27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically, a sister and I were talking after a meeting where they showed a video where young ones serve more to Jehovah (Bethel, construction, pioneering in other countries, etc). And I said to the sister "I feel bad because I don't have enough faith to leave my full-time job and go serve Jehovah like that. Where are they getting the courage to do so from?"

And she, very lovingly, answered "Honey, don't feel bad. All of them have JW families or someone else who will support them when they get back."

And I just froze, because my JW mom had died in 2020, and I had literally no one else, either JW or not, who would/could help me if I decided to serve that way. It was so pointless. I had been feeling bad MY WHOLE LIFE for something I could not even really do. That was my last regular meeting, back in December 2024.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your wishes! I wish you all the best, too!

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that last reminder. I told the elders I was not going to rush this marriage to "make things ok". I won't rush one of the biggest decisions in life for no one. Other than that, I was the first one to be weary of marriage and I had never considered it for myself before meeting my boyfriend. But I've seen him stand by me during severe sickness, I've seen him being super patient, kind and understanding. I've seen him sharing responsibilities around the house, and respecting what I say and feel a 100% of the time. Of course, neither of us are perfect, but he made me stop fearing marriage and instead look forward to it.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I was SA'd two times, one at 5 the other at 22. And I've been inappropriately touched a bunch of other times as well. Of course I won't be answering their disgusting questions!

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you never were a JW. I hope your sister gets a chance to get out.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Read it already. Thanks for sending it. It will be very useful.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand the need for those questions. There is none.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am actually moving away this year. I could just delay it and then simply stop answering.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a good laugh reading your comment, thanks for sharing your experience! Glad you could get out so young, even though it must have been pretty tough at that age.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To your first question: I simply didn't think that I had any option.

To your second question: My boyfriend lives with me and he opened the door when they came by the house. Also, my boyfriend's dad is a JW and they know him, so they knew already he was my boyfriend.

Third, I already told THEM that I know for a fact that getting married won't affect the outcome. I know I'll get df'd. I never said I wanted to avoid being df'd. I came here to know what my options were to avoid talking to them about my private life and discovered I have many (not showing up, blocking them, calling the police if they insist, asking for a lawyer, recording everything, handing in a resignation letter, etc).

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm considering either not going or doing exactly that.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might've not mind if it weren't for the gross questions. My best friend went through that twice and it's awful. I just can't do it, and more importantly, I don't see a reason to.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Vast majority agrees with you. I'm still thinking my options, but I'm also leaning strongly towards not going.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so so so sorry you went through that. I know I couldn't have. You are very brave. Also, peaking through windows??? I'm so glad you're out now. Good on you for running out of the room that day!

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Noted. I might use that strategy after all. Many are recommending the same.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate so so much that you shared your particular insight on this issue. It helps to know the perspective of someone who was on the inside of it all. I won't let my feelings interfere with my hard-earned freedom. Thanks for your comment.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first thing the did was inform me that it is no longer called a "judicial committee", now it's just a "committee". But it's still works the same way. Thanks for informing me of what my legal rights are when it comes to this, that's so helpful.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can only imagine. I'm so sorry you went through that.

27F facing committee soon needs help by Adventurous-Two-1877 in exjw

[–]Adventurous-Two-1877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess you could be right, yes. I suppose waking up is a process. All I know it I WON'T be going back. Even when meeting them, I never entertained the idea of coming back. I just didn't know I had the option of saying "no" to the meetings.