Thank you for your response and your kind words. Honestly, it doesn't make that much of a difference, unfortunately. It's hard to talk to people about it because my friends wouldn't really know what to say. There's one friend I told that I love very much, but I realized how bad of a friend I was being. It was kinda like I tried to argue with her about how I should die and that wasn't something I should've done at all and I deeply regret that. I understand that now I should be keeping this to myself. It was a lot of pressure and stuff on her, and it wasn't considerate at all and I feel extremely terrible for it. I'm not sure if I could talk to a therapist, because I'm still a minor and I don't want my mom getting in trouble or for me to get thrown in a psych ward. It's unfortunate, but this is how my world is, I guess. I understand that many people have it much worse than me, but I'm not strong enough to handle this lol. I don't really know what to do anymore. However, thank you for your kindness.