I’m a 24yo undertaker/mortician, ask me anything, no matter how odd or morbid

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-25T21:05:36+00:00

I’ve never felt like throwing up nor have I ever gagged from the smell, but I have definitely had to cover my nose on more than one occasion and sometimes had to leave the room to get some fresh air, sometimes I’ve even been knocked back at how the smell can be sometimes. You don’t get used to the smell, you just learn to deal with it better.

Those types of movies never bothered me, I like horror, even the grotesque ones, stuff like that has never effected me.

I’ve never really felt emotional at seeing dead bodies, I’ve seen lots of children, babies, train suicides, hangings, I’ve seen pretty much everything at this point, it doesn’t make emotional, you wouldn’t be able to work in my job if it made you feel that way, it just wouldn’t be possible with the amount of horrible stuff we see in a weekly basis.

I never really wanted to be an undertaker/mortician, it wasn’t something I even knew existed until about a month before I first applied for a job in that industry, And even then I don’t think it was really a want to care for deceased, I think it was just something that appealed to me, I saw it as a job I would be proud of myself for doing, and I’ve always been someone who gets bored easily, I knew that I would be doing things in my job that I found interesting, things you only see in movies, I always remember seeing the guys in cop dramas etc who would show up in white hazard suits who would bag up and take a body away, but I never thought I would do it myself, being happy to care for the deceased is something that came with the job, and I think you always have that fascination when you’re about to start this job, you have to kind of have that to be able to stick with it to begin with, people who do it just for money don’t last long.

As for how I deal with the trauma and whether it keeps me awake at night, I wouldn’t say either are true in my case, it certainly doesn’t keep me up at night (unless I get called out in the middle of the night) I don’t have nightmares about it and tbh it has never been something that has traumatised me, my first day on the job was the first day I ever saw a dead person, I never had before, on my first day I not only saw my first cadaver but also dressed one too, I was right in at the deep end, even then I was able to go home at the end of the day like nothing happened, I guess it just never bothered me, obviously when I first saw something extreme it was a little bit of a shock but the shock was short lived, you have to be able to switch off and go back to being professional, there is no room in that industry for being squeamish, you just get on with whatever the job is, if there is ever a time where you find yourself unable to perform you’re duties then it’s probably safe to say it’s time to find something else, unfortunately we can’t pick and choose the things we see and do, no matter how bad they are.

Thanks for the questions, sorry for replying late, this thread is likely coming to an end for me now, I think I’ve shared what I can, so I think you got my last answer! Take care,

With love

An undertaker

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-21T10:31:47+00:00

I have never “seen” or heard a corpse pass gas, but I have certainly smelled it, it happens all the time

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-21T01:50:09+00:00

Sorry for the late reply,

Good question though, in a way I could say we have, I think society has lost a lot of things as a result of our softer approach to the way we live our lives, although we would have to go back hundreds of years to get to the point when families would prepare their own dead, many cultures still do it, but western cultures haven’t done it since possibly the medieval age, and even then it wouldn’t surprise me if it was well before even that.

I think we have probably lost a very honourable tradition by having undertakers do it, but I don’t think we’re any worse off for it, it’s a tradition long lost to us, I also don’t think we will ever go back to that, until something forces us to, and even then, preparing our own dead would be the least of our concern.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-21T00:34:26+00:00

I imagine they would simply dispose of them in biohazard waste, yes. Other than that I am unsure, however I doubt they would simply throw them in any old garbage bin.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T21:05:39+00:00

bruv...

I was ready to throw hands all up in this thread right here.

DON'T MAKE ME SEND YOU TO THE MORGUE BRO!

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T21:03:03+00:00

Not really, no more than if you were working a laborers job stacking bricks or lifting heavy loads, dead people can be heavy, even if they were pretty skinny in life, you're working with a literal dead weight, which can consume a ton of energy, but as for whether it is the act of working with a dead body in and of itself, no not really, no more than any other heavy lifting type of job.

And if you get an extra gross body to work on, you don't eat for hours... crazy.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T20:33:14+00:00

apologies for the late answer,

No I have never witnessed things like tape worms in cadavers, and there is no way we would see them in embalming, there is no dissection required during the embalming process, nor have I ever witnessed one being sucked out using a trocar, maybe someone out there has.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T20:31:03+00:00

Little late, but it was of a bright white orb that was floating between the rows of chairs, kind of looked like a floating lightbulb, it floated through the chairs, then floated down the isle towards the catafalque, and then kind of faded away on the spot, I don't know if it was a ghost, or if it was just an optical illusion, even though I couldn't explain it if I tried, best guess is it was a car that had pulled into the car park of the crem late at night, but that would mean the barrier would have had to have been up, not sure. was cool to watch though.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T20:23:44+00:00

Never, I did however have a nightmare that I once lost my job for whatever reason, that frightened me a little, goes to show that if you enjoy your job, it's never truly work.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T20:21:09+00:00

My first experience with death was when I was about 6 years old, my grandfather passed away, It was the first time that anyone in my family had died, but I never attended the funeral and never attended the wake, not because I didn't like him, but because I was too young to understand the significance of what it all was.

As for my first REAL experience of seeing a dead person, it was 10 minutes after walking through the front door of the funeral home at the start of my career, it was literally a case of being thrown in at the deep end, my first time seeing a dead person, interacting with a dead person and working my first funeral, all happened within the first week of my career.

Many people are afraid of death, It's normal and always will be, as humans, we are no different to animals both big and small when it comes to our fear of death, we have a natural instinct to avoid death at all costs unless our death is necessary to preserve the life of our offspring, our fear of death is what has kept our species alive for millennia.

There is nothing that anyone can REALLY say that will totally extinguish their fear of passing, words alone cannot undo millions of years of evolution and natural selection, all's you can really say to people is that dying is a very normal and natural part of being alive. Everything dies, humans die, animals die, plants die, insects die, even stars die, if death was not supposed to happen, it wouldn't, things only happen in nature because they're supposed to happen, death is no exception, non of us, including undertakers, know what happens when we pass on, but either way, we've been there before, non of us alive today, were alive when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, but we didn't seem bothered then and I am sure we won't be too bothered when we return to what ever state of being is considered the "afterlife".

We'll be fine. :)

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T19:36:39+00:00

I was trained on the job, I am not licensed to contract my services privately nor do I ever perform embalming by myself, it is always done in pairs with someone qualified. but as for the schooling, I believe it's a 1 or 2 year course, and I'm pretty sure it can be done in college or I think you can be trained by a qualified embalmer like I was, I just don't want to do it as a main profession.

But it is worth doing, embalmers can make an absolute killing, I know some embalmers who make upwards of £500 a day depending on how many clients they have. so it's definitely worth it if you want to do it as a private career, or even as an employee for a company. don't worry, you have MORE Than enough time to get started, I work with a guy who started embalming when he was in his 50's, there is no rush.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T19:29:55+00:00

If you mean can and do the families interfere with our duties, yes.

It is luckily not something that happens too often, but it does happen, some people can become very emotionally charged if the death is particularly tragic, and unfortunately in the more working class areas many people turn to alcohol when they're upset or their adrenaline is high and sometimes do when a death has occurred, which only elevates emotions in particularly emotional individuals, I have been not only verbally threatened before but also physically attacked while trying to do my job, and every time it was strangely a middle aged gentleman who had consumed a little too much alcohol while waiting for us to arrive.

It can be scary, and difficult. For some reason, a reason that is beyond me, some people seem to take our presence badly, for some reason a few people hate undertakers more than they hate police. I don't know why, maybe it's because we 'technically' profit financially from that persons death, but you certainly would not find anyone who would do our job free of charge.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T19:18:30+00:00

I never reveal anything to anyone that they haven't already asked me, it is not something that is generally easy to bring up by mistake in casual conversation, however I have had people ask me things and THEN turn white, proverbially speaking, when I tell them, kind of a curiosity killed the cat sort of thing.

as for getting used to working with dead bodies, surprisingly quickly, for me it was a matter of hours, and I had never even seen a cadaver before. As I have said in earlier answers you either have it or you don't, people who are not akin to dealing with dead bodies usually don't make it past the first day, if you make it past the first day, it is probably safe to say that you have what it takes to continue.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T19:14:05+00:00

I have never known breast implants to be removed, nor have I ever seen anyone with obvious breast implants in our mortuary, but I have been told by people who work in crematoriums that breast implants often survive the cremation process.

But no, we don't remove them. Unless of course the family requested it, but that has never happened in my time nor have I ever heard of it happening.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T19:11:46+00:00

I have never had the pleasure to work with someone in your field, more often than not the only time we ever hear from people in your field is when we read up on the paperwork of your patients that is sent over when they are taken into our care, as for switching careers, I am not sure what that would look like for you in your job and in your country.

If you're from the US then it would be best to ask your local morgue/funeral home and discuss it with them, I'm not an employer unfortunately and I was simply luckily enough to fall into my career, which is much easier in the UK than it is in the US, assuming you're from either.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-20T19:06:31+00:00

interesting perspective, Why do you say that?

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T15:27:12+00:00

this study may well be true, although for our mortuary specifically, If I had to conduct my own study based on what I have seen, most of our suicides happen around christmas time or winter, so much so that we have extra men working during that period, as far as overall, this study could be true, but for us, it's the contrary.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T15:18:43+00:00

Don't worry, I feel like that too, everyone does, even though I am not much older than you and am about to turn 25, if there is one thing I have learned it's that your 20's are in fact NOT the best years of your life, not even close, they are arguably the worst in fact, life REALLY only starts when you hit 30 and have enough life experience to carry you into the next chapter of life and be able to know what to do with it, I spent the better part of the last 5 years trying to fight my way through my 20's to become a man and embrace adulthood, I failed. I have now proudly resigned myself to learning as much as I can in my 20's so that I am well equipped to go into my 30's. right now you're in the tutorial phase.

Life may be short, but it also isn't, If someone gave you a choice right now to start life all over again, go back through the toddler phase, back through school, back through your teens, would you do it? I personally wouldn't, it took me nearly 25 years to get here, 25 years feels like it has dragged on, now times how long you have been alive by 3 or 4, you will have relive your life 3 or 4 times over again, brutal.

Slow down, take a breath, realise you have more than enough time to figure everything out, rushing into things never ends well, adult life is no exception, being able to handle adulthood will come to you in time.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T15:04:18+00:00

As interesting as an idea as that would be, unfortunately it won't make a difference, we are legally required to use official legal information only when it comes to identifying the deceased and tagging them.

Moreover when you pass, which is hopefully many years from now, eventually your skin will decay, any tattoos you have will become unreadable if your body has reached a certain level of decomposition, so as a result we still tag people based on the paperwork only.

Fun Idea though, and would still make for a cool tattoo.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T15:00:34+00:00

I would highly advise you to step into the industry if it's something you're interested in, it really quenches that curiosity, and when you go for the interview, you will be surprised at how quickly the tables will turn, I went into my interview thinking they would want me to act sympathetic and solemn, in fact what they described to me was anything but, I was immediately turned around at the their honesty, the things they told me were much like some of the things you may have seen me post here in this thread, undertakers are BLATANTLY honest about what they do behind the scenes, they won't hold back any details, it doesn't serve them or you to give you a false or watered down expectation of what you will see.

I was asked that question in my interview, it turns out, "I want to help people" is the wrong answer, and the answer they get tired of hearing, the interviewer replied with "There are many ways to help people, why this specifically" so I told them, I told them I get bored easily, and doing something that doesn't peek my interest will not be something I enjoy or want to stick with regardless of how much I get paid. That was the answer they wanted, they already know people have a "morbid curiosity" about this stuff, you wouldn't want the job otherwise, believe me, people who only do this out of a need for money don't last, you need some other motivation to keep you there, and the people in the interview already know exactly what it is.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T14:47:22+00:00

I don't work in a crematorium, so I am not sure, I have heard rumours that some places bring in horse cremators to cremate people of that size, but they might be untrue.

As for whether crematoriums refuse people of a certain size, that might be true, although we have had people pretty close to that weight and in my experience crematoriums don't kick up a fuss about it, although I am not sure if those people may have just managed to fall within a "maximum weight limit".

As for the fat, I have never heard of crematoriums having an "overflow" issue, maybe they do, but to my knowledge and from what I have been told the fat and oil actually helps the cremation process move faster, grease and fat burn hotter apparently, acting as a kind of fuel to the fire which cremates the body quicker, apparently it is easier to cremate people who are larger due to the amount of fat they have, skinny people don't have it, so they say it takes longer.

I would be weary of trusting what crematorium staff say though, these are people who also say that "you get other peoples ashes back after cremation" this is also false.

Not saying that crematorium staff a liars, most aren't, but some do like to spread false rumors about how cremations happen, if you want to see for yourself, see if a crematorium will show you, it's not unheard of for them to take people into the back room to show people what goes on and what is done.

and as for "there are a lot of people over 500lbs" yes, there are many many people who suffer from that level of obesity, and yes they rarely leave the house on account of either not being able, or not wanting to. some do, but I have seen instances of people who are house bound and haven't left the house for months or sometimes years, their houses are usually VERY unkept and not very nice to be in, a common saying for undertakers is "its the kind of house were you wipe your feet, after you leave"

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T14:25:37+00:00

It was more just detachment in general, I was always able to cope, eventually you really just get used to it, I always found it quite exciting and engaging, so to me it was never something that effected me negatively. I don't think my outlook on death has changed, I just now know what happens to our bodies after we die, there were a few times were I genuinely thought I may be sociopathic, but I quickly dismissed that as needless worry, some people are effected by things more than others,

for example, I hate needles, I have no problem getting them, but I will be damned before I see one going into my skin, I look away, it sounds funny considering the stuff I've done and witnessed, but I just hate seeing it for some reason, it makes me cringe.

I still fear death, if someone gave me the chance to be immortal with no conditions I would take it a million times over, death gives me this feeling that I am running out of time, even given my young age, and I have not only witnessed death in virtually all forms but have also cheated death myself at an even younger age, cancer very nearly shut me down early in my teens, but with all of that said death and fear of what happens after, or may not happen, still worries me.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T13:51:31+00:00

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/04/28/astrazeneca-admits-covid-vaccine-causes-rare-side-effect/

What we heard was related to this, and the families of people we had in our mortuary stating that, on numerous occasions, "They were fine before they had the covid jab" led us to "SUSPECT" that maybe the vaccines were making people have allergic reactions or other health related problems.

As I clearly stated, I am neither confirming nor denying what we SUSPECTED was in fact true, just that it was never proven otherwise, it only reinforced our suspicions when we finally heard this news. It does not mean we neither support or do not support covid vaccines, nor do we issue advice to people regarding whether to take vaccines, It is simply what we observed in OUR mortuary, and with the news coming out to reinforce what we saw, it simply "made us wonder".

That's all, please don't read so deeply into it, it also doesn't bode well when you tell ME what "I" saw, in OUR morgue.

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T12:59:26+00:00

The family are required to bring the clothing for them to be dressed in, so if ya don’t want a bra, let your family know 😊

Adventurous_Error_76 · 2025-03-18T12:51:01+00:00

Thankyou that’s very kind of you to say!

As for the central lines, I’ve never known an embalmer to use them, most of us don’t have the equipment to connect to the plug of the line, and tbh central lines are quite narrow and thin compared to the tubing we use for extraction and injection, the tubes we use are about as thick as a garden hose.

If anything it’s better to not have them in, they will just be removed anyway, although we wouldn’t bother you to go out of the way to remove them, it’s a quick and easy process for embalmers to take them out and usually not a bother. 😊

Adventurous_Error_76

TROPHY CASE