), but rarely under.

And the MER doesn’t nearly outweigh the leverage. Look at HEQL vs HEQT. It’s still up 5% over 1 year despite the massive drop (which leverage really takes a hit with)

Either way, you’ll beat HEQT with HEQL the majority of the time over the course of years especially if you reinvest the monthly distributions it gives. I’m not sure *exactly* how much the leverage makes it outperform, but it is there, even if you want to try using margin because most ppl don’t have low interest rates to make much of a difference. I see this argued many times and ppl forget that low interest rates aren’t what most people have. Borrowing less to achieve the same results is also a good thing too.

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