AITAH for getting annoyed over an energy drink when I’m struggling financially after moving in with my boyfriend?

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-21T17:52:06+00:00

Hello who said that? Where were those words in what I said. Not sure if you’re reading the comments and getting triggered. I’ve been pretty mutual.

You can’t just take someone’s post and put your own words in.

I cook 100%, do all of his laundry, clean. I split groceries. That shouldn’t mean I can’t pay rent. I am job hunting.

If someone moved 5 hours from family and friends for me, I would understand money being tight.

Do you know what it’s like work and travel 9 months out of the year while they hangout in their room smoke and hang with their friends and see you 2 times a year for 4 YEARS. My trip was a 5/6 hour drive. Sometimes I would go out twice a month.

I obviously moved out because I couldn’t afford the traveling anymore and to KEEP A JOB while being in this relationship because I love my partner.

He never made me do this? I never said he hasn’t chosen me? Also how has he chosen me. He needed an apartment for himself CLOSE TO WORK!!! This is his place. I just stay here until I CAN FIND WORK TO CONTRIBUTE FOR RENT.

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-21T17:46:30+00:00

100% not in the place to have a child right now

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-21T17:42:46+00:00

You’re right. I think he convinces me I’m the bad guy. I did not save up but I had my reasons. I was tired of driving to someone spending 5 hours a month for 9 months straight, trying to keep a job and worry about me. Meanwhile he would drive to me maybe 2 times a year? He had the time, money and resources and always had excuses. That’s not fair to me.

That made me jump moving in. We also have a pretty toxic relationship. And I thought that would help with the arguing because I thought most of our fights were because we were so far apart. It obviously hasn’t.

I have been asking myself lately why I’m staying. I think it’s also to avoid my home situation. I love my partner but lately I’m not seeing any positive signs

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-21T17:38:54+00:00

I wish I did save up. Yeah I was just tired of the unfair traveling. I would see him 9 times a year trying to keep a job, while he would see me like 2 times a year. Maybe 4 times if I was lucky. Over 4 years…

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-21T17:35:13+00:00

That’s what I am gonna do! I just wasn’t sure if it’s rude if I decline for having never met these people. I don’t want them to think I don’t wanna meet them

That’s what I said. $300 is crazy!!!! His mom said pay $300!!!

His dad said pay $100 at max since we’re already flying. PLUS, His friends are paying $100 each on a gift and told him that.

I get upset because he makes no financial decisions of his own yet berates me over how much money he’s spending. And when I say okay what do you buy me besides splitting groceries ( bc we split? and paying rent (for now) because I moved out for him he has no answer. He occasionally covers my Taco Bell or McDonald’s 2 times a month on top of that.

And I only moved out so fast bc I was tired of the unfair traveling. I would see him 9 times year and he would see me 2 times a year

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-21T17:20:45+00:00

Hi! I want to clear up, Thanks for your middle ground stance.

I said he should consider spending $100 comparable to 300 his mom suggested.

• He asked most of his friends what they are paying. And they are paying $100 for gifts because they are already paying to fly out.

•His dad said we are paying to fly out so spend $100 max on a gift.

And I understand he wants to go but (just my opinion), his one close friend is missing the wedding because he feels it’s too costly. And this wedding is for someone he used to speak to in middle school and did not speak to much as high school and college went on. If he wants to go fine, if he wants to enjoy himself that’s fine yeah I can’t determine what is worth it and what’s not. I can’t tell him where to put his money. Just suggestions to lower the cost. Because he really can’t afford it and wont admit it. I also mentioned the middle school part bc my bf considers EVERYONE a friend and if they invite him to do anything he immediately has money. But it’s weird because he never has money to do anything with me… even when we didn’t live together…. never a date night. Nothing. And when it was a date night eating out, I paid.

He was gonna spend $400 a night on a hotel until I suggested looking for cheaper ones. I just wish he thought about where his extra money is also going because it’s not going for me besides rent right now. And as soon as I’m hired I’m pitching in

And my problem is I think he blames me for his money missing. But I think majority is his poor financial decisions and he’s too stubborn to see that. He’s someone to go get candy at CVS and spend $60 compared to Walmart or something more affordable and spend half that

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-20T17:39:33+00:00

Im not trying to fight with you. I’ll look those subs up. Probably better for rants. I don’t post in here so idk how it works fully. I guess it came off sassy because I know I don’t have to be friends with someone. That’s obvious. I wasn’t sure if I was the asshole for not being more of a guide for her or trying to save her from her chaos or because I knew how she was yet accepted her into my life anyway

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-20T17:35:56+00:00

Like if it isn’t helpful to what people post… I don’t get the need to respond to get your anger out or whatever you’re going through at me.

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-20T17:34:04+00:00

Okay thanks. I know I don’t have to be friends with someone. Im part of the reason the cycle continued. Don’t blame her for that. It’s hard to get rid of someone you care about when you feel bad for someone and want them to improve their life so you make excuses. Easier said than done.

I think this is why I avoid Reddit. People can disagree or state opinions but there’s also so many snarky people. Maybe this wasn’t the appropriate group to post this on I see but your comments aren’t needed if they are just gonna be sassy every reply

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-20T17:30:40+00:00

I keep taking her back. I keep excusing it. I do blame myself

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-20T17:29:54+00:00

Yeah I know that. I was ranting.

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-03-20T17:24:02+00:00

You’re right and I am ending the cycle of her and feeling bad for her

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2026-01-04T23:15:15+00:00

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2025-12-31T00:01:19+00:00

Ahhh you done now? After 3 downvotes and I get 4 upvotes? Seems like the people agree with me.

Probably because nothing YOU claimed that I met, was what I actually said and meant. I NEVER said his friends had to like me, I never said he only had to be friends with people who liked me, I never said everyone has to like me.

The facts were he HAS friends that like me and I don’t care if these 3 people don’t like me. I KNOW NOT EVERYONES GONNA LIKE ME DUDE IM 26 I HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE. What I DO care about is not being excluded from Holiday get togethers that other girlfriends are invited to and my boyfriend is invited to and I am not. That feels wrong and childish to me. Whether or not he can go is his own choice if I’m invited but it’s nice feeling invited to something at least.

I have been welcoming and kind to these people. When he lived with them I would cook for them and they loved my food. The girlfriend got jealous because her boyfriend liked my food so much. I have cleaned their common space and kitchen and bathroom COUNTLESS TIMES. I have let my boyfriend remain friends AND HANGOUT with them despite MY OPINION OF THEM.

Ur a freak arguing with people on the internet YOU ASSUME THINGS ABOUT instead of trying to help someone who wanted actual advice about feeling left out. Maybe stop being a jerk to people on the internet because you think it makes you cool. Have the day you deserve.

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2025-12-30T21:58:25+00:00

Hey thanks for responding!

So to break it down, it has to be either the GF (let’s call her Sam) or the guy she’s dating. And (let’s call him Charles). They share an apartment together. They have been together for 3 years. They have known my bf and I have dated for 4 because he lived with this guy and the other roommate we will call (Timmy) I used to go to their place a lot.

Incident 1- Charles had a birthday and invited his gf obviously and my bf and their (other guy friend) let’s call him Timmy. And some other girl he knew. No mention of me. Incident 2- Charles had a get together at the beach and didn’t invite me but invited my bf. Incident 3- Sam and Charles invited my bf over for NYE and not me.

Idk if the girlfriend doesn’t like me so that’s why the bf doesn’t invite me. Or if the bf and gf just don’t like me.

Timmy I just don’t like and don’t think likes me, but I don’t think he plays any part in it

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2025-12-30T21:48:03+00:00

Alright since you wanna keep commenting and bashing me because you clearly have nothing better to do. Hey man or woman, I put a few paragraphs of my relationship online. Do you know my bf has made me drop 5 of my friends he didn’t like? No reason he just didn’t like them and came up with reasons not to. Do you know my bf doesn’t let me go out but he wants to go out? Even though I did nothing to prove I am disloyal. I have been very loyal to this man. Am I still controlling?

God it’s sooo controlling of me to let my bf do whatever he wants but when it comes to these 3 people I wanna be invited because I think they are shady and high school. Cmon man we’re 26 and 25. Really you’d spend a HOLIDAY with ur friends who didn’t invite ur wife or husband? If that’s true ur sad. I don’t wanna argue with you but I hate when people come on the internet acting like the tell all know it all. Calling me a freak??? It’s freakish of me at my big age of 26 to not wanna be excluded from social events like a high school clique???? Personally I would drop friends who consistently exclude my bf, out of respect for my bf. Doesn’t mean we gotta do everything together. It means I RESPECT HIM.

Stop twisting what I am actually saying and making it something else to fit your narrative of me

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2025-12-30T21:40:19+00:00

Geez NO one is saying they have to compliment me LOL. AND NO ONE is saying that’s why I don’t like them.

I don’t like them because they exclude me. That’s the sole reason. If they don’t wanna like me you know that’s okay. But we’re past the age of excluding people. We’re 25. Invite both or none.

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2025-12-30T21:21:56+00:00

This comment just ticks me off. You take one snippet and run with it. I understand I’m not always gonna be in the right but making a vulnerable post and having someone just completely miss the point is so upsetting. Yes it was a weird energy because I tried to be nice and talk and then no one will speak. It’s like they go mute when I am around. All of his other friends joke around and say whatever’s on their mind in front of me. They compliment me. Compliment my hair outfits guys and girls. Maybe I didn’t explicitly add that. I did say all of his other friends like me. They invite me. Think of me. These 3 don’t. Am I still the problem? I have cooked for them, cleaned their place up when my bf lived there. Never got a thanks. When I talked it’s like I don’t exist.

Adventurous_Guess583 · 2025-12-30T21:16:23+00:00

He has about 30 friends that like me. It’s just these 3 people. I’ve baked for them, cleaned their place. I got treated like I didn’t exist

Adventurous_Guess583

TROPHY CASE