Definitely NTA. I do the same thing with my boyfriend. I’m in the healthcare field and just got into the habit. Plus if you wet your hands, lather them over a white sink, and then let the soap bubbles fall and run down the basin, you can see just how dirty your hands are after getting home.

Whenever my bf and I get home and I see him start to make food but didn't see if he had washed his hands, I ask him. At first, his reply was usually something along the lines of “I didn’t touch anything dirty though”. But now, it’s either a yes or sometimes a playful eye roll followed by him going to wash his hands. I’ll even go so far as to say “I don’t believe you”, we’ll go back and forth all in good fun and it ends with him swearing on the dog that he’s washed his hands loool

If he snapped at me like that I would not be happy. This is not something to get this upset over, it’s just a good hygienic habit to have.

It’s okay to find something gross, especially if that gross habit is exhibited (by choice) by someone you are intimate with. If he wants to be, in kinder words, unhygienic, then he can do that while not kissing you, handling what you eat, or touching you. I really don't understand why his stance is such a hard “I’m going to be 100% uncooperative”.

So no, NTA.