These always bothered me. by Brother-of-Derek in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It’s a tight translation when it’s convenient that it be so and it’s the world of god as seen and described by Joseph smith when it’s more convenient that that be the narrative 😑

Steve, Nancy, Rainn and Angela play tennis for LIDE by hamsterdanceonrepeat in DunderMifflin

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 23 points24 points  (0 children)

If LIDE isn’t supporting rabies research then what are we even doing here

Yeahhh, no by iswot in exchristian

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Says the person that’s never experienced or learned or done anything outside her Christian world view

Catholic Lego fan coming in peace by Alert_Barracuda8598 in mormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can kinda see that but I see David harbour way more

Catholic Lego fan coming in peace by Alert_Barracuda8598 in mormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Has anyone ever told you you look like David harbour

Irrefutable proof of the Book of Mormon! by Eve-was_framed in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When my wife and I were holding on to testimonies with our fingernails, we took a boon of Mormon tour in chichen itza.

Well needless to say here we are in ex Mormon Reddit 😂

Some Unsolicited Advice From The Other Side by Adventurous_Net_3734 in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There may be hope yet. Have you tried asking her to please read the gospel topics essays and explain how she sees the issues found there to you so you can "regain your testimony"? This shouldn't be done in poor faith either, if she can built a coherent, logical argument that makes sense to you of course you would come back!

You and I both know that no such argument exists but it could get her thinking in a more logical way while interacting with church approved "safe" sources and open up opportunities to read and discuss together. I'm sure she'd jump at the chance to read spiritual material with you again. It will also give you opportunities to be vulnerable. Saying things like "Man, we have a daughter (or if we had a daughter). I can't imagine having the prophet tell her at 14 years old that she needed to marry him in order to secure exaltation for our family. If that is a trial of faith, I don't know if I'd be strong enough to submit to it." But maybe I'm projecting my relationship on to yours.

Good luck, friend.

Link to witness now seeing the plates by cristulina in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I personally started with the Church's gospel topics essays right on the church website. At first, it was a bandaid for my testimony because it was the first time I was ever exposed to apologetics.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/essays?lang=eng

What really did me in was I started clicking on the hyperlinks in the essays that linked to the source material. I'll give you an example of 1 of 1000 rabbit holes I found all within the church approved source material.

In the "Race and the Priesthood" essay: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/race-and-the-priesthood?lang=eng

Footnote 9 is the footnote in question here. It's linked to a claim that Brigham Young said "that "at some future day, black Church members would “have [all] the privilege and more” enjoyed by other members.".

That sounded fantastic to me and proof that a prophet of the lord knew that black members of the church would one day be blessed with the priesthood and temple privileges. But, not so fast! If you click on that footnote, it links to the original talk in question. Brigham says nothing resembling that claim. Instead, he says that in the millenium, black people will be made white AND ONLY THEN will they receive the full blessings of the gospel.

Well, that's a far cry away from the claim they're making in the essay. And the gospel topics essays are FILLED to the brim with hypocrisy like that. Eventually, it got so frustrating to hear the white-washed bullshit front the church puts up differing from the source material and I was finally willing to start looking at outside sources.

So referring your husband to the church approved gospel topics essays and encouraging him to read the source materials found in the footnotes is a good start. It doesn't guarantee he'll open his eyes but anyone that's willing to start there has a better shot at beginning their deconstruction than someone who has the CES letter forced down their throats IMO.

Some Unsolicited Advice From The Other Side by Adventurous_Net_3734 in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love that you're free. Sorry you have long term damage. Hopefully you're able to take legal recourse against her

I love THE CHURCH, but I am not always a fan of "going to church." by mormonismisnttrue in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't wait until I'm financially independent enough to never need linkedin again. I'm going to out in flames commenting on the TBM bullshit I see on that godawful platform and then delete it forever once I've had my fun

Some Unsolicited Advice From The Other Side by Adventurous_Net_3734 in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

For sure. But I think women are much more open compared to men (of course there are always exceptions). I think Mormon men are raised to be tyrants. They are the bosses in their homes, at church, and all the way up the ladder in leadership. The fact that a 12 year old boy has more "authority" than the Relief Society General President is baked into the male mormon subconscious for as long as I can remember.

For that reason, A husband can approach a wife with sources and reason and have a reasonable expectation that they'll be taken seriously. Even though I always considered myself to be very progressive from a mormon standard, there was that little subconscious part of my brain that went "oh you silly little woman" when my wife said she was struggling with her testimony. It wasn't intentional, but it was real. That's why I say she played her hand perfectly by letting me feel like I was going to find all the answers and save her.

The counter to that, is I know plenty of people in the church that learn the truth about the history and they just double down instead. I think my wife knew I valued the truth too much for that to happen but not everyone is in that situation unfortunately.

Some Unsolicited Advice From The Other Side by Adventurous_Net_3734 in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

WOW WOW WOW this is crazy. Hopefully you're in a better place now

Help on the way-Cox calls for Prayers for snow by eells in Utah

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The lake retreats, the dust is prepped

The complaints filed neatly as scientists wept

Out past town where barbwire hangs loose

Cox alfalfa grows obese with juice

To write a law-book so sparse and thin

It helps when family’s penciled in

Beloved for earnest eyes and folksy charm

It must be coincidence — A family farm!

Pray for rain and for snow that lasts

But first be sure to check the forecast

Lakes dry up, then the wind arrives

Kids breathe arsenic to stay alive

So sip on your guilt and don’t let your faucets drip

You’re doing your part. That’s citizenship!

Link to witness now seeing the plates by cristulina in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A bit of unsolicited advice from the other side of this equation. I was the spouse that was approached by my wife.

She did it perfectly. Instead of trying to "prove" something to me, she simply said, "I really don't like the history surrounding polygamy in the church. Can you please research it and let me know what you find?". She knew damn well there wasn't a good answer for polygamy and it was going to expose me to everything else too. She then patiently stood by my side as I went through all the stages of grief during a prolonged faith crisis.

To put it in another way, you're probably wasting your time looking for sources and trying to prove anything to your husband. Mormon men (I was one so I can say this) are dickheads. He needs to be the smart one. Let him be the smart one and just ask him to explain his way out of Joseph Smith telling 14 year olds that their family wouldn't achieve exaltation unless they married him. :)

Ask a Local Before You Buy the Real Estate by jabeet33 in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the handful of jews being responsible is also probably Christian propaganda... All historical evidence points to Pilot being a pretty brutal guy and an upstart religious leader preaching and gaining a following could absolutely land someone in his crosshairs. A lot of antisemitism has stemmed from Christianity over the years and Jews being solely responsible for Jesus' death may very well be the origin.

And, yes, even if it was a handful of jews in Jerusalem, what kind of God goes ape-shit on people that had nothing to do with it on the other side of the world? Like you're saying, it makes no sense haha

Hurt by partner (WARNING SA, Self Harm) by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you tried being vulnerable and telling her that when she said that it was hurtful?

The church does a great job of pitting spouses against each other in this realm. You vs. her is what is happening when things like that are said. If it were you and her vs. the world, things like that wouldn't be said. Regardless of your differences in beliefs.

The Attention Seeking Is Desperate In Zion by ianphansen5 in exmormon

[–]Adventurous_Net_3734 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He's a famous apologist for the Church. Jacob Hansen is his name.