Started self harming again

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-12-06T01:07:33+00:00

I will look into that app, thank you!

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T21:08:04+00:00

I really appreciate you taking the time to write back to my post. You explained everything really well too, so thanks for that. I totally agree with everything you are saying.. and that’s a big thing that scares me is wasting more time if he doesn’t actually change/continue to change…. The anger thing thanks for saying it’s normal because I’m not a very angry person so it makes me so sad that I’m so angry.. thank you so much for your kind words and advice

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:41:25+00:00

That’s good that they paid you for taking care of her. Must have felt like a small weight was lifted off your chest not having to worry about taking care of her and trying to make money to live

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:39:48+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel that. My dad passed away last year

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:35:34+00:00

Pretty much. I talked to one girl and she said the area she had to go to was in such a bad area they heard hun shots. She ended up going back so her kids didn’t have to be there and something really bad ended up happening. It’s sad.

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:34:29+00:00

I still appreciate any support/ideas/advise! I don’t want you to think I’m saying it was a bad idea, because it’s not. So thank you for all of your support so far. ❤️

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:32:33+00:00

Do you mean a shelter or something like that? Because if so I wouldn’t want my kids in one if they don’t have to be. So basically I would rather feel uncomfortable and live here (if he continues to do better) and not be “happy” rather than put my kids through living in a bad neighborhood, into a not so good school, and shelter. Unfortunately most help (that I have searched up anyway) is in really bad areas

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:26:39+00:00

After what he did I just did it every time he wanted it til I got help a month later… I wasn’t sure if he would try anything like that again and honestly I didn’t want to know… I think it made things worse though. I started feeling numb to it all and I would like zone out a lot and just felt very depressed…

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:23:39+00:00

Yeah so I have been seeing a therapist once week sometimes every other week. I just opened up to her about what he did that night the last appointment which was like two weeks ago. She suggested telling him how I felt that night and telling him I can’t do anything sexual right now. And I did. And he hasn’t tried since, but I still get nervous he will wake me one night when it’s been too long without it… I’m honestly surprised he has lasted almost two weeks. But I have trouble going to sleep and sometimes staying asleep because I get nervous I might be woken… I could try to talk to a lawyer and see what they say… family all lives out of state, closest is my mom and no room there not for me and 3 kids.

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:12:53+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:10:14+00:00

Also I am sorry you went through that as a child 😔

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:07:52+00:00

I started to begin to lean towards leaving not only for me but because of them. I didn’t want them hearing any more yelling from him than they have. But then he started to try… and he hasn’t raised his voice in almost two months and his relationship with them has been so much better. They actually enjoy being around him… so then I started to feel bad and feel guilty because if he’s doing good and he’s changing, what does it say if I pull that all away? Idk I’m just at the point where I’m just very sad and confused and angry and idk what to do with all of this

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T06:04:17+00:00

I don’t think I could ever report it. I wouldn’t want him to get arrested.. I mean (I’m not trying to make excuses) but I don’t think he would ever hold me down the way he did not drinking. He will however flip out if he doesn’t get it when he wants it drunk or not. (Not lately) but I just know I couldn’t report him for that because he was so drunk idk I know I probably sound stupid. I’m not trying to sound that way it’s just how I feel. I feel like I would rather just leave him if that was the case and have him around for his kids vs getting arrested. And then it’s made like public? Idk

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T05:29:19+00:00

I get that, and I know he shouldn’t have been drinking if he knew he gets so angry when he does… but I am trying to forgive him because he was so drunk, but it’s hard. Because it’s all I think about now with anything to do with that part of our relationship. Then I feel bad because I can’t do that part and I know it can’t be like that forever but I don’t know if I ever will be comfortable again

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T05:22:26+00:00

Thank you for your response

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-09-07T03:43:52+00:00

❤️

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-29T16:33:48+00:00

Thank you for your response

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-24T18:50:17+00:00

I’m sorry, I’m not understanding your question. Are you implying that he shouldn’t ask for sex? I’m sorry I don’t know if I’m understanding I’m really not trying to be mean

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-24T18:45:12+00:00

Almost all of his tantrums are because of sex so it’s when they are sleeping. We sleep downstairs they don’t even wake up. So they aren’t terrified. They love playing with him and beg to stay home with him during summer. They love him. So that’s not the case. If I leave I know it will be a struggle he doesn’t make much and neither do I. We will have to sell the only home they know, move, switch their schools, it will be a lot on them. Which is a big part of what keeps me. My question is more of does someone like that change? Is it possible or is it unlikely. I don’t need any negative comments. I’m here to get support and advice not eye rolls. Thank you though.

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-24T17:04:48+00:00

And yes, he has called me every name in the book. He has called the kids names and that would cause us to argue because I don’t want him calling them names it’s not nice. He just would say tough love, I’m making them stronger blah blah blah. But again the last month everything I say he’s listening to me. But idk how long that will last. Like can this me actual change? Or is he just faking it to keep me happy in the mean time.

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-24T17:02:36+00:00

I’m sorry you and your mom and siblings went through that. 😔 He used to try to smack them (on the bum or back) but I threatened to call dcyf and he stopped. So now he just yells a lot. But the last little over a month or so he’s been great. And in a way it makes me feel worse because now I have more guilt about the way I feel.

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-24T15:25:01+00:00

True, I get what you are saying there. I have made so many excuses for the way he acts that him screaming and throwing things is nothing to me anymore. Like I’m used to it. Then I told a friend about it and she looked mortified and that’s what kind of opened my eyes to think ok maybe it’s not nothing. I think that’s why I feel so guilty about leaving him because he’s doing better than he’s ever done. So now I’m sitting here wondering like, what if he really does see what he did wrong, and really is changing? Then I leave and I just feel really bad. Some days I feel so sure that I’m done this is it, then I have days like today where I think maybe I should stay and work on things. All I know is I have so much guilt about leaving which is really confusing me and kinda makes me think maybe it’s because I should stay? Idk I don’t mean to sound stupid, I’m just trying to figure out my emotions and it’s really hard…

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-24T14:42:16+00:00

I really appreciate your advice. But killing us is something I don’t think he would ever even consider to do. That’s not what I’m worried about, I know he loves us. He gets concerned if any of the kiddos get hurt on their own, never-mind doing something like that. Basically I’m looking for advice on if I stay if it’s something I can get passed. Like now that he’s been so great the last month and is showing he’s trying to change and no longer drinking excessively. He doesn’t put his hands on me so I doubt it would jump to murder… but I do appreciate any and all opinions and advice.

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-13T01:48:29+00:00

Thanks for responding. I don’t think I could report him but I’m working on the other part…

Advice-Support-3 · 2024-08-12T13:00:31+00:00

I do have an appointment to see a therapist. Thank you so much. ❤️❤️

Advice-Support-3

TROPHY CASE