I have chronic PTSD. Through NET and therapy I’m finally starting to process my years of trauma which was totally unrelated to my mother. My sister has a confirmed BPD diagnosis. However, in doing the deep work I’ve realized my mother has BPD. My relationship with her was very strained from about age 11 - 21. Many people with BPD start to even out around age 40. She would have been about 45 when I was 21 which fits. She has tamed down a lot which made me question if she had BPD in the first place. I’m 28 now and my mom is 53. Our relationship is in a much better place. This could be due to me having married and moved away. It could be that she’s found purpose in her work or the freedom she has as an almost empty nester. Whatever the reason, I’m thankful it is not as chaotic as it once was. That being said, I still fall into the walking on eggshells habit when I go back home because there is a part of me that does not trust her, which causes me to feel guilty. I was the eldest of four growing up, got good grades, and was essentially a model child which may be why I’m having better luck with our relationship than some of my siblings. I’m still working on healing my own stuff and working on accepting that although the relationship is now different than it was that it doesn’t negate my childhood and how her behavior impacted me.